In every way except one, our system blows the competition away.  For one thing, it can be used as a vacuum cleaner, a fireplace, a dirty shoe, and your cat can live in it too.  Instead of CD's and cartridges, it plays games off analogue tape, which is currently the trend, with its unlimited space and loading time.  The system contains an 800 Gigahert chip, however, most of that is used to run the fireplace portion of the system.  Like most pieces of modern technology, it operates off natural gas, and requires a pipeline be installed directly into your home.  It is capable of rendering one and a half dimension graphics.  As of now our best researchers and scientists predict it will be ten years before we have the technology available to render an extra half dimension, to attain the illusion of a pure flat two dimensional space. 
 The controller itself is a large lump of plastic with a wire sticking out, which can provide hours of entertainment by itself.  The controller contains two buttons, one marked "win" and the other "lose" and one directional arrow, for enhanced game play. With three buttons we've saved over 80% more space and uselessness. 
 One other key feature of this system, is that it has neither an on nor an off switch.  To turn it off, you must pull out the plug; but even then it won't stop.  You must pour water on it, then set fire to it, and finally bury the ashes in an old Indian burial ground.  In order to play again you must buy a new system for the price of $823.13. 
 

-For the best results, we recommend using the P-Box in conjunction with the steam powered television.