Friday 3^rd October to Monday 6^th October saw the fourth Collectormania event in Milton Keynes and the first Collectormania event that we have ever attended. A full report (including details on who Richenda and Alys are, and why they have so many quotes here) can be found here. This page is dedicated to the mad things said and heard over the course of the weekend in one handy spot for you all to laugh at, or just wonder at how insane we all are.

Otherwise known as the silly things said in place of what we actually meant to say and other miscellaneous, unintentional things – mishearings, misviewings, etc.

      Sarah: “Hollywood.com – it’s a website…obviously.”

      Richenda: “Viggo sounds like he’s been drinking too much pipeweed.” (She meant smoking too much…)

      Sarah: “Look, [Elijah] signed her name. I hope he signs his name on ours.” (To which Richenda’s response was, “I should hope so!”)

      Alys: “The twins are still at home with their mams.” (We were talking fiction, but still…)

      Richenda: “Sumb thucking” (instead of thumb sucking)

      Richenda: “To heal my heart and drown my Elijah.” (She was singing the Hobbit Drinking Song. The Elijah came from her not wanting to step on Sarah’s picture of him.)

      Sarah: “Cir Cadogan” (instead of Sir Cadogan)

      Rhi: “How can you not tell Dom and Billy apart? One of them’s Irish!” (She meant to say Scottish…)

      Richenda: misread the name of the shop Girl Heaven as Grey Havens.

      Richenda: “Field Archery field.”

      Sarah: misheard Richenda’s “Hi, I’m Elijah Wood and I just hugged you three” as “Hi, I’m Elijah Wood and I just fucked you three.”

      Sarah, Alys and Richenda: All misheard Boromir in FotR’s “My father is a noble man,” as “My father is an older man.”

Things that were said intentionally or that were said accidentally but ended up becoming a quote for the rest of the weekend.

      All (at some point or another) but originally Richenda: “Tweasley” (meaning one of the Weasley twins, i.e. the Phelps twins)

      Sarah and Richenda (originally): “A wizard never skips, Frodo Baggins, nor does he monkey walk. He walks precisely as he means to.”

      Rhi and Richenda: “We rock with a rockness that no-one has ever rocked with before.”

      All: came up with the term “fanwench” and its derivatives (specifically Manwench, Elfwench and Hobbitwench) and also: “They have a Cavewench.” (in FotR, in place of Cavetroll)

      Sarah: “Like him? I wanna shag him in his kitchen!” (Understandably, we won’t mention who she was talking about)

      Rhi: “Isn’t this what the student loan’s for?” (To Anthony Stewart Head, when we were talking about how much we were spending. He found it funny, anyway…)

      Richenda: “Gandalf the Gay comes out to play”

      All: “He’s so pretty” (said in both a goblin-esque He’s soooooooooo prittey and the Sam Rockwell-esque He’s so preeeeety)

      Richenda: Introduced the concept of a whole new meaning to the Ring-bearer and all associated Ring phrases such as “Frodo’s fingering his Ring” and “Everyone wants Frodo’s Ring.” Yes, we all have dirty minds, we know this.

      Richenda: Also came up with an improvisation of Justin Timberlake’s Rock Your Body. All we did was change the woman’s “Talk to me, boy” to “Talk to me, Dom” (or, in Rhi’s case, “Talk to me, Lij”), but it was fun nonetheless.

      Alys: Came up with the concept of Hobbit tampons, after Rhi told her about an old conversation she and Sarah once had in the WARPS chatroom with someone else. It involved Galadriel inserting Frodo whole…

      Alys: “Dobby’s such a happy little man, he looks like he’d be everyone’s friend.” (Which can take on a whole new context if desired…)

These are anonymous for the simple fact that we don’t know the people who said them, but nonetheless they were funny. Short section, this, but what’s here is good.

      Richenda and Sarah overheard a woman pointing at Corey Feldman and saying, “It’s John Riddle!” Two points – 1) We think you were aiming for Christian Coulson, just next to Corey and 2) Who’s John Riddle?!

      An article in a local Milton Keynes paper-type-thing was talking about Collectormania, and it was SO bad. Choice phrases include, “Frodo Baggins himself is popping by,” “the celebrities are coming at you thick and fast,” “Hit the web,” (which Sarah then mimed doing) and “Grab the scenery.” (Which led us to wonder if the people counted as part of the scenery).

      On one of the stalls, they had security-type badges for the LotR characters (you’ll see us wearing them on some of the photos when they go up) and two of them were spelt wrong – Legolas had been spelt “Legalos” and Saruman had been spelt “Sarauman” – go figure. A man at the same stall was responsible for this conversation, too:

Man: We haven’t got any Legalos (yes, that’s how he said it).
Richenda: Have you got any Hobbits?
Man: We’ve only got Frodo.
Rhi: Have you got any Elves?
Man: Just Frodo (huh?!)…We have Liv, and…we have the two women… (Which would make poor Liv Tyler what exactly?)