MUGGING

3 nicer old Ladies you couldn't wish to meet. Any one of them you would be proud to call Grandmother. But there I was at the police station, I'd come to represent them. They had been charged with 'actual bodily harm with a dangerous weapon'. I'm a solicitor and my name is Baxter, John Baxter.

This is an account of the events that led to my being there.

Joan & Nora had just collected Mary from the hospital. She had been mugged but wasn't badly hurt, just shaken up. The 3 friends settled down with a cup of tea back at Joan's house.

'What exactly happened? Mary enquired.

'Well .... It's still a bit hazy. I was walking along the road. I remember I was thinking what I could have for my tea, when suddenly a boy grabbed my handbag and tried to snatch it out of my hand. Well of course I tried to hang on to it. I lost my balance and fell over. Just look at my tights, they're ruined.

'Did they catch the boy?'

'No he got away.'

'If I could get my hands on him...' mused Mary.

'Do you remember when I was mugged 3 years ago' Nora said, interrupting. 'Well I knew my mugger but the police could do nothing as his friends and family gave him such a good alibi.'

'Mmmm! That gives me an idea. You're sure it was him?' Mary asked. Nora & Joan were now paying attention.

'Yes of course I'm sure. Why? What are you up to?'

'Well I just thought perhaps we could catch ourselves a mugger.'

'But I told you, the police could do nothing.'

'Ah yes! But if we catch him, red handed.'

'What do you mean?'

'If we set ourselves up to be mugged, then as he makes a grab for the money, we spray him with paint aerosols. Red paint aerosols.' They all laughed.

The plan was set. They waited outside the betting shop that they knew he frequented. The 3 of them armed with their paint cans.

'Here he comes!' Shouted Nora.

'Get the money out!' Instructed Mary. Nora made a big show of offering the money to Joan. 'Here's the �100 I owe you.' She said in a very loud voice.

But Nora's mugger paid no attention to them, he walked straight into the betting shop.

'Oh well! Better luck next...' she was cut off in mid sentence as a man shoved his way between them and grabbed the money.

'Get him!' They all shout at the same time as they whipped out their paint aerosols. Before he could take another step, the 'would be' mugger was blinded by red paint. He fell to the floor and the ladies showed him no mercy and continued to spray him until their paint ran out.

'What's goin' on 'ere?' Inquired a policeman. Then into his radio. 'Hey Sarge! Better send an ambulance to the betting shop in he High Street to take an injured man to hospital and a 'paddy wagon' for his 3 attackers.'

'Do you need 'back up' for the attackers?' Came the reply.

'No that won't be necessary Sarge.' He said trying to supress a laugh. 'It's 3 old ladies.'

So that brings us back to where I started. The ladies had just finished telling me their story, when the Sergeant came into the interview room.

'Well now I've seen everything.' He chortled. 'You ladies are free to go.'

'Have the charges been dropped against my clients?' I enquired.

'Yes! And not only that but I expect they will be in for a reward. It seems their 'victim' is a high-class jewel thief and he had �90,000 worth of stolen jewelry on him.'

'Well why did he want our �100?' asked Mary.

'It appears he had no cash and needed some money to get down to London to fence the gems.'

'How much will we get?' Asked Nora.

'Erm! 10% I expect. �9,000.' I replied.

'Hey!' Shouted Joan. 'That's �3,000 each. Who says crime doesn't pay.