| 1. The All-Commercial T.V. Channel. Granted, the Nielson ratings would be abysmal. So what? A television channel that showed commercials and infomercials 24-7-365 would be a profit-making machine. Whenever I mention this idea, people either get it right away or think it's the dumbest thing they've ever heard. The latter clearly have no sense of humor or sense of business. Let's face it: businesses devote far more creativity, humor, and sheer brilliance to their advertising that media companies do to t.v. programs. A 30-second Bud Light commercial can't waste a single expensive second, whereas a 22-minute sitcom wastes an entire half-hour delivering eyeballs to advertisers. Nielson ratings are stupid, anyway. Why do advertisers pay a premium for 18-34 year viewers? Not a scrap of research shows that these viewers are more likely to change their habits and brands. The Baby Boomers should be the premium viewers: they own all the disposable income. The best part: anyone watching the All Commercial Channel would actually be watching the ads. Eat that, Tivo. Links: AdCritic Clipland SongTitle: Music From TV Commercials |
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| 2. Wallaby Distributor. Kangaroos and wallabies make great pets: (a) they're placid, cuddly, and amusing (b) they're so darned cute! (c) they're edible (yes, I've eaten kangaroo pizza). The Kangaroo Conservation Center in Georgia has the largest collection of kangaroos outside of Australia, and the waiting-list for tours is months-long. At $1500 a pop, I could make a pouchload of money raising and selling these critters. |
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