From: [email protected]
Subject: Nurse Jones; O Gawd. I really shouldn't post this...
Date: 1 Dec 92 23:18:13 GMT
From Nurse Jones,
[Another post written after I lost my account. Sometime during the
middle of the summer of '92...]
This is a very difficult thing to write about. If I weren't off the
Net and writing in a vacuum right now, I wouldn't be able to tell this
story. It's too embarrassing.
I'm afraid I've shocked Anita. I didn't mean to, but it wasn't my
fault. In fact it was entirely Jay's fault. He should have locked the
door. It was really embarrassing. I think it was the most embarrassing
thing that has ever happened to me. It makes me feel a little isolated
from both Jay and Neets.
We were playing with the "X" frame. He's modified it again so there is
this "T" shaped piece between the arm parts of the X. I guess I should
call it a crucifix, really, except my legs are spread by it. Really
far apart.
The thing is, he *laces* me to it. There are rows of closely- spaced
nails all over the back and he takes a shoelace-sized string and
passes it over me, hooks it under a nail, passes it back over me
again, hooks it.... I am held by a closely-spaced webbing. It takes a
*long* time to do me up.
And he has a boxlike gizmo that bolts on to hold my head immobile. It
has adjustable padded dowels and straps and things. He's such a
hobbyist.
And he put "hands" and "feet" on it, too. There are wedges that hold
my feet in the position that a pair of heels would: sort of pointed.
And between the fingers, the hands have rows of little hooks like
those shoelace holders they put on hiking boots. He can lace each
finger individually to the board. Talk about retentive. I don't
actually have to *help* him get me into it, but if I resisted I could
probably keep him from putting me on it, just because it's so
complicated. It requires passivity if not cooperation.
Anyway, he had me in this contraption when Anita walked in.
The whole thing rotates on an axle-like pipe attached at the waist of
the "X". The pipe hangs trapeeze-like from the eyebolts in front of
out fireplace. Rightside up, flat on my back, upside down, whatever.
We tell everybody the eyebolts in the ceiling were left by the
previous owners. Except we've added some since the last time Jay's
parents visited. I don't know what we'll tell them next time. There
are even eyebolts in the baseboards now.
Anyway: the thing is, you are completely immobilized in this x-
frame/crucifix. You can't turn your head, you can't move your fingers,
you can't move your feet. You CAN wiggle your toes and roll your eyes.
He put the small (thank god -- I hate the big one) ball gag on me with
the strap behind the frame of the "T".
Here comes the embarrassing part. I may have to erase it later.
***begin erase?***
It's what he did to my lips. Yes, those lips. With my head immobile I
couldn't really see what he was doing, but he showed me later and I'm
grateful I didn't know at the time. I mean, I knew he had done
something Down There, but I didn't know what, exactly. He had epoxied
a bunch of little wire hooks to clothsepins and clips of various
sizes. He put the pins and clips on me and pulled me open, pulling my
lips apart and hooking the little hooks to rubber bands that he
stretched around to the back of the frame. I'm sure I looked like
something being dissected in a biology class.
The thing is, none of this hurt. Well, the clothsepins did at first,
but for some reason they stop hurting almost immediately and then
sting again when he takes them off.
And the piece de resistance was a sort of loop of bent plastic pipe
that arched above my chest with the ends fitted into holes in the
support under my back. He had rubber bands with "S" shaped hooks that
he used to pull my nipple rings out toward the loop. It took him a
while to get the tension on those right. That was pretty important. To
me, anyway.
In the lower part of my peripheral vision I could see my breasts being
stretched out to points. My nipples became erect while they were being
held out there, but you'd never know it from the way they looked. I
could feel them, though. I could tell.
Jay is such a hobbyist. He keeps tinkering with this thing. It started
out as a simple X frame; now it's adjustable eight ways from Sunday.
So am I. Sort of a swiss army wife...
I suppose I could tell you the details of how he puts me into this
thing, how he laces me up and how I feel myself becoming more and more
immobilized as he goes on, but what would be the point? You all know
how it works. You just abandon yourself to it and let it take you
over. And after a while, there you are...
The first time he did it was a complete flop. Nothing fit right,
everything had to be adjusted, and by the time I was finished I was
completely out of the mood. But the next time he made a nighttime
candle-lit ritual out of it and did things to me that were very sexy.
Even dripped a little hot wax on strategic parts of the Jones anatomy.
