Iron Maiden has just released a new CD!Lets make fun of it!
Now don't get me wrong.I love Iron Maiden.I really do.I own all their albums and I enjoy thier music a great deal.Maiden fans are excited because Iron Maiden have just released their newest CD "Dance Of Death"!With a scary title like that metal fans are sure to purchase this.However,I look back and Maiden's other two albums with scary titles were major let-downs for most Maiden fans and those were called "No Prayer For The Dying" and "Fear Of The Dark".No Prayer For The Dying had terrible,terrible sound production and "Fear Of The Dark" has some awful,awful songwriting,but the nineties were not good for my Maiden boys and I have already written an article on THAT so let's get back to the new CD.
The new album is the second with returned legendary vocalist and very capable guitar player Adrian Smith.Let's do it track by track!Coz thats fun!
Track 1:Wildest Dreams.Hmm I don't not sure what's going on with this song.It's very upbeat and positive and was oddly chosen as the first single which I find odd since the song seem's pretty weak to me.With most of this CD I have found that the songs I have liked best have been the ones that didnt sound a whole lot like Maiden,becuase my musical tastes are changing and expanding,but even though this song dosen't sound like them I still find it pretty weak.I have heard the radio play it a couple of times so I suppose not everyone is underwhelmed by it.
Track 2:Rainmaker.Ah,now this is more like it.This too,could be a radio song but is so much better than "Wildest Dreams".The chorus here is great and the twin guitars are nice.I love rain weather so I really like this song.Dammit,nothing to make fun of here!
Track 3:No More Lies.Now here we have a song that just shovels dirt onto it's own grave.In the late nineties Maiden had a replacement vocalist named Blaze Bayley and this song sounds like a song they recorded with him,and like those songs with him it has a horribly redudant chorus.The chorus is this:"No More Lies!No More Lies!No more Lies!No More Lies!".Maiden's bass guitarist wrote this song and while he has written some wonderful Maiden tunes by himself,for the past few years his idea of a good chorus has been that he should write three words and Dickinson should sing them over and over again.No more lies!No more lies!No more lies!No more lies!See?Wasn't that annoying?The rest of the song is boring to me because I've heard Maiden do all this before in previous albums and since I've been listening to them since 1988 I'm starting to find the bands signature sound a little uninteresting.No more lies!No more lies!No more lies!
Track 4.Montesgur.Well this song start out with a riff that sounds almost exactly like a song from their previous album,"Fallen Angel".Now THAT song ruled.This one gets really weird.It's hard to explain in words but this song sounds like "Proud Pirate Music".You know,when you see an odd corny movie with pirates singing and dancing after a plunder?This song sounds like THAT!It's not ABOUT pirates,but by god,I can sooo see Dickinson with a wooden leg and an eye patch dancing while singing it!Arrr matey!We arr Iron Maiden!We metal pirates still play well past arrrrr prime!Arrr!File this under "The Assassin" and "The Angel and The Gambler" as "Iron Maiden songs that are great to make fun of".
Track 5.Dance Of Death.Ah,the title track.With the title track from any band you can almost bet on it being quality and this song is no different.Unlike most of these songs this one sounds a LOT LIKE IRON MAIDEN and I enjoy it a great deal.The lyrics remind me of the Number Of The Beast and like THAT song is it both corny and great!This is kind of like "The Nomad" from their last album,not as in the sense that it SOUNDS like that song,but in the sense you're listening to it for the first time thinking "This is the stupidest song I've ever heard!"and then you can't help but listen to it multiple times.I love it when these guys pull this off!Can you make fun of this song?Yes!But it's still a damn fine tune.
Track 6.Gates of Tommorow.Hmm,typical Maiden song.Pretty boring.I kind of like the chorus,it's catchy but dosen't make the song great.Let me look in the booklet for a lyric that will make us laugh.Damn,decent lyrics.Oh well,since I feel like I promised some laughter lets rehash a lyric from a previous album from the song "Run Silent,Run Deep".Here it goes,Bruce Dickinson himself thinks this is the worst line he ever wrote;"A cunning fox in the chickens lair/A hound of hell and the devil don't care!"
Track 7.New Frontier.Now here we have boring Maiden tune.It kind of sounds like a song from their first two albums(the two without Dickinson,god I love spelling his phallic name over and over again,that reminds me,I need to listen to some Judas Priest so I can hear some Rob Halford vocals.)which is almost kinda cool,but falls flat.
Track 8.Paschendale.Holy cow!Suddenly the album hits with a damn fine tune!I haven't heard Maiden's guitars sound this heavy and full of crunch and distortion since,well....never!The song goes from heavy to quiet,back and forth,but nonetheless it does not dissapoint!Also has great lyrics about a battle of World War I,it's kind of like the lyrics of "The Trooper" combined with the heavy style of Bruce Dickinson's solo album "The Chemical Wedding."Simply awesome.
Track 9.Face In The Sand.Egad!Maiden hits us with two quality songs in a row!This song and the one above I would say are the two "must hear" songs from this album.This song has Maiden sounding almost industrial and the lyrics about recent world events are sure to chill you.Brilliant.Nothing good for laughs here.
Track 10.Age Of Innocence.Meh.ALMOST works.Heavy verse riff is nice but overall song falls flat.We've heard angry bitter lyrics from metal bands ever since Sabbath started thinking them up and THESE are cliche.Nothing new here.Move along,move along.
Track 11.Journeyman.Now this is refreshing for Maiden,an entirely acoustic song but die hard fans don't like the departure and people in general seem to think the chorus of "I do what want and I say what I want and no one can take that away" is cheesy but I think it is easy to relate to and I like it.
And so ends our Journey through my opinions of the songs on the new Maiden CD.Overall I would say I like less than half the songs but the songs I do like I LOVE,and can only recommend this on account of THOSE songs,if you're a casual Maiden fan make a point to here "Pashendale" and "Face In The Sand".I thought their last album "Brave New World" was much stronger.
And now becuase we must laugh lets see the album cover!
Hahahahahahahahaha!Dance of Death!Get it?Oh man after the last album cover looking so cool I expected better,oh well,it is just a cover and we know better than to judge things by their cover but after we got the combination of consistently good artwork and music on their FIRST SEVEN ALBUMS I think we built up some unfair expectations.
Up The Irons!