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DECEMBER 17TH 2002

*The camera cuts back to a local hospital in New York, where there was an action packed Revolution live from New York City where there was a hellacious match between Dino Scarlo and Austin Decree's. The camera looks into a room in the hospital and you can see Austin Decrees with stitches on his head sleeping. The door closes and the camera skips to the next room where smoke pours out of the room.*

Camera: What the hell!!!! Help Help, there's a fire, quick, someone is in there, man were all gonna die!!!!

*A doctor quickly runs over to him*

Doctor: *Coughs* Somebody call the fire brigade *Cough*, move back, im gonna get him out!!!

Camerman: Watch out man, you might get burnt or somethin!!

*The doctor grabs a quilt that a nurse gives him. He puts it over him and bangs the door down. The doctor drops the quilt and also drops his jaw in the process.*

Doctor: Nurse, Nurse, cancel that fire brigade!!

*The camera man picks up his camera, and goes into the smoke filled room to find Dino Scarlo lying on his bed with a beer can in one hand, and about 15 cigars lit up next to him. Dino is watching a local baseball game, while shouting the teams on.*

Doctor: What the helln is going on here, you read that frickin sign, it says, NO SMOKING, NO DRINKING and NO WATCHING TV after hours!!!!, and your breaking everyone of those rules you idiot!!!

Dino: Whoa Whoa Whoa, dont get all heavy about this, sit down, have a drink, watch the game with me. Wait a minute, if its a problem, then there is a way I can solve this.

Doctor: About time!

*Dino gets off his bed limping and walks over to the sign. He pulls the sign off the wall and tears it up. He throws the lose bits on the floor and lies back on his bed and grabs his cigar and takes a few drags of it.*

Doctor: You wait, you just wait, im calling the police, we cant have people like you wasting our time, and breaking rules, something has to be done!!

Dino: You know what, your right, something does have to be done, and I am gonna do it!!! Can you wait outside for a minute??

Doctor: I suppose, but you just wait, you wont get away with this behaviour, I make sure you aint leaving!!

*Dino points at the door and the doctor leaves followed by the camera man. He stands outside like a stranded fart and gets all stressed out!!*

Camera man: Whats up man, looks like your all constipated. Here, have this, I use it all the time, trust me, you will never shit like bricks ever again!!

Doctor: Will you shut up, I aint constipated, Im just a bit pissed off, this man is costing lives!!

*Dino shouts for him to come back in. The doctor rushes into the room, and demands who Dino was talking to on the phone.*

Doctor: Who the hell were you talking to Scarlo, I want answers???

Dino: Sit down and shut up you prick, or I might just bust a cap in your ass. I am just about to get all this sorted out, and then you wont have to deal with me again!!

Doctor: No No No!!!!! This aint your hospital, its mine, I want you to get out now!!

Dino: Well one of us will have to leave!!!!

*Out of nowhere a figure bursts into the room. The doctor turns round, screams and runs off. Dino sits there laughing his head off as he takes a few more drags of his cigar. The camera turns round to the figure and it is none other than.........*

CAPTAIN ENIGMA and his trusty sidekick, Don Enigma jr. At your service!!!! I told everyone that I can save there lives but noooo, no one would believe me would they, and look, I just saved yours, Im so proud, and didnt I say to everyone that I was psychic and that I hear the voices in my head!!

Dino: Enigma, you didnt hear voices, it was me, on the mobile. But you are right on some things, you did save my ass from being busted in jail, just if you werent ugly, I would be straight down the station!!!

CE: Me ugly!!! I aint ugly, Im handsome, I am loving, caring, and by the way girls, I have a huge penis!!!! and testicles!!!

*Don butts in*

Don: Well actually he has a small dick and very small testicles, but he is still my favourite superhero!!

* Dino looks horrified, confused and disgusted.*

Dino: Hang on a minute, how would Don know that you have small thingymajigs and a small you know......it doesnt matter, just get me out of this damn hospital bed, i wanna get back home, bang some ho's and party all night long!!

CE: Party, Party, your having a party!!!!! Well let me tell you something, me and Don can throw one hell of a party!!!!!

Dino: Well, maybe another night. But im still gonna bang some ho's. Before you say, no, I aint going out with any of your, half wit friends who have the IQ of a rat. I want some fit bitch who can take it all night long!!!

Captain Enigma: Ok, Ok, it seems that you have hurt me and me friend here's feelings. Enough of your talk, my cellphone tells me that Jerry Spinger is here and is waiting for the right moment to kick Captain Enigma's ass, it is time to put a stop to this villain once and for all, up up an...............ARGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

*Enigma gets dragged back all the way into the door by some wire on his back.*

CE: You moron, I didnt say w.........uhhhhh, uhhhhh I mean some villain is using his powers to drag me around, so ill just be leaving now, yeah, leaving.