Candle light is so romantic, don't you think? Maybe 'intimate' is the
word I'm looking for.
Anyway. The whole point of this is to write about the *third* time we
played with this toy.
So there I was, in the middle of the afternoon, strung up on this
contraption. Awright, awright. Jay is offended. That's what he gets
for reading over my shoulder. Actually, it's not a contraption; it's
very well made and I feel perfectly safe on it. Okay? It's just that I
can't move a damn thing but my eyes. Nothing. And I feel so exposed.
And I know I look weird after seeing Anita on it. I'll tell you about
that some other time. Your flesh squeezes through between the laces
and makes you look like sausage links. Or something. Except Anita
doesn't look so odd, she has such a thin, hard body. I'm a softy by
comparison; I look like the pillsbury dough girl in a string bag.
But you can't move. At all. For some reason, having my hands tied
open, palms up, fingers spread, makes me feel particularly vulnerable
and helpless. I was stretched, distorted, and immobilized in every way
I could be. Plus Jay had been ... doing things ... to me, and I was
right on the edge of my first orgasm and I had gooshed and it was
running all down my legs. Gawd what a sight I must have been.
And what an image. I guess I'm showing you the seamier side of
Nurse Jones. Maybe I *should* erase this later. It's pretty gross, now
that I read it over.
o well. wot the hell, archie, wot the hell. probly never get an
account anyway...
***erase to here?***
The thing was, Anita saw me this way and she really wasn't supposed
to. I mean, I didn't want her to see me like that. I REALLY didn't.
Neither of us was ready for it.
When she walked in the door she wasn't expecting a scene like that. I
think I disgusted her. She says not, but the look on her face was very
noncommital. I think she was shocked and hiding it.
Jay had stepped out of the room for a second and Neets came storming
in like she always does. We are all pretty much at home in each
other's places, so this wasn't unusual. Jay should have locked the
doors, I guess, or something. We didn't even hear her car pull up.
When she looked up at me and the sight registered with her -- it must
have been pretty shocking -- she just closed her eyes. She didn't turn
away, she didn't really change her expression, she just closed her
eyes. As though she were hoping it was a mistake and I wouldn't be
there the next time she opened them. As though she had accidentally
walked into the wrong changing room at a mall store and was
embarrassed by what she saw. Or didn't want to embarrass the person
she walked in on.
But then she opened her eyes and looked again. All I could do was look
back. I was very upset. I tried to wriggle and to speak to her and
tell her not to look. I just made squealing noises. I felt pretty
horrified. It was awful to be trying to throw my weight around in a
panic and using all my strength and have Neets unable to even tell I
was trying to move. I couldn't even make the X- frame rock. I cut
loose and started screaming, but the gag kept me incoherent. I
couldn't say anything intelligible. I felt so helpless. It's just that
screaming and squeezing my eyes shut were the only things I could do,
so I did them.
I stopped screaming when she walked over to me, though. I had to know
how she was reacting to this disgusting sight in front of her. She
walked slowly, all the while looking up at me hanging there above her.
She put her hand on my thigh as though she were afraid to touch me. As
though to verify that what she was seeing was real. I've never ever
felt so much like a freak as I did at that moment.
She said, "Awwww..." As though I were a stray puppy. Something to be
pitied.
Just then, Jay walked back in. I think he heard my squealing and
carrying on.
"Neets..." he said, surprised. He didn't know what to do or say.
Neither did she.
"Um ... hi." She looked back up at me. I groaned and closed my eyes.
"Uh, I think maybe I came at a bad time..." she said.
Jesus. I think maybe I came at a bad time. Jesus.
Jay said, "Uh...." Brilliant, he is. *Brilliant.*
"Maybe I should come back later..."
I opened my eyes again and tried to nod vigorously. Come back much
later, I was shouting to myself inside my head. After my blood
pressure goes back down to 340 over a zillion. A hundred years later.
Jay looked at me and back at Neets, and walked over and shut the door
that she had left standing open. He stood there with his back to Neets
and me, hand on the knob, head bowed. He was thinking. I'm dying over
here and he has to think. Just tell her to leave. It's not so hard.
Just tell her to leave. Just open your lips and tell her.
Pleasepleaseplease just tell her...
She still had her hand on my thigh. I know I felt bumpy and weird the
way I squeezed through the laces holding me to the frame.
"I think maybe you should stay for a minute," he said.
She looked up at me. I groaned and shut my eyes again.
