| Tapestry
I. The first time I thought it was an aberration. He promised that it would never happen again. It didn�t mean anything. The day had been long and frustrating, I was being my usual sarcastic self. The backhand had worked. It wiped the smirk right off my face. The sting faded quickly, he hadn�t hit me hard enough to bruise. He apologized instantly, cradling my check, he buried his head in the croak of my neck, his breathe warm and ticklish and I forgave. The matter was quickly forgotten and put behind us. An aberration. II. The second time was just as much a shock as the first. It had been three months. Truthfully, I had forgotten all about the incident. Another long day at the office. Another missing person found too late. He had been moody since we left the office, not talking, only nodding at me in response. It seemed to come out of nowhere. One minute I�m asking him what he wants for dinner and the next my arm is being wrenched behind me and I�m slammed face first into the wall. All the air left me, I felt light headed and disorientated. His breath was hot against my ear, �You just never know when to shut up the fuck up, do you?� He gave me a slight shove as he pushed away from me. The next day my arm was tender, he grabbed me in the same place three times that day. No apology was offered. III. The third time, I told myself it would be the last. It wasn�t quit a month since the last time. I can�t even blame it on a case. The day had been spent catching up on paperwork, nothing significant at all. Things between us had been good. We were getting along well and I had thought all the bad stuff was behind us. I was wrong. We had been home for a while, watching TV and talking, enjoying each other. I got up to go into the kitchen, I wasn�t gone more than a minute or two and suddenly everything went to hell. I noticed the change as soon as I walked back into the living room. He was standing still looking out the window. Standing so still. I felt a moment of apprehension before pushing it down and walking toward him. �Are you ok?� I never saw it coming. He turned toward me so fast and I was paralyzed. His fist connected with my stomach solidly. I dropped to my knees and fought for breath. My eyes were watering; I glanced up quickly before staring at his feet. I watched him walk away and than I was alone in the room. I don�t know how long I knelt there. I had fallen asleep on the floor beside the window. He came and put me to bed. There were apologies this time. He whispered words of love and regret in my ear. He kissed his way down my body and spent a great deal of time kissing the bruise that had formed on my stomach. He begged me to stay, to not desert him and I stayed. IV. I don�t have a fourth time. So many of them have blurred together. The next one that stands out was the first time I had to lie to my friends. I was walking stiffly and had quite the shiner. Sam cornered me in the hallway. I said it was from a rough game of basketball. I don�t think she believed me. Vivian clucked her tongue at me and told me I wasn�t as young as I used to be. Jack shot me a concerned look, but didn�t comment. Martin asked me when I had become such a klutz. I had barely closed the front door when he hit me. Right in the eye, which wasn�t his normal M.O., he didn�t like to leave bruises that others could see. I brought my hands up to protect myself and that gave him the opening he was looking for. He punched me in the stomach and I feel to my knees. The kick that followed was surprising and painful. I never got the chance to catch my breath before he kicked me again. Right in the kidneys, it hurt like a son of a bitch. The tug on my hair wasn�t nearly as painful as the sound of his zipper. My mind screamed at me to move but my body was incapable of obeying. I gagged when he pushed all the way to the back of my throat. I had to fight down the urge to bite; it was a lesson I never wanted to repeat. I worked hard to get him off, stroked the underside of his cock with my tongue, my efforts where rewarded with the quick snap of his hips. There was no way he was going to last much longer. I swallowed around him and moaned deeply and there it was. Success. The hoarse cry was music to my ears; I drained every drop from him, slumping back when his fists released my hair. I had made it through another night. V. The last month had been bad. I�m barely holding it together at work. It wouldn�t be so bad if he weren�t there everyday, watching. I can�t function properly knowing that he sees everything. I�ve never been this self-conscious in my life. I couldn�t understand how I had let things get this far. I�m an FBI Agent I see horrible things everyday. Christ, I had seen this in my own life. My father had beaten the shit out of all of us. I thought I had put this part of my life behind me, but apparently I was wrong. It started out just like any other day. We had a new case; Sam and I were assigned to work together. Normally I enjoy working with Sam, but she won�t leave me alone. I know she knows, everyday she asks me to leave him. I try to tell her she�s imaging things, but who could believe me? My worst fear is that she�ll confront him. He�d kill me. I have no doubt in this. It�s kind of sick, I�m sick. I don�t know why I can�t leave. I�ve tried but I just can�t do it. Deep in my soul I know the only real way out is dying and I�m not ready for that. Sam and I were tracking down a lead when the call came in. Jack needed her back in the office and suddenly he was there. I hated working with him more than anything. I tried hard not to let our personal life affect work but sometimes that seemed impossible. �What are you doing here?� I sounded paranoid even to my own ears. �I heard you were out here alone. It�s dangerous out here Danny.� His voice was low and a shiver ran down my spine. I looked around quickly the alley was deserted. I don�t know how he found me out here and being alone with him in a dark alley wasn�t doing anything for my nerves. He stalked slowly toward me, and my feet backed up without my knowledge. �I need to get back to work.� My voice was barely above a whisper; I turned quickly trying to head out of the alley. I only made it a step before he grabbed me. My head slamming into the brick wall was the last thing I remember. I woke up in the hospital. Apparently I�d been jumped in the alley and knocked unconscious. I don�t know how they came up with that story, but I wasn�t looking a gift horse in the mouth. Sam came in to visit me. She gave me a searching look and I had to turn away. �Please Danny. Don�t let him get away with this anymore.� Her voice was pleading and desperate. �I don�t know what you�re talking about.� � Nobody else wants to believe what�s right in front of our eyes, but I refuse to play dumb any longer. You have come forward. Please, Danny, we all love you, we�ll help you.� It was so hard not to break down. I wanted to tell her the truth, I wanted to believe there was a way out, but the words just wouldn�t come. �Just say it Danny. All you have to do is say it.� The desperation in her voice was heartbreaking. I wanted to say it, just so she wouldn�t be so sad anymore. �I was jumped. End of story.� Her shoulders slumped in defeat, I caught a movement from the corner of my eye and Jack was staring at me. I had to look away before I broke down completely. VI. I always knew it would come down to this moment. In the year since he had started to beat me it had never been this bad. My mind is hazy of all the details, but I know one way or another this was the last time. The pain is excruciating and breathing is almost too painful to continue. I can barely make out my cell phone on the floor next to the couch. If I could just make it that far I�m sure it will be ok. Every inch I move closer to the phone takes more energy than I have to give. Jack had told him that he was transferring him out of the unit. Martin did not take it well. I�m not sure why no one had warned me this was all going down today. I wouldn�t have been sleeping innocently at home if I had known. Maybe they didn�t expect him to come back here, maybe they thought he would turn tail and run now that his secret was out. None of them knew Martin at all. The last week since I had been home from the hospital had been so peaceful. I wasn�t at all prepared. The kicks and fists came flying out before I even knew what was happening. I could barely understand what Martin was saying in between hits. I had certainly understood the phrase, �taking a pound of flesh with him,� right before Martin had pulled down my pants. The scream had lodged in my throat never to be uttered. Martin had fucked me raw and left me bleeding on the floor of living room. The final kick that had cracked at least two ribs was probably overkill. The phone is finally within my reach; just hit a number Danny, any number. Except #1, calling Martin wasn�t going to do me any good at this point. There you go #4, please someone answer. �Spade.� Thank God, now if only I could form words. �Danny? Danny, is that you?� Sam�s voice was panicked. �Sam� I did it. The End |