Our next guest is in his second season on the popular television show Saturday Night Live. Here's Jimmy Fallon- Jimmy! It's nice to meet you.
J: Its nice to meet you too.
L: First of all, thank you very much for getting all fixed up for the show.
J: You're welcome.
L: So this is your second year on Saturday Night Live?
J: Yeah
L: It's like a dream come true, isn't it?
J: It's something that's so wierd, you know? It's like one of those fairy tale stories. Like if I throw a coin into a fountain, or cut a birthday cake, I always wanted to be on Saturday Night Live, my whole life. And then it happened. Wow, I can't believe it happened to me, you know? It's crazy.
L: So, how does it happen? I assume there's an audition, or somebody sees you?
J: Yeah, I finally got the audition, then they flew me down to New York.
L: Oh where are you from?
J: I'm actually from upstate New York, Saugerties?
L: Oh that's where the rest home is! (they was a joke about a rest home in upstate New York earlier on the show)
J: Yeah, the rest home is up there! I hope they're watching it tonight. They're taping it, but they'll see it.
L: They've got everyone hooked up to the clapper.
J: Yeah, so they flew me up to the audition. I'm sitting there ready to go on, and Lornes there. It's in the actual studio, where legendart monologues have been done. Steve Martin and...
L: It's at NBC? It's the studio?
J: Yeah, 8H.
L: Historic television.
J: Historic, thank you.
L: Before that it was a radio facility, it just goes back and back and back.
J: Yeah, so we're there and I'm ready to go in there, and they go, "Jimmy, sorry, this guy Matt is goiing to go on before you, hope you don't mind." I said, "no, that's fine." "He's gonna audition." I said. "Well okay." So Matt goes by, he's got a box of wigs and a keyboard.
L: You're thinking you're dead!
J: How am I gonna follow that? I don't have a wig and a keyboard!
L: Look out!
J: I'm thinking, "What am I going to do?"
L: Musical hairpiece!
J: Yeah, I was like, "I'm gonna see some crazy bit." So anyway I did it, and I got the show.
L: Do you remember what you did at the audition that they really liked?
J: I remember I did an Adam Sandler impersonation, and he didn't expect that. They said, "Lorne's not gonna laugh", and he was sitting there and I did Adam Sandler, and he started laughing. I remember seeing him kind of put his head in his hands, I was like "Wow!" It was a Wonder Years moment.
L: So, Adam Sandler was there when you did the impression, or just Lorne Michaels was there?
J: Just Lorne Michaels was there. Adam Sandler wasn't there.
L: Lorne of course, full of white wine.
J: Well it was in the middle of the day, I don't...
L: Sure, whenever you see a picture of the guy- (impersonating Lorne) I created the show. (sips fake wine) I don't care what Ebersol says.
J: At least it wasn't a beer can or anything.
L: It was a little prop. Now, do you have any impressions you'd like to show us, do you mind doing one?
J: I could do one. I'll do a little Sandler. (in his Sandler voice) Abbie, whooo, whooo abbie dooby
L: That's pretty good!
J: Thanks, thanks man.
L: What else do you do on the show? What other impressions?
J: I do a bunch of impressions on the show. A couple of weeks ago for the premiere, I did Seinfeld with Seinfeld. We had a point/counterpoint.
L: Yeah, lets see a little Seinfeld.
J: Alright, we were talking about the Gap, and he's like, (doing Seinfeld) "What's the deal with the Gap? I go there, what's with these drawsting pants? Where am I going, a clambake? What's goin on? I love the Gap!"
L: Say I think Jerry IS going to a clambake, isn't he?
J: Is he? He was a nice guy, a good sport to do that.
L: Yeah, so you started performing doing stand-up comedy? I 'm taking a shot here, is that your background?
J: Yeah, this is so cool, actually I'm doing colleges. Now that I'm on the show, a couple of people know me. A small crowd, but it's still fun. I went to one of those colleges last week and they put me in an on-campus apartment. I go in there, and you know what it was? A dorm! I had roomates! I'm sleeping and these two guys come in with baseball hats. They said, "I'm Duck, and this is Sully. Can we borrow your hotplate?"
