Yachting Night Before Christmas
By “Captain’  Paul F. Woods

‘Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the yacht,
Not a shipmate was hurlin’,
Not even the cat.

Our swimsuits were hung on the bulkhead with care,
In hopes that our bodies soon would be bare.

The V-berth was full with folks havin’ fun,
“cause they knew the next mornin’ they’d remember not one.
My girl in her teddy and me in my thong,
We knew that tonight We’d soon get it on!

When out on the deck there came such a clatter,
Hit my head on the bulkhead, then slipped on the ladder
Away to the hatch, I scurried and slipped,
Stepped on the Kitten, and currently flipped!

The couple next slip was gaspin’ you know,
From the fun they were havin’ in the cabin below.

When, what to my bloodshot eyes should appear,
But a drunken old sailor wanting a beer.
His wit was still sharp, but like mine it was sick,
But when he got ripped, he turned into a prick.

Then faster than ever the sun it arose,
To help all the folks find all of their clothes ,
We moaned, and we groaned, and we counted our blessings,
‘Cause we knew in a little we’d be cleanin’ the messings.

Now, First mate, now Pilot, now Cookie and Bos’un,
Clean up your mess and the women stop hosin’!
On foredeck, on cockpit, in v-berth, and galley,
The fun last night seemed right up your alley!

To the top of the Masthead,
From the stern to the bow,
We get on this vessel,
To party, and How!

For drinks we suck down anything decent.
Our dinners are seafood, hopefully recent,
Then into the V-berth we go, hearts they’re a beatin’,
In hopes that our friends in there would be meetin’.

When then, in a twinkling, I heard in the bunk,
The sound of a fart, then the odor of funk.
As I drew in my breath, and was searchin’ for air,
Down went the First mate with a handful of hair.

She was dressed all in leather, from her boots to her top,
And her boobs were so big, I thought they would pop.
Her body all hot sweat ran down her back,
That hot Little Elf wanted sex in the sack.

Her eyes how they shimmered! Her whip made me merry!
Her cheeks were like roses, her lips like a cherry!
Her tight little butt was covered in leather;
I noticed all this in spite of the weather;

The grip of the whip she held tight in her teeth,
And the cuffs she held out let me in on the treat;
She had a sweet face and a tight little belly,
Boobs shook when she laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.

She was horny and hot, and in spite of myself,
I partied ‘till dawn with that hot little elf;
The wink of her eye and I jumped her in bed,
She blew me so hard I went straight to her head;

She spoke not a word, but went straight to the bow,
And put me in handcuffs; then fucked me, and how;
While laying her finger aside of her hose,
And giving a knob, up the Captain she rode;

She sprang from the berth, to her man gave a token,
And away they all went, still hot from the pokin’.
But I heard her exclaim, ‘cause the night was sure tough,
"Merry Christmas to all, But once a Knight is enough."

Copyright December 2, 1999
by Paul F. Woods