The Life of a Pez Dispenser

I can remember the day somebody bought me.
I can remember like yesterday.
A man threw me in his basket,
and I, the dispenser of pez, was on my way.
I finally got to leave through that automatic door,
never again would I return to my aisle in that store.

I went on my first car ride that day,
and I arrived at my new home.
I was carried inside in a plastic bag,
and I thought I would never be alone.
I was unwrapped and handed to a little boy,
who treated me like I was his new favorite toy.

He tilted back my plastic head
with a smile on his face
He ate all my orange candies, my favorite,
at a steady pace.
He held on tightly to my yellow body with his little hand.
I would have been okay if if wasn't covered in abrasive sand.

For more than two years, I wasn't left alone.
Everyday the boy would take me off to school.
Sometimes the teacher would take me away, though,
because eating candy in class was against the rules.
I'd always get back to my boy by the time school ended,
If he had forgotten me, I would have been offended.

One day he came home with a new dispenser.
He didn't pick me up that day at all,
except to hand me to his little sister,
who threw me up against a wall.
After that she stepped on me and started chewing on my feet,
and everyone thought she was so innocent and sweet.

So, my boy had found another friend,
and decided to disown me.
I supposed I was his sister's now,
I thought I'd wait and see.
When I first arrived, I thought I'd be happy here,
but now it's almost too hard to bare.

I spent a month with that horrible girl,
and now look where I am.
My head is sitting in a drawer somewhere,
and my body's in a garbage can.
My feet are covered with teeth marks.
I'm surprised that girl doesn't bark.

Garbage day will come really soon,
and my fate will be set.
I'll never meet up with my head again,
how much do you wanna bet?
I'm starting now to get sort of scared.
Who would have thought that a pez dispenser cared?