Movies I have seen in October 2001
John Carpenter's Vampires
*1/2Yeppers, its Halloween time so I got to see some scary movies! In this one one a secret bunch of Catholic Vampire hunters are on the trail of a master vampire who is seven hundred years old and mighty powerful. Lots of blood and exploding vampires! What more could I want? How about a little decent acting and a storyline which might hold my interest. Well, heck, I guess this one wasn't ALL that bad. See it if you like vampire flicks, otherwise it might not be too bad of an idea to keep a distance.
See review by James Beradinelli
The Closer You Get
**A small town in Ireland and the local youth decide they need some female company. They place an add for young American women and the local women get bent out of shape. All of this leads to comic results. I really like movies filmed in Ireland, and this one is no exception. The scenery is beautiful and the lifestyle attractive. But, in spite of all of that, this movie remains slow paced and non-inventive. See it if you have some time on your hands.
See review by Roger Ebert
Teenage Caveman
*1/2After about ten minutes of watching this movie I thought I was in for a treat. It looked good, it looked fresh and original, it looked like something I had never really seen in a movie. But it quickly fell into cheap gratuitous sex and violence. With this it sadly looked liked many hundreds of movies I have seen. What a shame. Its the future and after some sort of disaster humans are living in caves. A group of teenagers leave the cave and encounter a city. Something one of them has read about in books. And in the city there are a couple of very strange teenagers. Something very wrong. In a perverse way, this movie was a typical "scare the teens away from anything sexual or drug related." Wrapped in look teens might find appealing, it nonetheless only reaffirms typical establishment myopia. Avoid it. Especially if you are a teenager. Just more preaching.
Small Time Crooks
**Woody Allen plays a not-too-smart crook who loves what he does. In a poorly planned, yet elaborate scheme to tunnel under a store and rob a bank, his wife becomes a national sensation with her cookie recipe. The two suddenly find themselves rich beyond their wildest dreams. Yet, fortune is not what they anticipated. This is an old-style Woody Allen comedy. There are some really good one liners in here, yet for some reason the movie falls flat. It just doesn't have a spark. The characters are strangely flat. Still, I recommend it!
See review by James Beradinelli
Earth vs The Spider
***When I was a kid in the early 60"s I went through a stage where I inhaled monster movies. I loved them. All those cheesy movies with titles like "Attack of the Cat Woman." This movie made me think of them. Its look, its feel, its storyline were definately borrowed from those golden oldies. And therefore I liked it. Its not a great movie. Maybe only people like me will like it, I don't know. The story-A meek and good hearted security guard, tired of being bullied takes a shot of some chemical in a secret lab that is genetically altering spiders. He slowly becomes a human-spider. There were a couple creepy moments in this movie. Still, its more of a trip down memory lane than it is a good movie, but hey, who cares-it was fun. See it!
Red Planet
*1/2 This movie got fairly good in its later stages. Man, it started out poorly. It looked fake and the actor's lines seemed forced and unreal. I got the distinct impression that they were not enjoying making this movie. There was some pretty good video, especially while on Mars. But Crap out ending-poor acting, forced special effects left me wanting. Oh yeah, the story-A group of astronauts heads for Mars. It seem the Earth's environment has gotten so bad that they need this planet to save mankind (why anyone would want to do THAT is beyond me). An accident occurs and astronauts are stranded on Mars. Really, if you have any taste in movies at all avoid this one. Slow, unreal, dismal robot, poor story crap out end. MISS IT!
See review by James Berardinelly
The Suburbans
*1/2A cheeky one hit 1980's wonder is offered a contract for a comeback by a big record company. What happens is supposed to be very funny, since these guys are now regular guys. The problem with this movie is that these guys are so regular that they offered nothing compelling. I really didn't care about what happened to any of them. I think I laughed once, but in retrospect it may have been intestinal gas. Thats about all I got from this movie. Not recommended.
