REJECTION LETTER

by PETER � 1998


Regarding your manuscript.

After a quick browse through your pages, I found that it was exactly what I had been looking for.
I gave it to my sub editor to take it home and read over the weekend and for him to make a full report and a detailed analysis. Not that I needed one, I just wanted to spoil his weekend. The son of a bitch is after my job.

You exceeded my expectations. Not only did it spoil his weekend but it actually made him physically ill and he had to take the Monday off work. Well done.

You will have noticed that your manuscript has been returned to you in a small cardboard box. This is because it has been under the guillotine and is now in 4 quarters. You will further notice that at the top left-hand corner of each quarter, we have punched a hole. This is to facilitate you in the threading of a piece of string so that you can hang it in the lavatory. I�m sure you will feel better knowing that your manuscript can be put to a practical use and not just wasted.

It is not our policy to dissuade anyone from writing, quite the contrary. But we do feel that some people need guidance in subject matter. So the next time you feel the urge to sit at your typewriter, please restrict yourself to doing the shopping list. In that way, at least your grocer will appreciate reading it.

Yours sincerely

Editor.