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SPRING
It is like the air has been washed clean-
after a rain.
The dust is gone, and my lungs ache
in the beautiful sweetness they claim.
The sharp, glad laguther in a crow's call,
The small puddles cradled by the bricks
It is so wonderful, so new and vibrant
As if the world were created yesterday,
and its birth waters are yet dripping from
the fresh, deep green trees into the untried loam
And I am but a babe, with no trageties or trials
to bear in my name.
And, I, too am new
April 23, 2000
SICK
Like a fever, this sickness has an image
The smooth carmel abrubtly wrinkling
And also, like a fever, I feel quesy
Sick.
I miss your smile, your laughter.
But most of all, I feel hollowed out
by what you took from me.
that which we called mutual love,
that which perhaps I could have understood.
I was blind.
But you were not.
And I wasn't innocent.
But I still have a heart
Or at least I think I do
Because I think that's what's sick.
Only I don't have any medicine,
And you just keep infecting me.
April 20, 2000
THE BUTTERFLY CATCHER
The butterfly hangs, floating in mid-air.
Her colors brilliant, vibrant, alive.
You are fascinated by her, in her complete freedom,
In her beauty, by the knowledge of her creation.
You sit down beneth an oak tree to watch,
You catalog her beauties and she drifts down
To her silent, handsome admirer.
It is then you swing the net, and capture her.
Pull her close to you, to the earth,
Pinch her with pins and gaze in adoration.
Until her feirce anger has melted into worn tiredness
Until colors fade from her wings
The beauty that held you still beneth the oak tree
falls away from your memories.
And it is but a moth you have captured.
March 16, 2000
FOOL
The quesy sickness that grips,
It gripped my heart
In a manner that the cold chills
Grasp bowels in weakness.
My heart thumped grotesquely
And I felt all my joy slip away
As your eyes glared into mine,
At the cruel betrayal I had committed.
Betrayal it was not meant to be,
Not in the least,
So casual was my fleeting thought,
As I mildly flipped the square,
With more skill than I imagined.
The trust in which you stood unflinching,
Until the missle hit home-
Flattering and flustering is my emotion.
How could I hurt you,
When you trusted me in vain?
March 18, 1999
LONELY HEART
I thought you would come tonight.
Maybe it was the way your faced lighted up,
Or the way you smiled at me all these weeks
Whatever it was, I thought you would come.
Now I'm more alone than ever,
Without you here to laugh with.
I finally got my courage up to ask,
And I thought you would come.
February 17, 1999
WHY, LOVE?
Why does love have to be so painful?
Why can't we love who we've always loved?
Why can't we love who is easiest?
Why can't love be painless?
Why does it shift like the winds?
Why must it cause such GREAT pain?
How come I can't fall out of love?
Why do I need love?
And I can't love openly?
Is love a farce?
Some weird, social game?
Why joy, love?
And love, pain?
Why can't I love who I love?
Why can't love last forever?
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