| TAKE A BOW AND GET LOST |
| Whether it's modern dance, theatre, opera, or almost any other live performance higher-browed than stand-up comedy, the performers ruin a decent show by ending it with an overblown production of bowing. The show ends, the curtain drops, the audience applauds. Then the bowing begins. The cast starts with the everyone-in-line-bowing-together bow. Then its the everyone-in-line-bowing-in-a-wave bow, sometimes twice. Everyone leaves, but that was a mere warm-up. The secondary players run back on stage and bow in pairs. The headliners run back on stage and take several bows each. Then the whole gang joins hands for another group bow. Done? Hell, no. The performers step back while guy who operates the lights, the theater hag who does sound effects, and the entire back-up band takes their bows. The second players step up for another turn, each doing his or her own personal tap dance, spin, or somersault to show the individuality lurking beneath the identical purple tights, and takes a few more bows. The main performers leap about some more, sucking up every last bit of adulation. I pray the bowing stops before my bladder bursts. When I rule the world, my first decree will be: "take one bow and get the fuck off the stage." |