L: On-campus apartments! Oh my God!
J: Yeah, so I got out of there quick.
L: Where do you live now? I know you moved recently, right?
J: Yeah, I'm actually up here now. I live up here right by 50th and Broadway. It's beautiful.
L: How is it going?
J: Oh I love it. It's awesome. Everyone thinks New York is dangerous, but it's not THAT bad. I'm just pretty paranoid. Well it's probably gonna be dangerous if everyone keeps telling you it's dangerous. I get pretty scared when I walk down the street. I saw some kid with a water gun.
L: Like a little squirt thing?
J: Well, they've changed water guns, it's the craziest thing! I remember it used to be this clear plastic thing. (Makes a fake gun and does some squirting noises) you know? Dad's having a BBQ or something. (squirt squirt) Gotta go refill!
L: Two squirts and you're done! It always leaked from somewhere.
J: Exactly! Put it in the sink, three bubbles- it's full! Now kits are coming out with water guns like- (stands up, pretends to load a giant gun, and sprays it uncontrollably like a huge firehose!) What are you, you just blew my shirt off! What's going on? Put the fire out!!
L: That's no good!
J: A kid's walking around, he's got a 50 gallon tank on his back (does a little kid voice) I can't see, am I hitting anybody?
L: You've got this book here, I know you wrote this with your sister, is that right? (holds up copy of I Hate This Place: A Pessimist's Guide to Life)
J: Yeah, me and my sister wrote that.
L: What a nice project.
J: It was really cool, we- Oh, that's nice, a nice product shot.
L: Yeah, I'm holding it up, is that...?
J: I thought you were just holding it.
L: Well I am holding it.
J: Well it's nice. Isn't that a cool cover.
L: Yeah it looks good.
J: Yeah, oh you don't have to do that. It's too much, seriously
L: Alright, I'll put it down. You seemed kind of disturbed by it actually.
J: Oh really? Well you were just standing there like this, and I thought gee, well...
L: Well, what's in the book? It's just a compilation of thoughts of your life shared by you and your sister. Your sister used to fax these thoughts back and forth across the country?
J: Yeah we e-mailed. I was in LA at the Improv trying to be a comedian.
L: She was in Boston.
J: And she was in, Boston... are you psychic?
L: They don't give these shows to chimps, my friend!
J: You do your homework, man!
L: Yeah, a pleasure meeting you. So me a favor, come back again.
J: Alright I will.
L: Thank you very much. Jimmy Fallon, ladies and gentlemen
Letterman Transcript #2
Our first guest just completed his third season on the very popular Saturday Night Live program and tomorrow night he will be hosting the 2001 MTV Movie Awards. Here is Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy...
(Jimmy comes out)
L: How you doing?
J: I'm doing really good. Thanks for having me back I appreciate it.
L: Now, congratulations to you on three years of Saturday Night Live. That's pretty good isn't it?
J: Right. It's, It's a cool show to work on.
L: How long would you like to be on the show?
J: 3, 3 1/2
L: So midway through next season you're gone.
J: Nah, nah.. of course I'd stay on as long as they'd keep me on.
L: So tell me about this big MTV Movie Awards. That's like a big deal isn't it?
J: It's fun. It's fun. It's like hosting an awards show which you know what it's like.
L: Mine wasn't fun. I know what it's like and mine wasn't fun.
J: Yeah, MTV. I was watching you I though it was pretty fun. You gave me some good material.
L: Good.
J: MTV can bring up anything and they'll just do it. I said, "Why don't we do something and get line-dancing apes?"
L: Line-dancing apes?
J: Yeah and immediately they go "We'll call and get the apes." And I said, "Well don't you wanna think about it?"
L: So we'll see the apes?
J: Yeah, you will see the apes.
L: Are these actually apes?
J: No.
L: Guys in ape suits?
J: Yeah, there's a movie coming out and Tim Burton did the Planet of the Apes so it's a couple of humans dressed up as apes.
L: Have you yourself been in movies? Yes? No?
