Pinocchio's human girlfriend has been complaining about getting splinters while they're having sex.
Pinocchio therefore goes to visit Gepetto to see if his carpenter dad could help. Gepetto suggests the wooden boy try a little sandpaper. Pinoy skips away, enlightened.
A couple of weeks later, Gepetto sees Pinocchio bouncing happily through town. He asks, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replies, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
-Courtesy of 4eyedgekko
