Disclaimer: The Eagle-Shooting Heroes is a book. It’s copyright is owned by Louis Cha. I read the book in Chinese, but my fanfic’s in English!

Pairing: Red x Evil

Title: A Tail of Two Cats

 

Cats…

 

            It all started when they were telling stories of what had happened the last time they had gotten drunk. Sheng had tried to drag Glow off to get married at a priest, Jin declared he was in love and proposed marriage to the rest of the Seven, every single one, when he tried Evil Red drove him off with hairpins he had stolen from Glow…

            Glow knocked Sheng out and locked herself in a room safe from drunken males. Far made money peddling spilled wine, ran into the judge who ran the place, beat him up, tossed wine over him, escaped from the police, and… that was it.

            Ren chopped up all the furniture (wood) and sold it on the market. His gold coins later got stolen, no bets whom.

            Red and Evil kissed each other senseless for about five seconds before Jin ran into them. That was how Sheng knew they were in love… after some not-so-subtle hints, like ‘What you think you feel about Glow’ and ‘what you do to impress a girl’.

            “Oh! You two like each other that way!”

            “… Yes.” Red said.

            Sheng nodded.

 

            The next morning, Red woke up with a cat in his arms. It was a pretty cat, with… white eyes? Gray, smoky blue fur covered its body and in its mouth it carried a small metal stick with spikes at the ends.

            … No way.

            “Eldest brother?”

            The cat meowed pathetically. Red began stroking its ears as he tried to figure out exactly what happened.

           

            “Do you think this’ll work?” An unidentified voice asked.

            “Sure, it’s guaranteed to work, as long as they are already in love.”

            “If you say so…” Another added doubtfully.

            Potion. Cat potion. Potion that turns the user into a cat for a week.

 

            “Someone must have drugged the wine last night.” Red finally concluded. “Well, let’s go downstairs and see the others.”

            He personally suspected Glow. Did girls just like to play matchmaker? Was it some kind of gender-determinate skill? “Glow!”

            “What?” The female swordsman asked innocently.
            “You turned Evil into a cat didn’t you!”

            “So what if I did?”

            “Why in the seven hells?” Red asked incredulously. He was still holding the cat, draped over one shoulder.

            “To help your relationship along.”

            “… What?!”

            “Trust me, it’ll get him to lighten up, that’s for sure.”

            Red’s eyebrows shot up but he made no more comment. He ordered breakfast and spent the morning feeding tidbits of rice and chicken to Evil.

            It was okay until lunch when some man tried to pick up said cat and said cat attacked him and nearly gouged his eyes out with those really sharp claws.

            Hm. “Lighten up?”

            He personally wasn’t buying it. Red picked Evil back up and went back upstairs to the room.

            Now as long as no one who knew all of the Seven showed up they’d be good, otherwise it would be hard to explain _why_ their leader was gone.

            Oh, and also why they had a cat.

 

            “Evil, calm down!”

            Evil was trying to tear out Glow’s eyes, despite being blind and a cat. Red clutched him to his chest and began stroking his fur, despite the struggles. Eventually, the frantic movements ceased.

            Must not melt… Evil repeated to himself like a mantra, but it wasn’t working. Especially since Red just kept petting that spot that felt _so_ nice…

            He uncurled, and the anger faded away.

            “… Maybe it does work.” Red said quietly, now holding a perfectly calm cat that was purring like a locomotive.

            “Maybe? Of course it works!” Glow gave him a ‘V’ for victory.

            By now, Evil was too far gone to care about being melted. Felt nice… Zzzzz… Red picked up the sleeping cat and smiled.

            “Maybe you’re right.”

           

            The rest of the six days passed uneventfully enough.

            Evil woke up human, but great was his shock when he felt… furry. Fur. Something furry was lying on his chest!
            Reaching out carefully, he felt ears… a tail… a cat? “Red?”

            He got up and felt his way over to the bed where Red had been sleeping. Empty. Covers were unmade, so he should be back, right?

            But where had the cat come from?

            “Red?”

            There was no reply he could sense… he sat down on Red’s bed and waited for him to come back.

