What do I want?

For myself?

I once longed for wisdom. To be wise, it seemed, was the most desirable of all conditions; but I find it comes with a price. To aspire to wisdom is also to assume responsibility for its application, and that can be a very costly burden. Wisdom may be good, but sometimes simple humility may be more valuable; life is not found in a single asset.

Older now, I feel with urgency the need for passion in my life, to be surcharged with the exultation and the pain of life experienced without restraint, without needless inhibition guilt or fear; to indulge sensation – to overflow with all that life has to offer; and to urge those I contact to find and enjoy all the energy and intensity which living can have for them.

Soon perhaps, what I will find is that what I desire is of lesser value than what I have already found. I do not fear that, how else can I know what is of value to me and what is not?

When I am ended I wish to face my Maker having used every one of His gifts and talents to the limit.

For my children (and other readers)?

It is tempting to want for you what I wish for myself. That would be an error. What I wish for you is what you wish for yourselves.

I encourage you to grasp life to the fullness and to live to your limits. In the end what is important is that you allow yourselves to become equal to life – your life.

What does this mean?

Our passion for life may be expressed in:

Our service to the missions by which we are challenged
Growing ourselves and our minds beyond the limits of yesterday
Loving – in all its many colours
Honouring the wisdom of pain
Loving ourselves – what I am able to become.

It is freedom to live abundantly in the light of Truth.

Rejoicing the passion of life is not (for me at least):

Always having a good time – ‘though good times are included
Drunkenness or chemical intoxication – which obliterates our awareness
Debauchery or infidelity – which denies respect for others
Waste – which denies the needs of others
Deceit or denial – God is Truth.

Whatever else, choose to live in the light of Truth – we can never perfect it, but must strive for it and seek it always.

Peter Hoban

Original: July ‘00
This page is part of “Living in the Light”
found at: http://www.geocities.com/phoban2000/

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