However there was one "surprise visitor" dwelling among the guests, the biggest Green-Eyed Monster you've ever seen!
As soon as we arrived at the event I can honestly say I thought we were at a formal rather than a wedding, the bridesmaid looked so over the top it was hard to imagine what possessed her as she looked in the mirror that morning. There was about seventeen layers of makeup on her face, there was not one millimeter of her eye that wasn't covered in a garish shade of brown eyeshadow, and her lips were dripping with red lipstick - you know, the kind twelve year old girls wear that ends up all over their teeth (She resembled a badly made up vampire after feeding time!). The dress itself was so over the top she matched nobody else in the wedding party, I was disgusted for the sake of the bride!
The men's cravats were a burgundy colour but her dress was postbox red and to cap it all she had a tiara that would rival the monstrosity Jordan wore at her wedding. 'How did she get away with wearing that?' I hear you asking. Well she bought her own dress and being a big mad drunk she didn't care if it matched or anything, she also had a bouquet exactly the same as the bride's! It would put any girl off having a bridesmaid!
The dinner was lovely, everyone was having a laugh saying how good the food was and how disgusting the wine was, but the bridesmaid from hell knocked back as much of it as she could, she was pissed by the main course demanding compliments from the best man and the groom during the speeches. Her makeup smeared more with every passing minute to the point where she looked like a reject clown. Her outfit and terribly smeared makeup was screaming 'look at me look at me!' and Jesus you couldn't miss her! I mean when the photographs were being taken you would expect the bride to be smack bang in the centre of the shot, right? WRONG! 'look at me look at me' the bridesmaid from hell planted herself in the centre of the bench and didn't move her fat arse until the photographer (BASTARD PRO-TOGRAPHER - Pete) put away the camera.
The reception was the real kicker, she knocked back drink after drink after drink, later I found out she thought her sister was 'ugly' and shouldn't have been getting married before her! It was such divine retribution to see her fall on her big fat arse (narrowly missing the DJ's equpiment), I guess the only way to kill the green eyed monster is to cut her heart out, but it'll be a bit of a struggle trying to find something that isn't there!