*Enigma keeps on stepping back until he reaches the door. He disapears behind the door and shouts out his usual UP UP AND AWAY, and a huge Swoosh sound effect plays in the background. Dino just sits there still looking confused, as Don just leaves.*

December 18th 2002

*The crowd are still reeling from the screwing that Austin got along with Rossington the other night. They sit there for a while waiting until some superstar appears from the back. Gangstas Paradise hits the PA system and Dino Scarlo appears on the Titan Tron, along with a microphone in his hand. The crowd begin to boo as Dino begins to speak.*

Dino: Well Well Well. It seems like a lot of people here tonight are getting the small case of embarrasment. You were all saying that last Saturday, that there was no chance in hell that I could beat Austin Decrees. You were saying that I would be lying on my ass, defeated, and Austin will be rising high in victory. Well it seems that your plans, didnt really work out did they. I mean, im standing here victorious, while the doctors are still picking the splinters out of Austin's ass!!! Yeah, victory smells great, but that smell is getting a bit old at the moment for me. I mean, I am still practically undefeated. I am still the only ever person to be a double champion, and I am still the only person here, who will be ever worthy off the World Title. Though I must admit my concerns after my match. I saw on the TV that none other than the New God Corx has returned. And he seems to think he is the best in the business, well whoopdie fricking doo. Well Corx, if its gonna be me, you or any other jackasses in the final, there can only be one winner, and its gonna be me, Kapiche!!!

*The Crowd go nuts and boo the living hell out of him*

Dino: Go ahead, keep booing, you all know that I am still the best. Now onto the participants in the so called, Battle Royal. Firstly we have Judas Frost, and infact, no point wasting my breath on him. We have Cid. Well he did make an impact on Revolution. Well Cid, you will be making a huge step up to the big league pal, and we are just gonna send you boy right back down ha ha ha. We have Jay Burg. Know nothing so once again, I shall save my breath for my next opponent. Pariah. A man that says he can beat me, whereas infact, has never beat me in his thousand times trying. I just think that he is making a huge mistake stepping in that ring and I am gonna make it, lucky 1001 boy. You will never get as far as a spot for the TV Title, a title that I graced, and frankly, wasnt satisfying.

We have got Asylum. I have seen people in Insane Asylums with more sense than him. But that aint a bad things, I mean, I can go mad sometimes, and see where that has got me. I am gonna be the next champion of the world. But it will never work for Asylum, as he doesnt have the class to use his madness to his advantage.

We also got MWP and Anarchy Anth. But forget about them for a while, because I want to get on with my next participants. We got Krook, now known as JR!!! So whats up JR, cooking some more of your BBQ sauce, enjoying sticking it up people's asses. Well you gonna need more than BBQ sauce to step in the ring with me, your gonna need talent and testicles mly friend. I suppose you do have talent, I mean, you came close to being champ, but I reckon your missing the other vital components.

Also we have none other than that Hollywood jackass, Christian Matthews. Before the fed closed for a while, we were gonna have our match, and now it seems we are finally gonna get it. I cant wait. Then we can see who actually is the best in this damn business. Well, I know who the best in the businees is, but I wanna show you ass clowns who is the best!!

*Crowd Boo*

And we got the final three. ATM, Austin Decrees and the New God Corx!! Well ive beaten Austin Decrees, and if I have to do it again to win that damn title, then it seems that is exactly what I am gonna have to do. I thought Austin was supposed to be a great wrestler, supposed to be a man beast. He aint a beast, he is a frickin ant. I mean, Enigma, who is also in it by the way, is more of a beast than him. Actually, Ill leave Enigma to take care of him in the Battle Royal.

ATM, I have never fought him, and I must say, is the only wrestler on the list that I have seen being able to fight a real wrestling match. This is a man who will have my bestest damn respect going into this match. So ATM, we can fight the good fight, and hopefully, we will meet in the final and see who is the best wrestler in the business!!

And one final word on Corx. If you have got a problem with what I had to say about you earlier in the evening, then I am waiting out back here and you can come and tell me face to face, your problem with IWA's best ever wrestler, just look at the stats, Dino Scarlo!!! Oh yeah, and one more thing, have a very very, merry merry, happy Christmas!!!! Ho.......Ho........Where is my god damn HO!!!!!!

*Dino turns round angry as the titan tron goes blank. The crowd go beserk at what Dino had to say as the camera goes of the air, anticipating Revolution.*