Dear KJ of Dunstable,
You first need to tell your dad exactly what happened to his prizewinning dahlias, that hazy afternoon in June. Only then can you be sure the coast will be clear to tell the truth about your boyfriend's chicken habit. While I can understand that you fear for your physical well-being, do bear in mind that your best mate is a brainless wonder who wouldn't notice "goings-on" if they hogged the bathroom all day and filled her kitchen cupboards with cement. What's more, don't worry two hoots about the labrador: you can be sure it was sleeping with your gran all along.
Dear DV of Newmarket, Dear me, females are confusing creatures are they not?! And at your age it is easy to become confused between timid signals of affection and downright abuse, I know, I've been there. But let me assure you, this girl obviously loves you very deeply indeed. She is so blinded by her emotions that she is incapable of demonstrating how she feels. You must ask her out immediately. The best way is to wait until you are both with several friends, so that there are plenty of reliable witnesses. Say it loudly and clearly, preferably positioning yourself on a box or stool so everyone else in the playground can see you. If she is too shy to do anything other than insult you, perhaps by laughing, or punching you in the face, then this is your cue to kiss her. Make sure your lips cover both her mouth and her nose, as this is the way that girls like it best. Good luck!
Dear AM of Market Deeping,
It's behind the sofa.