J: Kind of. That's the one wierd thing. I'm hosting the movie awards and I've been in one movie. I was in Almost Famous and you can't really tell it's me. I have a beard and glasses. I was in another movie, Father's Day with Robin Williams and Billy Crystal, but they out. They cut me out but they told me the day of the premiere.
L: And you had no idea?
J: It was a big deal. It was my first big break, I think I had maybe one line or maybe a lookover. Either way I was excited about it. And I was all ready and then I get a note from them saying that we had to cut your piece out, but I went anyway.
L: You went to the premiere anyway?
J: Yeah, I showed up and crashed the premiere.
L: Clearly they didn't want you there.
J: No I knnow, I think in there someone would say, "Oh I think he's in the movie. He's wearing a suit."
L: So did you walk in on the red carpet and all that nonsense?
J: Yeah and the photographer kinda put down the camera and reload the film. I wanted to see if they were gonna ask me any questions or anything like that but they were like, "When's Robin and Billy gonna getting here?" And you know like Robin get's there and he's just amazing. (doing Robin Williams) "yeah suddenly there's a kid sitting at home going 'yes hello' and a kid at home going 'no thank you very much' Yes you've got something on with the hair right there thank you."
L: That's pretty good.
J: Yeah.
L: Now, when we tune into the big awards... when we tune in who will we see? Who are the giant stars there?
J: Jim Carrey does a good thing and Ben Stiller and Adam Sandler helped me out. Snoop Doggy Dog did a bit. He's a funny guy, Snoop Doggy Dog. We're doing a piece as a spoof and the director goes, "Ok Snoop, when we cut to you, go behind the dashboard," and he goes, "Bizim sizim."
L: He says what?
J: He says 'Bizim sizim.'
L: Bizim sizim?
J: So I go, "did he just say Bizim sizim?" So I started laughing and I didn't want to get in trouble and waste film and all that.
L: What does that mean?
J: I guess it means ok.
L: It means ok.
J: So we did a couple of takes (starts laughing) We did a couple of takes and I started to understand him. So I said like and they said to improv with it. So I go, "Are you plizin?" He goes, "Never hizin, never wizin."
L: Ah wow.
J: Yeah, I got into it. What? We're on one ship, I go, "Are we in plizin or sizin?" He goes, "We're in plizin. Buckle your seat bizin, my nizim."
L: Well that's just silly.
J: Yeah, but we got along.
L: No sense whatsover. You know I'm youth-oriented. Are you aware of that?
J: Yeah, I heard that.
L: We have to do a commercial. We'll be right back with Jimmy Fallon.
*COMMERCIAL BREAK*
L: Jimmy Fallon everybody. Also, the Black Crowes. So what do you do in the summer? Do you work? Do you relax? Do you take time off?
J: I'm going to like 8,000 weddings this summer.
L: It's wedding season, isn't it?
J: Yeah, and all of my friends are getting married. It's like madness, I go to like, seriously, a wedding a week. I went to one last week.
L: Do you enjoy that or does it get...?
J: No, I don't really like it that much because everyone says, "Oh you're gonna meet someone there, maybe you'll meet someone." You know?
L: Oh, I never looked at it like that. Sure. You're not hittin on the bride, are you?
J: No, no. Plus, I know all these people already. I'm not gonna meet anybody, I know them. They have this DJ guy come in and they like have a reception, and they announce the wedding party, which again- I know these people already. They're bringing them out like it's a game or a sporting event. "First up weighing in at a combined weight of 385 lbs: the Mother and Father of the groom, Mr. and Mrs. Jackson." (gets up and does a run and wave thing)
L: You don't need that.
J: No, I don't need that. "Straight from coming out of the closet last night, give it up for the best man, gay cousin Neil." (does the wave thing again) "hey everybody." I just sit there.
L: Who cares. Now, when you were uh, I think maybe we chatted about this a little the last time you were here. When you began show business or stand-up comedy, what kind of thing did you do in your act? What was that like??
J: I did. I had a troll doll... like a bunch of...
L: Troll doll?
