A couple of warnings
This document is intended to be very brief. There is abundant information readily available elsewhere (eg http://www.sexuality.org/concise.html) for those who seek to know about safe sex practices.
Courting includes a vast range of human behaviours, some of which are more or less risky. Generally those risks are known and easily assessed by the players. Because sex is a subject about which there is a great deal of denial and ignorance however, those risks may also be denied.
The best protection against STDs is abstinence or strict monogamy:
- When you first start you are changing partners. Take care, check out your partner's history.
- Kissing does not transmit sexual diseases (notwithstanding saliva exchange).
- Touching with clean hands does not transmit disease.
- Oral sex (cunnilingus and fellatio, ‘going down’ or ‘eating’) has a very low risk of transmitting disease.
- Vaginal intercourse with a condom is fairly low risk even with an infected partner.
- Vaginal intercourse with a diaphragm gives no protection against disease but does protect against pregnancy if the diaphragm is properly fitted.
- Anal intercourse is high risk regardless of the sex of the partners and regardless of the use of a condom. The failure rate of condoms in anal sex is high as the activity is not naturally lubricated. Anal intercourse commonly involves the rupture of capillaries (chafe – no noticeable bleeding) and is high risk for transfer of blood borne diseases including AIDS.
Understand how your contraceptive is designed to work:
- Read the instructions; ‘when all else fails’ is too late with this one.
- Use it the way it was designed, don't cut corners.
- If you need it, you need it to work.
- If you feel you do not understand, ask.
- Contraception is not expensive, don't save cost.
- If you can't afford it, don't do it.
- Gladwrap (polythene film) is not a condom.
- Coitus interruptus (whipping it out in the nick of time) is not a contraceptive.
- The rhythm method (Vatican roulette) is not a contraceptive.
- Oral sex can not make you pregnant and can be just as much fun.
Sexual tension needs to be relieved:
- There are lots of ways to do this without having intercourse (private or mutual masturbation, oral sex, etc)
- A man may become quite uncomfortable if his tension is unrelieved for many days
- That discomfort will do him no harm (it will be partly relieved in a wet dream in due course if not relieved otherwise)
- That discomfort may be made part of your play, but it is no basis for sexual concessions (blackmail).
Inform yourself about your own physical geography, and that of your mate – there is a good deal to learn, and the more you know the better you will be placed to enjoy yourselves.
Learn about safe sex practices, visit http://www.sexuality.org/ and read up. Ensure that you do not engage risky behaviour with any person who may be doing the same thing with others. The only really safe sex is with one healthy monogamous partner.