A really really good friend passed away yesterday morning. He was only 33. I feel numb because although he was ill, i didnt expect him to die! I thought he'd just go for his treatments and get better and i'd be able to call him up and we'd laugh and joke like we did before...but he's dead! DEAD! no longer alive. no longer exists. God i dont know how to deal with the fact that he's no longer alive.
I got flowers delivered to me today from an anonymous person. Whoever you are, thanks. I guess u must have read my gripefest!
Well, its the big day tomorrow. What do i have planned? Absolutely NADA! I'm spending it alone in bed feeling sick and miserable and sorry for myself. My last birthday i swore was the last one i'd spend alone...yeah right! I hate birthdays and holidays because it always reminds me how lonely life can be. I miss my daddy! boo-hoo! (oh goodness i guess i'm getting an attack of the birthday blues.)
Happy Birthday Times. I hope your day was blessed.
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