J: Yeah, with like the fuzzy hair and I'd like o a commercial for the doll.
L: Ah..
J: So I'd do in impression. "Welcome to the auditions for the commercial. First up, Mr. John Travolta." (in Travolta voice) "Hey swear to God, look at this hair, right? I mean, you got to use like some anti-frizz shampoo or something. I swear to God. It's crazy." Or I do like I was 16, so I'd do like Cliff Claven from Cheers, the mailman from Cheers.
L: Wow, rare-ified.
J: (doing Cliff) Take there Billy. Well the actual midget troll weighs 15/100.
D: wow!
J: Or I'd do Gilbert Godfried.
D: Gilbert Godfried.
J: (puts hand over an eye) "What is this thing? What kind of kid plays with something like this? They're so weird looking. I don't want to be around a kid that plays with something like this." Or something like that.
D: Very strong. Now you're doing the Weekend Update. Do you enjoy that?
J: Yeah it's cool. I never thought I'd do the news part of the show. I don't really read newspapers or stuff about the news. I told that to Lorne that I don't really know stuff about the news, but now I'm startin to learn everything. I've loved the show ever since I was a kid. Like me and my sister used to imitate the Wild and Crazy Guys and stuff, but we never knew what it meant. And we'd say, "We got to get to the Statue of Liberty to get the birth control devices." We were like 5 years old, we have no idea. My family, my mother and dad were like, "that's ok," but my grandparents were like, "should we call somebody?"
D: and how did you get on the show?
J: It was just madness. It's like I just kept working on my impressions and I figured, I used to always do Dana Carvey's impressions hoping Lorne would call some boy and Saugerties, NY. "Jimmy can you do Church Lady?" you know like that? But it never happened.
D: So you did his entire set of impressions?
J: I did everything he did.
D: So do something for us from Dana Carvey. He'll enjoy this.
J: Yeah. Actually, I could probably do a little Dana Carvey. (Dana's voice) "A, da, de, e, boo, boo, a da, da doo. Not gonna do it." I'd wait for that special to do it. He was my favorite. I used to imitate all the guys, that was my favorite thing to do. Just watch the show and memorize all the monologues and all that.
D: Do you make more movies?
J: Yeah, I'd love to make a movie, but you know everyone just wants you to do the comedies all the time because you're a comedian, but I'd like to do the serious stuff.
D: Really? You'd like to do some dramatic roles?
J: Yeah, I'd like to learn how to.
D: What kind of stuff?
J: I don't think it's gonna work, I did that Band of Brothers thing that Tom Hanks is doing with Steven Spielberg.
D: Really? Is that right?
J: Yeah, I have like four lines.
D: So, this could be the beginning of a whole different brand?
J: It's like I'm learning comedy on Saturday Night Live, so if I learn dramatic stuff with directors, then I'm like an unstoppable robot.
D: Right, but the dramatic stuff in film's not that difficult, just don't be funny.
J: Yeah?
D: You see how it works.
J: Yeah, I try not to do that.
D: How many lines did you have in the Tom Hanks movie?
J: I'd say about five lines. "We got ammo."
D: Wait'll we hear from the director on this one. "Don't come to the premiere."
J: Yeah, I didn't get the invitation so.
D: You don't make it again.
J: Yeah, I didn't even get the invitation yet.
D: So now they already taped the MTV Movie Awards, was it nuts?
J: It was madness.
D: So like who are the big winners? Can you tell us the big winners?
J: I think so. I think it's at the point where MTV is like, "Here you go."
D: "We don't care."
J: "We're giving you this." If you like it. The big thing was those Moulin Rouge girls like Christina Aguilera, Mya, Lil Kim, and Pink, thank you. And they're all in their underwear.
D: Oh my God, underwear. Oh wow!
(Jimmy gulps down whole glass of water)
D: That would build up a powerful thirst. Good to see you again.
J: Thanks for having me back.
D: Glad your career's going so good and thanks for wearing the suit. You look like a million bucks.
J: Thank you very much for the advice.
D: Little Jimmy Fallon, ladies and genlemen, We'll be right back with the Black Crowes.
