HUNGER
There is a hunger no food can fill,
A thirst no liquid can quench.
A love that has no definition,
And words that cannot speak.
I know these things,
I struggle under their burden.
I seek to find a way to fill,
To quench, or define, or speak.
And the answer eludes me.
All consuming love blanks out the emptiness,
Travel numbs the sensation,
And happiness is the same as full.
Someday, on the trail of life,
I will look down on the answer,
And my heart will rejoice,
The void within my abdomen will fill,
And I will be whole.
NEW YEAR'S 1999
The curve of silver that was the road
The swift skudding clouds that blanketed the sky
The bright paleness of the moon in its yellow halo
The trees and bushes like paper cutouts in its light.
A beautiful, perfect, Winter night.
The scar on my shoulder has faded
The course of my heart has shifted
The Princess Bride flickers in a dark room
To there my thoughts flow.
An endless, seamless change.
The cider flowed like wine it was not
The laughter rang like tears
And one by one we stopped dancing
Knowing the last of our simple years.
Times have changed and so must we.
The ball fell on Times Square
It did not fall on me.
No, it did not fall on me.
SUBARU
I saw your car today-
Now its blue, with that small dent on the rear fender.
Its not really a rat, you know.
The web of connecting roads that reach to the sky
The laughter that burst from my lips
As I hopped across railroad ties and through
A swamp of yellow grass and grey spears of old trees.
A joy that has again begun to gladden my heart,
Break the mist from my weary eyes.
And perhaps I will not feel dispair, soon
When I think of moving home, again
-Moving to Bellingham again.
I would write you, tell you the joys and ironies
that you have always, best appreciated.
But I think it really is the time for me to grow up
And hold myself alone to the sky.
You know, my dearest, I am happy now.
Not indifferent, but happy.
I love you. Good-night.
BLUE EYES
I�m not sure I can exactly understand
To think, to read, to do these things
These things that are so inherently me-
You tell me they are good, you give them value
This is so dangerous, this game.
Are you playing with me, or am I playing with you?
Either way, I think I�m happier for the game
But more than a little scared-
By the things you stand for, the words you say
-They�re a sweet, irresistible song to me.
Are you really real?
Could you be what I�m looking for?
And if you are, will I be able to risk my dignity
And put myself on the line?
Or will I let this pas, like No-Name Boy
And Special K?
I can�t say with way I favor
Foolishness?
Regrets?
JEFF
Slow, measured, you hands span across my ribs and spine.
You damp forehead and mine point the same direction
Out in the night, the starry night filled with light
A nibble on my back, on my neck
A slow caress of my knee as you move from 2nd to 3rd
The time, the patience you take, you have
Your words, both solemn and teasing
How frightening this all seems, so suddenly at times
Your scent fills my pores
Your identity fills my mind�
�and I wonder where all this is going
Even as I fail to look past the next weekend, when I will see you again.
I love you, though.
Perhaps that is all I have to know.
APARTMENT
This small, insignificant place amidst the bustle of a city
Its calm, perfect.
A little sanctuary of him and his life.
A place to sleep and love
Its isn�t impersonal at all;
It is where he lives, it is where I lie,
Green and blue and Smokey Bear,
Beer and forest postings.
And best of all, most best, bestest-
He wants me here at least as much as I wish to stay.
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