| The Pariah Vs Captain Enigma Vs "ATM" Anton Madrox
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| Enter: The Springer- Revolution role-play #1 |
By Enigma and Daniel Darling |
| The Pariah Vs Captain Enigma Vs "ATM" Anton Madrox
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Win= 0 Loss= 0 Draw= 0 |
*IWA is opening its doors for the second time. Enigma has been sleeping rough most the time since Iwa has closed, he's been following the tour dates Iwa would of performed on if they had never closed, occasionally picking up one off Indy shows just to get food. The time spent roughing it has taken a toll on his mental health and the single outfit he owns. Luckily, he was one of the first to hear about the reopening of the Iwa so he proceeded to bombard Vinny till he argreed to take him back, and buy him new underwear. So, our tale starts here. It is one of mystery, romance, action and suspense! Well, maybe not, but it might be a little funny!* ? ? ?: Jesus! What the hell are you doing? *The camera switches on and pulls away from a close up of a black vest and backs all the way up to the wall. It can be seen that Dino Scarlo, one half of the first ever IWA tag team champions, The unusual Suspects, has just opened the locker room door to see Enigma stood on a chair forcing a bowler hat with eye holes cut out down onto Don Ochetti's head.* Dino: and why the hell are you wearing them glasses Enigma? Enigma: Fool, my name is not "Enigma". I am warrior of good, destroyer of evil, the guy who borrows money and some times gives it back, I am Captain Enigma! And this is my trusty side kick Don Enigma Jr. * Enigma hops of the chair and folds his arms as his cape floats down behind him, and Don Enigma Jr. folds his arms stands adjacent Enigma.* Enigma: We are the slightly demented, slightly heroic, totally insane super heroes known as..... The Enigmas! Ok, its a little crap but were in a hurry. My trusty sidekick we have a important duty to fulfil.... We are going on.... THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW! Up up and we walk out the door! * Enigma Stretches one arm out enthusiastically and runs out the door, Don Enigma Jr. follows him at a slightly slower speed, but with just as much enthusiasm, out of the door. Dino Scarlo looks around to make sure no-one had witnessed the bizarre events that had taken place, then he pulls out a cigar, sits down and reads the paper.*
Jerry Springer: Hello my legions of Springer fans! Tonight, our topic of our show is "Strange men who like to pretend there super heroes" and for once Springer fans, I Havant been banging the guests out back! Jerry Springer: Ok fight fans, heroes what you've been waiting for. This man claims to be a super hero with super hero powers, his name is Captain Enigma and Don Enigma Jr.! *The crowd cheer, but no-one comes out.* Jerry: umm... I said, his name is Captain Enigma! *Once again, know ones emerges. Springer, trying to save his show from a disaster, sends a camera back stage. The camera finally arrives out the back with Enigma hanging onto "Dave" the co-producers back, howling like a dying monkey and clawing at his eyes* Enigma: You ate my Mars bar you dirty whore! Now you will bleed by my almighty hands of justice! burn burn burn! * The security guard known as "Steve" grabs Enigma around the waist and pulls him off and backs away with Enigma's arms flailing* Dave: Arggg, my eyes, the little bastard rubbed salt in them! Enigma: That's not salt, that's my burning crystals of righteous judgement! Now Don Enigma Jr., we must be off, our adoring public awaits us! * Enigma squirms free of Steves grasp, places both hands upon his hips and struts out of the door with The Don in tow. The pair wonder out onto the set off Jerry Springer, Enigma runs and jumps onto the chair and strikes a dramatic pose and does a twirling jump of the chair and lands on his feet. One last dramatic pose, then he sits in his chair with his legs crossed over, and Don decides to sit on the arm of two chairs as he cant fit into a single one.* Jerry: So, Enigma, tell us about the time you discovered you were blessed with you super hero abilities. Enigma: Well Jerry, I first learned of my super hero powers roughly 26 and a half days ago. I was sleeping in my mobile home intirely made off cardboard, newspapers and pork rinds when some kids came up to my house and tried to set fire to it using some burnt out matches. So, I decided I would teach them a thing or two about matches by getting my "How Things Work" book and battering one of them about the head for a while. Well, needless to say, them kids must of noticed my superior knowledge of matches and got scared and ran off. I was going to give chase because I could see them across the road stood by a bin, but I noticed a delicious looking toad. I grabbed the toad and placed it upon my tongue and went back to my home. Just before I passed out due to the toxins the toad gave off, I laid down and placed by head on my bindle. I woke up somewhere in the region of 10 minutes-2 weeks later and noticed the same thing Moses saw in the desert. I saw a burning trashcan. I slowly walked over to it in a haze and crossed the road. As I got close to it I heard godly creatures screeching at me and a smell that reminded me of burning rubber. I was finally stood directly infront of it, then it began to speak to me! It said, in the voice of a dog, "bark bark growl bark" then a sharp pain dug into my testicles. I assumed that what the bin was trying to tell me is that I had been blessed with a godly power, one that no-one had seen before! So, from that day forth I would no longer be called President Clinton, but Captain Enigma! Jerry: Uhh yeah. Could you tell us a little of your first ever rescue? Enigma: Well, my first EVER rescue was truly amazing. I walked into a dog shelter and looked over to the counter and some guy was holding up the store! So, displaying my definite bravery, I walked up to the robber, stared him straight in the eye and said "You mind if I buy this dog? the shelter is putting him down tomorrow." and you know what that bastard said? " If you promise to go home and put some damn pants on". So that was my first ever heroic rescue. Jerry: I would generally make sarcastic comments about you making love to your sister her, but that big guy scares me. So ill skip right to the crowd questions! Crowd member#1: Have you ever slept with your sister? Enigma: No. Crowd Member #2: What are your super powers? Enigma: The power of irrational thought and the ability to predict things after they happen. Jerry: That does seem like much of a power. Infact, I doubt you've done anything heroic in you whole damned life! Enigma: You dare doubt me? Don Enigma Jr., handle the security im going to teach him to BELIEVE! * Don goes after the 2 guards left at the show, while Enigma dives on top of Springer. The two tussle for a little while, but Springer gets the upper hand. He sits on Enigma's chest.* Springer: No-one comes on my show and makes a mockery off me! *As Springer gloats to the camera, Enigma quickly headbutts Springer in the crutch, then jumps do his feet before dropping a knee directly to his balls.* * Enigma raise his arm's in victory only to be blindsided by a fat naked women covered in gravy. She picks him up and knocks him down the isle with a flabby, gravy covered fore arm.* Fat Women: I was gonna be on the show, but now im not and ah dont get mah gravy! * With one swift motion Enigma crawls behind the fat women as Don dives at her knocking her backwards over Enigma sending her rolling into the crowd.* Enigma: Im king of the world! ENIGMA'S FINAL THOUGHT Enigma: Alougth they may say they like you, they dont. Everyone hates you and your lives not worth living!
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