            After five minutes, he was sick of waiting. “Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven!” The rest of the Seven came running.

            “What is it eldest brother?”

            “Have you seen Red?”

            “No.” None of them was lying… that left only one option, loathe as he was to admit it…

 

            “Meow.”

            “Oh no! Now you’re a cat!”

            Evil found his way downstairs with Red in his arms, gripping the banister with one hand and his staff in the other, carefully. “Glow!” He slammed his staff into the ground, loudly.

            “What?”

            “Why did you turn him into cat?”

            “I figure that if you both experience it, it works better! I just drugged his wine, he didn’t have to drink it!”

            “…”

            He was startled when Red nestled into his chest more. Must make a cute cat… he did _not_ just think that.

            “Meow?”

            Well, he couldn’t let Red starve, so he ordered salmon and fed both of them. Without eyes, it was a bit difficult, but he managed.

            He needed a _human_ guide though…

            Jin was trying to be sympathetic, but it was just too funny.

            Red snuggled deeper into Evil’s chest, purring loudly. “Meow.” He burrowed underneath the blue and gray robes until he felt warm and nestled against Evil’s neck, purring.

            Evil sighed. “Oh well…”

            He didn’t think the seventh had an antidote. He just hoped she had no more potions… that would _suck_.

            Cats are rumored to have good eyes though… if anything carried over back to Red when he was human again, he hoped that did. After all, Red was his pair of eyes…

            It couldn’t be that bad…

            He ate by himself, carefully, Jin helped, and maybe he could live with it… the spell was only supposed to last a week, right?
            But it was hard to be angry when he had a purring cat in his arms. Maybe it helped with stress?

            All right, it was kind of nice…

 

            The next morning, a different commotion arose.

            “This potion is guaranteed to make any girl fall in love with you,” Glow was saying as she tried to hawk her wares to Far.

            Far did not look convinced.

            “Don’t you like anyone?”

            “I do, but I think she’s already spoken for…” Far sighed.

            “Nonsense! This will definitely win you her heart!”

            “How?”

            “Well, be nice to the cat and when the person becomes human again, the cat traits stay and they’ll like you.”

            “… Oh…”

            At that moment, Ren walked in, yawning.

            “Ren, do you like Glow?” Far asked in a stage whisper. Glow was not paying attention, busy arranging her bottle of potion.

            “… No…” After a long pause, Ren spoke.

            “Good.” Far said, before he flipped over Glow and splashed her with the potion. In an instant, he had a kitten. Pretty caramel fur…

            “Very cute,” Far agreed, as he put her on his shoulder and headed out to do business. Having a cat was surprisingly enriching…

            the more business, the more money! Excellent!

            Red yawned. Another cat? Hi.

            Red!

            Glow, is that you?
            Yes… my own plan backfired on me!

            What happened?

            I was trying to sell it to Far. But he said the girl he liked was already taken, so I said to use this potion to win her. The next thing I knew he splashed me! So now I’m a cat! I didn’t know he liked me!

            Are you falling for him?

            Er… he’s being very nice to me… and I like being petted.

            Interesting.

            What about you?

            I was already in love with Evil so it changes nothing, but you’re right. Evil is lightening up.

            Glad to help…

            Far picked up Glow and began caressing her ears. Glow purred. Red turned his attention back to Evil.

            Evil frowned as he walked back to his room. “Red, what did you do?”

            He felt inside his robes and pulled out a variety of jewelry and money. Red purred.

            “Should have known…” Thieving instincts do cross species after all… but they wouldn’t be able to trace him.

            Evil carefully sequestered it all in a box and locked it, before giving Red the key. All in all, it was very good…

            And so the week passed.

 

            When he woke up with a heavy weight on his chest next, Red was back to normal… well, except for the ears. And tail. Well, except that both of them were blushing but that wasn’t the point. Red hastily climbed off Evil, before frowning. What the…

            Ears?

            At least it helped his hearing, eyesight, and balance… valuable traits for a thief. He kept the tail hidden under his long robes.

            No one needed to know. No one needed to know…

            Far and Glow did get hooked up.

 

END OF THIS TAIL completed 9/11/04