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This device can make fire where there was none previously. It does its job sporadically and unreliably. Usually it can incinerate things within a half mile radius. This machine has a mysterious side effect of attracting small animals and rodentia. It is wise to keep this machine in a very dry location, preferably around some sort of kindling. If it comes into contact with water, get away as fast as you can, because the explosion will leave a 3 mile wide crater. |
The Spontaneous Combustion Machine is patented by Perplexing Productions Inc. though we wish it wasn't