1. In a Beijing hotel lobby: "The lift is being fixed for next day.During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."
2. In a Shanghai hotel elevator: "Please leave your values at the front desk."
3. In a Hangzhou hotel: "The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid."
4. In a Jilin hotel: "You are very invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."
5. In a Wuxi dry cleaner "Please drop your trousers here for best results."
6. Outside a Tianjin clothing shop: "Order your summer suits quick. Because of big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."
7. In a Xian tailor shop: "Ladies may have a fit upstairs."
8. In a Guilin hotel: "Because of impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose."
9. An ad by Kunming dentist: "Teeth extracted by the latest methodists."
10. In a Hangzhou zoo: "Please do not feed animals. If you have suitable food give it to the guard on duty."
11. From a karaoke bar song list inSuzhou: "I'd Like to Teach the Wound to Sing; What Kind of Foot Am I."
12. In a Taiyuan bar: "Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts."
13. Hainan airline ticket office: "We take your bags and send them to all directions."
14. In a Huashan temple: "It is forbidden to enter a woman. Even a foreigner if dressed as a man."
15. In a restaurant menu in Harbin: "Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion."