From: [email protected]
Subject: Nurse Jones on masturbation
Date: 10 Dec 91 17:34
From Nurse Jones,
There has been a thread on mothers teaching their offspring and farm
animals how to masturbate.
Nurse Jones has a different perspective. In fact, I have the NORMAL
perspective, you perverts. MY mother doesn't have any bodily functions
at all. She has never spoke about sex. Never one word. She never even
used the "S" word. My mother blushes if you say the word
"intersection."
My vicious old grandmother, God bless her wizened little soul, used to
take great delight in twisting the knife by telling my mother about
her wild life as a flapper. My mother was peculiarly vulnerable to
that, for some reason. Probably because she was kept in ignorance by
HER mother, the Other Grandmother.
That's the NORMAL way to handle your children: keep sex dirty. Which
of course it is. If it's done right.
If my mother were to write an autobiography, when it came to sex there
would be a series of asterisks, and after a suitable period a baby
would appear. Without actually being born.
So when sex finally reared it's, um, ugly head, and I began to suspect
it might not be so ugly after all, there was no wisdom or experience
to draw upon. And then I lost it under such depressing circumstances
that I decided to go back to being a virgin for the next four years.
If only I had had someone like Jay to deflower me. If only I had had
the wisdom to know what to look for. It could have been a wonderful
experience.
My one big regret.
Of course, self-diddling was pushed so far into the closet that I
never discussed it with anyone, not even other girls, until I met Jay
in my mid-twenties. But that only caused guilt and shame, which were
minor afflictions compared to the way I lost my virginity.
If _not_ being told all about masturbation could lead to the same kind
of negative experience, then I'm in favor of telling all.
It's when other people get involved that the problems arise. I was the
screwee. It was the screwer that made me miserable. Only under my
mother's careful turelage could the masturbatee be made miserable by
the masturbator. Under more normal circumstances, the young lady or
farm animal in question could be made miserable if her friends or
friends' families get involved.
If I had been comfortable with masturbation maybe I wouldn't have
rushed into my first experience with an oaf.
If anyone wants advice from someone who has been, but never had a
daughter, it is this: talk to her about it. Get comfortable on the
subject. Ask her if she wants a vibrator. Help her to think carefully
about the way she wants to lose her virginity. As I look back, my
first choice would have been:
(1) for the perfect sensitive prince charming. They don't exist at
that age.
(2) Second choice: a carefully and wisely chosen sensitive older man.
Someone like Jay is now (rather than an oafish and over-eager near-
virgin). Very difficult to do. [not that Jay is old, but he's now
experienced enough to have played that role for me at the time I was
in my late teens.]
(3) third choice: mother takes me to Toys for Twats and teaches me to
play, and maybe I learn enough about my body to enjoy my first
experience even though the man makes no effort to make it enjoyable.
(4) Last choice: the way I did it.
I'm not qualified to offer advice on what to do, only on what not to
do. I know this much: If Rosie is able to talk about masturbation with
her kids, then they have a better chance than I did. If she can even
say the "M" word, she will do a better job than my mother did.
If she's that close to her kids, then she has to be careful. My mother
didn't have to be careful because she wasn't able to be that close.
I'm sure that was convenient for her. She arranged her entire life so
that she didn't actually need to be present.
If Rosie's not that close to her kids, she can only make things better
by trying to be. Having to be more careful is the price she will have
to pay.
Learning all this stuff is a bit like playing the violin in public and
learning the instrument as you go along. I'm sure we're all grateful
for Mr. Bagnor's lessons.
I'll sign off now, because, unlike Mr. Bagnor, I've had just about all
I can take of myself.
Nurse Jones,
who probably would never even have
discovered masturbation
if it hadn't been nearby, convenient, and,
well...
centrally located.
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