See review by Ernest Hardy
Terror Firmer
*Wow-what a parody! The subject here is overkill in horror movies. And the makers of this movie have done a parody of it all-lets see, feces, vomit, snot, menstral blood, decapitation, dismemberment, squashed heads, you name it-if its gory its in here. The effects are comically(?) overdone, but still leave you sickened. The story (oh yeah, there is a little bit of a story amongst all the blood)-A blind independent movie director make is making a movie (the plot of which I never did get) while a female(?) (actually a hermaphrodite) serial killer is making the rounds. This is a WEIRD movie. I cannot recommend it to anyone. Unfortunately is is ruined by its own excess. Oh yeah, and bring a strong stomach to this one. You will need it.
See review by Chainsaw Yak
Tigerland
***1/2 September 1971-AIT in Louisiana. This movie brought back a lot of memories for me. A malcontent trainee just done with basic training enters grunt AIT. He makes friends and he makes enemies because of his attitude. The Sergeants hate him but can't break him. This movie really caught the late Vietnam military well. Morale was bad, the public didn't support it's soldiers. It was a confusing time. The situations in this movie were pretty realistic. In fact, there are some moments here on which this may have been the most realistic Army movie I have ever seen. It is very true to its time period. I highly recommend this movie!
See review at Film.com
See Apollogiude.com review
Meet the Parents
***This was a funny movie. A young man planning to marry a young woman travels with her to meet her family. This is an awkward situation for anyone, and I am sure that just about everybody has been through it. In this movie, hilarious hyperbole takes place. The father is a retired CIA man who instantly dislikes all of his daughters boyfriends. An escalating series of mistakes digs the young man deeper and deeper into the father's ire. I liked this movie a lot and would have rated it higher if it only ended a bit more realistically. Really, there was nothing in the movie to indicate the father would change his behavior the way he did. Hence, I gave it three stars. SEE IT!
See review by James Berardinelli
Stephen King's The Night Flier
*A vampire is flying a black Cesna and landing at little airports where he does his evil deeds. Two tabloid reporters fight over the story, which they are convinced, will bring them fame. A decent story line can be found here. Spooky atmosphere. Unfortunately, its laced with the usual blood and gore and hackneyed acting. As a rssult I see no reason whatsoever to recommend this movies.
See review by Richard Taylor
Laura
***Otto Preminger directed. 1940's movie, a detective becomes enamored with a murdered woman's portrait. But it turns out she is still alive, and two romantic interestds are suspects in the murder of the person mistaken for her. The detective falls in love with Laura. This was a pretty good movie. I especially thought the ending was very dynamic. The black and white photography remains something I like. SEE IT!
See review by Tim Dirks
The Haunting
1/2 I think this movie might be symptomatic of everything that is wrong with Hollywood today. Loosely based on a book I loved-The Haunting of Hill House, a fine, suspensful movie based on it was made in the late 50's. It had real good subtle horror, psychological tension and a fine interplay between it's characters. There is none of that in the present version. Instead we have a convoluted plot, a screenplay that screams what it wants us to know (hey, Hollywood, don't you have any faith in the intelligence of your audiences any more?), shallow characters and special effects which are so verused that they lose any effectiveness they might have had. This movie really saddened me. It showed me just how low Hollywood will go for a buck. Let's see, an unethical sociologist tricks several people into thinking they are taking part in an insomnia study. Instead he is studying their fear. They are holed up an an outlandishly huge haunted house and the special effects start. Poorly conceived, poorly acted, poorly written and only loosely based on the story by Shirley Jackson. Man, to think I wasted two hours on this crap. Some of the special effects were good, perhaps, early in the movie. Nothing else to say but GET WITH IT HOLLYWOOD!
See review on ecritic
The Contender
**1/2A woman is selected as a vice-presidential nominee and goes through a rigorous confirmation at the hands of zealous conservatives. She is a woman of virtue, and this shines during the degrading process. The bad guys (funny how you can spot them nowadays, they smoke and eat red meat) get their commupence. Sounds pretty contrived but this wasn't all that bad of a movie. It had a believable atmosphere, and hey-we've seen enough of this on CNN that it has the feel of reality. Still, there are a lot of odd things going-for example, the presidents obsession with ordering food every time he has a meeting. See it if you have some time to waste, but if it is originality and thoughtfulness you want, avoid it.
See review by James Berardinelli