Passionate Living

In the conclusion of ‘Henry and June’ (the personal diary of Anaïs Nin detailing her relationships with Henry and June Miller) Anaïs makes a beautiful reflection on the conflicts inherent in personal growth:

“Last night I wept. I wept because the process by which I have become a woman was painful. I wept because I was no longer a child with a child's blind faith. I wept because my eyes were opened to reality... I wept because from now on I would weep less. I wept because I have lost my pain and I am not yet accustomed to its absence.”

Her tears are not of regret but simply an overflowing of intense feelings. I can think of no better image of the quality of life I seek for myself and which I would wish for everybody who understands that life may be much more than so many people expect.

Of course, not everybody wishes to live like this. Some people wish to be like the stereotypical bank clerks and librarians – steady, not heady. If that includes you then this page may be of only academic interest.

Passion (Noun: Strong feeling or emotion; Something that is desired intensely; An irrational but irresistible motive for a belief or action; A feeling of strong sexual desire; Any object of warm affection or devotion) is not just related to the expression of sexual desire but is descriptive of the way in which we hold and express those values which are closest to us.

To seize what we believe and to pursue it passionately is the only way in which we can achieve the fullest expression of these beliefs and values.

The Power Of Passion by Suzanne Falter-Barns is a delightful excerpt from her book ‘How Much Joy Can You Stand’

She holds up the example of the elite:

“These people have achieved success because they surrendered fully and completely to their passion. Their first and utmost priority in their life is their work, and they give themselves to it without question. ... What the genius knows is out-and-out surrender to creativity.

Genius is brash and audacious. It smashes convention with delight and refuses to be ignored. It defies the social animal in all of us that's trained to be polite, clever, and adorable, and it chooses the path of raw veracity every time. Genius exists for itself and the sheer joy of its release into the world, and yet it exists for us as well. We need its power and its roughness, just as we need the tranquility of the everyday.

No one has ever celebrated a genius who took things only halfway. Indeed, the world looks to them not just for vision and inspiration but to take comfort in the pure dare of celebrating life as fully as possible. This is the province of true creative genius, a place of no boundaries, no restraints, and no taboos.”

While these observations are entirely true it needs to be appreciated that generally speaking the elite are not us (that is why they are elite); however, the experience may still be ours. She points up how we are limited mostly by our own expectations of ourselves – that we may not have elite capabilities but we are capable of being the best we can be, and mostly that is a great deal more than we are.

We put up with so-so jobs because we are afraid of failing at something more interesting. We reduce our sense of self worth so that we may believe the ho-hum wages of that job are all we deserve. We refuse to allow ourselves what we could have – if only we lifted our eyes up and sought them – whether money, or love, or sex, or opportunity, or whatever – because we are afraid we will be unable to handle them, or will seem to be wanting too much.

We cut down the ‘tall poppies’ who would make something of their lives, simply to justify and rationalize our own fear of success. We are afraid that if we aspire to something worthwhile we will lose the honour and respect of others – those others who remain too afraid to grow themselves. How foolish.

To Live in the Light is to be honest – unafraid to pursue the Truth regardless of the fear which may bind others to their darkness and puny aspirations. Take courage to use the talents and abilities which we have been given, to use them to the full. We have to quit our habit of hiding behind other people's opinions and accept the freedom to act with the strength and courage which is ours.

‘Success’ is likewise not determined by those unimaginative others. Contentment with having tried may be all the success we need to justify our endeavour, more often our experience is that our satisfactions far exceed our expectations but in ways we had never anticipated. In this context the criterion of success which a non-trier may choose becomes irrelevant.

Living with passion exposes us to risks. The heady excesses tend to be alternated with a correspondingly unexciting grind. The nature of our experience is relative. If all our moments are wildly exciting we soon suffer stress-related illnesses, we have to have normal or average hours to maintain a homeostatic balance, and in contrast to the brightest moments these seem fearfully dull.

What we then experience as a great moment is a moment which is great relative to the average pedestrian travel of our lives. Similarly a low moment is one which simply isn't as good.

Do I appear to be suggesting then, that however we live our lives will have similar highs and lows and that there is nothing to be gained by seeing ourselves differently. Definitely not. What I suggest is that we may choose to have better highs at the expense of more discouraging lows, or we can choose to live like the archetypical banker – steady not heady, stick-in-the-mud conservative.

So where do we find the energy or the power necessary to ride the tornado. The power is in our own passion – the conviction and strength with which we grasp and pursue our ideals and beliefs. Our preparedness to risk what we have in pursuit of something better is the measure of the power available to us.

To each his own – you choose for yourself. For mine, the intoxicating excitement is priceless.

Peter Hoban

Original: December ‘99
This page is part of “Living in the Light”
found at: http://www.geocities.com/phoban2000/

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