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WEASEL MAGAZINE

 

POWDERFINGER GOSSIP November 2001

Yep, it’s that time again! Our Weasel spies have been out and about ALL OVER the nation in the past month! They’ve been out gathering juicy info, so here’s what we’ve got……

Our resident dancing queen IAN HAUG was recently seen “strutting his stuff” near Festival Hall Brisbane, by a PFDB reg who shall remain nameless. “I saw him, he was strutting his stuff! He’s a bloody model I tell ya!” It’s rumoured that Mr. Haug is considering signing a contract with Dimmey’s & Forges and leaving the band to pursue his life long dream of becoming a catwalk superstar!

BERNARD FANNING, well known for his not so good academic record, is rumoured to be starting up a ‘cheat website’! Students pay a small fee of $25.95 and in return Bernard ‘King of plagiarism’ Fanning, “writes” you a top grade essay!! Go get em kids!!

JONATHAN COGHILL, resident smartarse and bottom flasher was recently in a well known park in Melbourne. He was talking to trees and signing what he thought were CD covers but were actually leaves! (Hmm… Cogs, maybe you should keep wearing your glasses!!) When Weasel Magazine interviewed a close friend of the extraverted band member they told us that Cogsy has a rare disorder that involves him continually finding the need to talk to anybody or in his case anything!!

    The friend also said that it is a fairly harmless disorder, as it seems to please most of his fans.

DARREN ‘I’m a daddy’ MIDDLETON is rumoured to be joining the ARIA award winning childrens act HI-5! The story goes that the HI-5 group were so overwhelmed by Darrens “HI-5 moves” that he performed backstage at the ARIAS this year. They were heard saying that ‘they just have to have him!!” Members from HI-5 believe that DZ’s pixie looks and rockin rock moves will bring something special to the group…… Good luck DZ!!

Our favourite fisherman JOHN COLLINS was recently seen out and about in the sunny sea of brisvegas wearing a hideous pair of RED hibiscus shorts!! (eww) He has apparently fixed up his good ol’ yacht and he’s been on the high seas catching some rare brissy sea creatures (he’s a master with a rod!) yeah….. Some brissy residents tell us he has been selling these rarities to the local museum with plans of buying a nice big caravan to travel around Australia in when he retires. (oh yeah) 

Plans have been faltered, sources reveal, as Marky Mark McElligott (The most sort after sound engineer in all of Australia (oh by the way marky we’re expecting that check in the mail you bastard!!!)) recently found the stashed money in JC’s tackle box, and allegedly shouted the WHOLE Powderfinger crew to a round (or ten) at the pub. Nobody knows where this mysterious money came from……….

 

October's issue of PF Gossip

 

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