Written By: Geocrge A Brozak
Directed By: Cliff Bole
Rating: **1/2 (out of 5)
When Voyager discovers a wormhole leading to the Alpha Quadrant they also find a class-M planet that seems to have Alpha Quadrant technology on it, however the people are primitive. The wormhole is not fixed at the Delta Quadrant end and B�Elanna begins to lure the wormhole to Voyager so they can make it inside.
An away team to the planet finds the Ferengi� Arridor and Kol from TNG�s �The Price�, who went inside the Barzan wormhole, inexplicably play out events in a song of the primitive Takarans. �The Song of the Sages� says that the Sages will arrive on fire and of course, when the Ferengi shuttle crashed it created fire as they entered the atmosphere! Arridor and Kol use �magic,� or technology, to woo the population. So these people begin to worship the Ferengi whom soon turn into profit hungry people, like the Ferengi, but are being cheated out of their profits by their gods.
And it just so happens that Voyager runs into them�
Anyway, when Janeway finds out what is happening she wants to stop the two Ferengi, but it becomes a matter of the Prime Directive. Does Janeway have the right to interfere and if she does, the Takarans will have no gods and will have nothing left.
I agree that something would have to be done, although Janeway�s reasoning isn�t logical enough for Tuvok to agree so heartily. Janeway�s first plan is too convince the Ferengi to leave by sending a Ferengi-looking Neelix to the planet and pretends to be the Grand Nagus�s right hand man. This doesn�t work, but the next plan, which does work, is to play out the end of the song that just so happens to have the Sages leaving at the end. This was obvious from the beginning, but never mind.
Suffice to say the plan works and the Ferengi are transported to Voyager. The two stupid Ferengi are clever enough to escape however and in an attempt to get away from Voyager are sucked into the wormhole, destabilizing it, leaving Voyager behind.
I must say that Ethan Phillips makes a perfect Ferengi, well, maybe that�s a bad thing. The guest actors are overacted and not particularly good, and the main cast does nothing sensational either.
Apart from being let down by its main premise, �False Profits� also fault�s because it takes these events more seriously then is needed. The acting is over-acted, the story is � about the Ferengi, it doesn�t have any important or lasting effects, but it takes all this seriously? �False Profits� should�ve had more jokes and humor than it did and should�ve been more light-hearted.
Being what it is, I can�t really say much improvement is obvious in the story, making it light hearted would still result in partially enjoyable fluff, but I can bear it. If you�re really bored and not interested in anything meaningful than this is an episode for you.