From: [email protected]
Subject: From Nurse Jones: Avertimento in C Major
Date: 8 Dec 92 05:18:32 GMT
From Nurse Jones,
Avertimento in C Major
2 parts harmony
1 part discord
"Look, let's be logical about this," he said.
She said, "Does that mean we are having an argument?"
"Huh?"
"Because whenever you want to be logical it means we are having an
argument. That's how come you always win."
"I don't always win. Besides, you've got it backwards. Again. When I'm
logical, it doesn't mean I want to argue; when we argue, I want to be
logical. There's a difference. Besides, that's exactly what I'm
talking about."
"You do too."
"Huh?"
"Always win."
"Okay. Just listen and let me finish."
"We're arguing. You always say 'Just listen' when we're arguing."
"Awright! But just listen: People that were abused as children often
block out the memory."
"Right. Listening."
"You blocked out a memory..."
"Right."
"But that doesn't mean you were abused."
"Um..."
"See? Your logic was backwards. It's like with Socrates..."
"Socrates."
"Yeah. All men are human. Socrates was a man. Therefore...um..."
"Yes?"
"Nevermind. What I mean is, you could have blocked it out for some
other reason. Like because it was an orgasm."
"Why would I do that? Orgasms are nice. I hear."
"Well, like your friend averti said: Powerful stuff is powerful
stuff..."
"Uh..."
"Look at it this way: All canaries are yellow..."
"Canaries. What happened to Socrates?"
"Nevermind Socrates. Concentrate on canaries. Yellow ones."
"You have a screw loose."
"No, wait: Your car is yellow..."
"Except for the fender..."
"Yeah, yeah. Except for the fender. But..."
"... and I still say that wasn't my fault."
"Right. Just let me finish."
"Are you sure we're not arguing?"
"Yes. We're having a discussion."
"You always say that when we're arguing."
"We're NOT arguing."
"We're arguing."
"We're NOT arguing. Just let me finish."
"Why should I if we're arguing?"
"Okay, we're arguing. Are you happy?"
"How can I be happy if we're arguing?"
"Oh God. Look: the point is: your car -- except for the fender and
that's not your fault -- is yellow, but that doesn't make it a
canary."
"I think I'm going to win this argument."
"The point is you had your logic backwards. Your memory block doesn't
mean you were abused."
"I see..."
"Finally."
"We're arguing."
"Yes. Okay. We're arguing. Do you see the point?"
"I wasn't abused because I have a yellow Volkswagen."
"... (Sigh.) ... yeah."
"Thank God."
"Huh?"
"That was a close one. I almost bought a motorcycle instead..."
"Um... yeah..."
"Instead of the volks..."
"Yeah."
"Do I win?"
"Yeah."
"Say it."
"Say what?"
"Say 'You win.'"
"You win."
"Thankyou. And stop looking at me like that."
FIN
Nurse Jones,
I've decided to
live after all.
On to the next posting
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