Far superior to a normal pencil and eighty times as massive, 
the electric pencil is a must-have for all those who spend too 
much time behind a desk, or have an interest in artwork.  Among its 
many capibilities are that it writes up to six times faster than a normal 
pencil and can fix errors before they even happen.  Also, using special 
sensors and gyroscopes, the electric pencil can even write by itself.  Just 
input a vocal command and it will become your new personal secretary. 
Recharging the electric pencil is never a problem, since it runs on two 
highly durable nuclear batteries which only emit a minimum amount of 
harmful radiation.  But, if needed, the electric pencil can harness the wind 
to recharge its batteries. 
WARNING:  Risk of electric shock.  Keep away from children, small animals, 
and certain gelatinous foods.  Risk of extreme shock if contact is made with 
metal spheres or hand or other extremity is placed within three centimeters of them. 
Risk of fire when dropped. 
Do not place in mouth.