Once there was a girl who wanted larger breasts. So one day she 
went to see her doctor, Dr. Smith.  
Dr. Smith told her to rub her breasts and repeat the following: 
"SCOOBIE,DOOBIE,LOOBIE I WANT BIGGER BOOBIES".
One day she was running late and decided to do her exercises on
the bus when a guy came up to her and asked if she was a patient
of Dr. Smith's.  To which she replied: "Yes how did you know?".

He replied "HICKERY DICKERY DOC!"\n\n>-
Superman was doing a tour of the city one night when he sees 
Wonder Woman laying on a beach stark naked.  He thinks to 
himself, "Finally, after all these years, here's my chance with 
the woman of my dreams."  So, Superman zooms down, quickly does 
his thing and leaves.
The Wonder Woman, stunned and shocked, says, "What the heck was 
that?"

The Invisible Man goes, "I don't know, but my a** sure is sore!"\n\n>- 
When an optimist sees a half glass,
he says the glass is half full.
When a pessimist sees a half glass,
he says the glass is half empty.

When a Scotsman sees a half glass,
he says, "WAITER!"\n\n>-
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 
wedding anniversary. 
The husband decides to give his wife a gift, a tombstone, with 
the inscription: "Here lies my wife.....cold as ever" 
Later the furious wife bought a return present, a tombstone with
the inscription: 

"Here lies my husband.....stiff at last"\n\n>-