1. What did you eat for breakfast today? Total cereal with blueberries. Lorne Michael's told me blueberries are healthy. But I'm lucky if I'm up for breakfast. I usually wake up in the afternoon.
2. What was the worst job you've ever had? I valet-parked for two weeks in college. That was probably the worst, because I didn't know how to drive a stick shift. I would have to say, "OK, sir, have a nice time" and then I would have to wait for another kid to come and move the car.
3. Tell us about your first kiss. It was great. It was at a roller-skating dance in fifth grade with Megan McCoy. We had it all planned out. Everyone knew that we were going to do it. I was a very nervous kid. I was always overthinking everything. I thought, Wow, this is all going to go down. We met around the side of the building and kissed. Then we ran into our parents' cars and went home. It was very innocent.
4. Were you a good dancer? I never really danced or rollerskated at parties. I would just hang our for the music. I kinda sat around with my punch and my hairsprayed hair and my skinny neon tie and my zipper pants. I'd like to be able to dance. I'm a pretty bad dancer. I mean, I don't want to do the club MTV dance. I wouldn't go out there and make a big scene-like, here comes the dancing Elmo.
5. Tell us about The Bathroom Wall, your first CD. It's about where I went to school, the College of St. Rose in Albany, New York - the dorms, shower baskets, walk of shame, hot plates and little fridges...we did disco, R&B, rap, punk, rock and country. The first half of the album is songs and the second half is stand-up. I wrote the songs, Idiot Boyfriend, (I can't play)basketball, and drinking in the woods, with my best friend from high school. I play guitar and harmonica on the record.
6. What were you like at 17? That's when I started to do stand-up. I wasn't a jock. I suck at basketball but I tried out for the team. I didn't make it so I ended up joining the golf team. I didn't know how to play: I joined just to learn. I was a decent student. I could have been better, but I didn't want to focus on that. I was really into music. I was a big fan of Paul McCartney's solo stuff. I also listened to Twisted Sister - maybe not when I was 17; when I was younger.
7. Did you know you wanted to be a comedian? It was totally just a hobby. My parents never pressured me into doing anything. I thought I was going to either be a computer programmer or a mailman. I even took the postal test.
8. Are you the funniest member of your family? My family is definitely funnier than I am. My mom, dad, and sister are crazy people. They're really cool to hang with. I'm really close to my grandparents too. They're all just entertainers. My grandma would tap-dance in hte kitchen because it had linoleum floors. We taught her how to moonwalk. We would coax her into it - I mean, she wasn't the big hammy grandma like, "Hey, I'm old and I can do the moonwalk."
9. Decribe your worst date. It's sad, but I don't really date that much. I've been on maybe six dates, tops. I've never really had money to go out to dinner, so on a date, I would probably end up at the movies. I took one girl to see Groundhog Day and that was my big date. She was like, "What the hell is this?" But I was happy because it was a great movie.
10. Who is your celebrity crush? Are you dating Winona Ryder? Uh-oh. I don't want to tell you my celebrity crush. Oh, Ok. It's Lizzie McGuire (Hilary Duff). She's the coolest girl ever. Everything she wears is so colorful. I wouldn't date her - she's too young - but I watch her every Saturday. And no, I'm not going out with Winona Ryder. I wish I were going out with her.
11. Do you collect anything? I collect Twilight Zone DVD's. I'm really into the show right now. I hate science fiction, but I like the way the Twilight Zone stories are written - they're just scary.
12. Doing a live show must be scary. HOw do you deal with it? It's the most nerve-racking thing ever because you're running around and putting on mustaches and wigs. People are yelling, "Twenty seconds to go, twenty seconds to go!" and you're standing in front of an audience and cameras that look like huge robots. Then the red light goes on and it means you're on TV and all these people are watching. I can't explain the feeling. It's the greatest thing in the world doing Saturday Night Live.
13. Do you get to see a lot of great music on SNL? Yeah, I get spoiled. I got to see U2 rehearse. Bono is great, man. That was the coolest thing I got to watch - well, him and Mick Jagger.
14. When did you last cry? I think when Will Ferrell left the show. Everyone was kind of crying. It was a sad moment. But mine were tears of joy - I was happy I was getting his dressing room. Just kidding!
15. How do you like to spend your free time? I listen to music. I just splurged and bought this kick-ass stereo. I'm really into my iPod. It's like a portable jukebox. I have about 2000 songs on it. Right now I'm into Leonard Cohen and Syd Barrett, original lead singer of Pink Floyd. I also love greatest-hits records.
16. Have you ever read a self-help book and acted on its advice? Every book I read is self-help. I believe everything I read. I read Harry Potter and I believed that. I love books. The last one I read was A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket. It's a kid's book.
17. What's your pet peeve? I don't use the word peeve. My pet peeve is probably that I hate the word peeve. It sounds dirty.