Then she turned to Jay and said, "Let her go, can't you?"
He walked over and tilted the "X" down so I was horizontal, on my back
about chest-high.
She took out the gag and I started blubbering at her not to look at
me, to please please turn away and stop looking. And I shouted to Jay
to please cover me up and stop it and take me down. I kept my eyes
shut tight for some crazy reason. It was the only thing I could do to
hide myself, I guess. I dunno.
And then Neets, bless her, starts kissing and cuddling me. Well, my
head, anyway. It's pretty hard to cuddle someone with a bunch of
lumber in the way.
I was really acting strangely and I knew it but I just couldn't stop.
It was crazy behaviour. I kept blubbering between her kisses for her
to please please not think I was weird and she kept kissing me and
telling me I was sexy and not to be upset and when she kissed me I
would do my immobile best to kiss her back but the second our lips
parted I was babbling again about how horrible I looked. It was a
nightmare. And to cap it all off, when Jay started to undo me Anita
told him to wait and give us a few minutes alone and she would call
him afterward.
Jesus, I said, let me down Jay, *please*, and he stood there for a
minute thinking about it and he pointed out to Neets that I was pretty
upset (Jesus, I shouted again) and he asked Neets what she was going
to do and she said, Show her I love her, that's all, and let her down.
He decided to leave me there.
So out he goes and I'm shouting after him to Pleasepleaseplease Let Me
Down, and suddenly there I am with Anita.
Thankyou Jay. So very f**king much, I thought.
She wiped my nose, which had started running while I was blubbering,
and started kissing me again and running her hands over my bulging
laced-up sausage-link-flesh.
God, I was so embarrassed for her to be seeing me like that. It was my
worst nightmare. I couldn't believe it was happening.
She was so nice, but I looked so awful, I know. I kept right on
blubbering so much she decided to put the gag back in. I was
protesting mightily at this point, but when she put it against my lips
I clammed up. I wasn't about to let myself get deeper into this. I
started to say, "No!" but I had to clench my teeth to stop the gag
going in, so it came out a kind of "Nh!" noise.
So Neets took it away and kissed me again.
"So, are you going to shut up for a minute, or what?"
I was nearly hyperventilating, I was so upset, but I slowed down
enough to say, "'Kay," through my teeth.
"Okay." She kissed me again. I didn't respond. "Look: I'm putting the
gag away." She tossed it across the living room, through the kitchen
door. I couldn't see, but I heard it bounce on the floor. I relaxed a
little.
"Come on, Neets. Lemmie go. Please. Please? I can't stand this, I
really can't. Please?"
"You could stand it with Jay.... So what's the matter with me?"
"Jesus Neets, you weren't supposed to see me like this. This isn't
fair. Jay shouldn't have left. It's not fair. Please now. Huh? Lemmie
go? Come on, please?"
"Where's all that talk about not having any secrets? Huh? I thought
you said perfect relationships didn't have secrets. Or was all that
just Nurse Jones talk?" She calls me Nurse Jones when she thinks I'm
being overly theatrical and melodramatic. She doesn't think my posting
to ASB is a healthy thing to do. Well, I can't help it if I see things
differently. Sometimes I feel theatrical and melodramatic. At that
particular moment I was feeling horrified.
"I'm just not ready for this. Please. Please!"
"Okay. Okay. I'll untie you." She walked around between my legs. Jesus
what an embarrassing thought. Even now. The way I looked down there.
It was awful. The way I was held, spread out by those clothsepins was
just ... awful. Thank God I didn't know at the time what I looked
like. I mean I knew there were clothsepins, but... I don't know what I
thought.
***more erasing here?
Then she licked me. Like a cat. Right There. Where I was spread open
for the whole world to see.
"Come on, Neets..." I tried to sound like I was warning her of dire
consequences. Exactly what they might have been I can't imagine.
"Awright already. I will," she said. She didn't sound like she was
in a hurry. "I just wanted to see what it would be like to ... you
know ... to ... just, um, see ... "
She did it again. I was still feeling the effects of what Jay had done
to me. I mean, I have to admit that as upset as I was, I hadn't vented
all of my preorgasmic energy in hysterical blubbering.
"Neets, please. I can't stand this."
"Okay, okay. Just tell me if that felt good."
"Neets!"
"Okay, okay, but not unless you tell me."
"Okay, it felt good. Now please..."
