I pushed you and you left.
You found another; I was bereft.
You let our friendship expire,
Except when you so desired.
When she was missing
I was a friend to you
As torturous as it was
I always remained true.
Then, I lost a piece of me
And needed you the most.
You turned your back and walked away.
Left me with a ghost.
When I needed a friend to come
You went to her when I had none.
In the midst of my despair
I stumbled across another's lair.
A former acquaintance who was
More anguished than I was aware.
His words and poetry astounded me
Awakened a part, long dead set free.
I wrote him with hope, but in doubt of reply
To my surprise he wrote back, I'm not sure why.
Our talks became a source
Of pure inspiration.
My mind had been dulled
Until these new sensations.
In the midst of this new found friend.
You came back to me at your end.
Somehow I knew you two wouldn't work out.
Yet, you kept on pretending there was no doubt.
I felt a new feeling
It was anger at you.
Hurt too many times
To let us start anew.
But also, in my new friend
My feelings did deepen.
I longed to hear his poetry
Written about love again.
However, time has shown
He could never love me so.
I painfully encourage him
Back where his love still flows.
He's an incredible influence
On my ways of life.
Insightful and beautiful
A person bringing no strife.
So, torn I remain.
The first hoping to start again.
The second calling out another's name.
Copyright �Julie Holmes