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We decided to try our hands at limericks, hope you enjoy these! Who loved onions but filled up with gas... Here boyfriend said ....Flo, I love you, you know But I cannot get near you, alas! There was an inventor from Maine Who stood too close to a flame His shirt went Kaboom! So he ran round the room Then jumped in a sewerage drain. There was an old lady called Ella Who never could find her umbrella She went to the store And bought forty-four Which she keeps down below in the cellar! As I was going out one day I met a man with a donut-tray I kept behind him All the way And now I'm walking with a sway! There was a young lady called Pat Who always wore a big hat To cover her head Which was bald so they said But it really was hiding her cat! There was a young Russian called Ivan Who thought he would visit a drive-in His girfriend called Sue Went along with him too Now his family of three is quite thrivin'! There was an old man from Kildare Who didn't have very much hair His head got so cold - By his wife I was told - That he sat upside down on his chair! There was a young lady of Yore Whose feet were exceedingly sore She decided to sit And rest for a bit Missed the chair and went plunk on the floor!! There was a young fellow called Pete Exceedingly light on his feet He could twirl and prance To a very fast dance Now his legs and his body don't meet!! There once was a puppy named Boo Who loved to play with a shoe But she swallowed a lace And went blue in the face Now she's kept in a cage in the zoo! There was a young lady from Turkey Whose past was exceedingly murky She would dance for the guys While rolling her eyes And get them excited and perky!! Tis time for a Limerick from you Perhaps you could send one or two A flick of the pen Just five lines and then We'll giggle along if you do! There was a young sailor named Jim Whose eyes were exceedingly dim He walked on the pier But the edge got too near And alas and alack -he can't swim!! There was a young fella called Joe Who fancied himself as a beau, But the girl - it was clear - Had another idea Which dealt his big ego a blow! There was a young lady called Lucy Who decided she wanted a pussy But she chose a tom Who was out all night long Having fun with a kitty called Suzy! There was a sweet lady called May Who romanced with her sweetheart all day But the man he was fickle He just wanted a tickle Gave his name to another..Friday! There was a young lady called Helen Who thought she would sit on a melon The melon went SPLATT!! And frightened the cat What the cat did to her she's not tellin'! There is a young fella named Fred Who decided to stand on his head But his wife gave a frown Said.."Don't be such a clown!" And pushed him right off of the bed!! There was a young Scottie called Jock Who thought that he knew how to rock As he twisted with flair His kilt flew in the air And the girls all passed out with the shock ! Ella
Whose walk could be likened to dance Her footsteps so light She sure was a sight So men always gave her a glance. There was a young lady in Sweden Who thought that her country was Eden She bragged, "It's so nice, it's like paradise", But forgot about the winters in Sweden! Marianne 
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