She took the first pair of clothsepins off, the ones at the bottom. I
couldn't even see her, but I could definitely feel it. It stung. Plus
she licked me again.
"Is that better?"
"Just hurry up."
"Okay, but is that any better? Did I hurt you?"
"Neets, cut it out!"
"Okay, okay, I'm taking them off already.... But tell me again..."
"Yes, it felt good if you must know. Now quit fooling around."
She took off the second pair. And then she did it AGAIN.
"There. How's that. Is that better?"
I sighed. "Yeah, it's better."
"Because I could kiss it and make it better, you know..."
"Oh God..." It's impossible to stop her when she gets like this.
"Here. Look." She applied herself industriously for a few seconds. "I
bet that's much better. Isn't it?"
"Um, yes. But hurry up, okay?"
"You mean hurry up and ..."
"...and take off the damn clothsepins and f**king untie me! Jesus!"
"Okay, okay. Keep your pants on.... There. That's the last one."
"Great. Now untie me."
"Okay, but tell me: are you even a little bit turned on? Because I
am."
"YES! OKAY?!? I'm turned on. If you must know, Jay had me right on the
edge when you walked in. Okay? You happy? I'm turned on. But I want
you to untie me. Now!"
"Right on the edge? Awwww. Poor baby. Really? Right on the edge?
What's it like right on the edge? Tell me."
"Oh Neets. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. I'm sorry, really."
Anita's never had an orgasm. She's never been anywhere but the edge.
She didn't say anything. She just stood up straight so I could see her
face. She was expressionless. I hate it when I can't tell what she's
thinking because when she's expressionless is exactly when you need to
know most what's going on in her head.
"Neets? I'm sorry, I really didn't mean anything. Really. Neets? Say
something."
She didn't say anything.
She was standing between my legs and she just pushed down on my feet.
I rotated slowly on the axle until I was almost face-down, looking
down at her. She reached up and pulled my face down to hers and kissed
me. It wasn't a nice kiss. She kissed me too hard, and her expression
was ... well ... cold. She looked like she despised me.
I was stunned.
"Neets...?"
No answer.
"Is everything okay, Neets?"
No answer.
She pushed me away again, so I rotated onto my back. I couldn't see
her anymore; I was looking straight up at the cobwebs on the ceiling.
It makes me insecure to have Neets mad at me. People especially
shouldn't make love if they're mad at each other.
Because that's what she did. She started making love to me. This is a
weird way to do it, too. I mean, there I was hanging in midair on my
back and couldn't see anything but the ceiling and she was standing
there, going ,well, up on me.
I was still, basically, a little turned on after Jay's tender
ministrations had left me (literally) hanging on the edge, but I
protested what she did to me. She wasn't her usual gentle, teasing
self, and I protested. Weakly.
Jay came in in the middle, I guess because he was concerned about me,
but she snapped at him, "Get out."
I heard him hesitate, maybe to give me a chance to say something, but
I kept silent and he left. I was tempted to call out to him, and maybe
I should have gotten him to let me down, but I wanted to sort things
out with Anita.
She shouldn't have made love to me when she was angry. This wasn't my
fault. I protested, but without conviction and she kept at me. I
didn't know for sure if she was angry. I really didn't until the end.
I should have known from the way she kissed me, but I was in no state
to be logical, and after all she *was* making love to me. People don't
do that if they're angry. Or at least they shouldn't. I tried to
protest, but I know now I should have shouted for Jay.
Instead I protested and slipped back into my own head at the same
time.
No, Neets, don't. Please don't. Stop. Please. Don't stop...
And just when I was starting to slide into my first orgasm -- just
when, if it had been Jay, I would have been turning into an animal and
begging him for more of everything -- just when I was poised for a
launch into eternity -- she stopped and left me twitching on my own to
finish the most unsatisfying, pitiful little orgasm imaginable. I
flexed and strained and concentrated and ... nothing. Nothing but
hunger.
She left me on my back, staring at the ceiling, unable to see what she
was doing. Through my mental fog I heard the door slam and a few
seconds later her car started.
Neets?
Jay came back and let me down. I kept telling him he should have
stayed. He should have. It was awful. This is not my fault. Please
don't flame Jay. I did that already. But it *was* his fault.
Sorry this wasn't erotic. No rousing orgasmic conclusions. Maybe it
doesn't matter since ASB may never see it. Maybe it's good I don't
have an account. At least ASB is protected from the seamier side of
Nurse Jones,
twitching
in the
wind.
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