Time and time again we face so many obstacles testing our love, but none have been as heart throbbing as this. Was this another test? Or was it the truth? I only wish it was but a test, so the knowledge of you not wanting me, not loving me won't have to run through my veins. Rejection. I hate it. So now what am I to do? You don't reach out to me. You do talk to me. You have gone away to live in your own world – I still am reminiscing in the world that we once built together. It is slowly breaking apart… Now tell me Mamo-chan, now that insanity that is threatening to steal me away from reality, is what you want. Tell me that you want me to fall apart – That you want me to miss you… That you are just seeing if I really do love you. Because darling, I think I passed the test already… So please come back. ~~~ (Right Here Waiting - Monica and 112 / Richard Marx) Oceans apart day after day And I slowly go insane I hear your voice on the line But it doesn't stop the pain If I see you next to never How can we say forever Wherever you go Whatever you do I will be right here waiting for you Whatever it takes Or how my heart breaks I will be right here waiting for you I took for granted, all the times That I though would last somehow I hear the laughter and I taste the tears But I can't get near you now Oh, can't you see it baby You've got me goin' Crazy Wherever you go Whatever you do I will be right here waiting for you Whatever it takes Or how my heart breaks I will be right here waiting for you I wonder how we can survive (This romance) But in the end if I'm with you (With you babe) I'll take the chance (I'll take the chance) Wherever you go Whatever you do I will be right here waiting for you Whatever it takes Or how my heart breaks I will be right here waiting for you Oh I Love You Oh what ever it takes What ever you do Where ever you go I'm never leaving you I'll be right here waiting for you, for you ~~~ Interlude Chapter 3 By Eternal Angel Usako9@hotmail.com http://cherryblossoms.cjb.net/ http://cblossoms.cjb.net/ ~~~ She pulled out a pen, as she let her hand guide it on the paper, forming her dignified kanji that she had tried so hard to improve on – hoping that he could see how much she had improved for him… But it really did make no change, you see, she never sent the letters she wrote. Those letters were just consonances, something reminding her that as long as the final blow was no struck – that she still had a chance. She sighed, as she looked down at the paper. She read it, slowly, taking in her own words. Mamo-chan, The days go by ever so slow without you – my heart turns with anguish. Can I gush again about how much I miss you? I do, oh Kami knows that I do. The distance between us physically and mentally is making me feel so lost. I have never been this far away from you, we are further than we were a thousand years ago – the distance of the moon and the earth was nothing compared to now. Maybe it is but of the thought that it isn't just this distance, but the thought that we will not be together. I wish to die at such a thought. But of course, I could never do so – to die is but to lose the chance of you coming back and saying that you missed me – that you are truly sorrowful of such passing events. To die is to miss out of the chance. I have changed so much!! I no longer am that child that whined and cried – was that what turned you off because I have changed that. I also not am better at school – does having a girlfriend who barely passes each class embarrass you? I'll change just for you. I'll do anything just for you… She sighed, every letter was about the same topic, every letter announce the love that she was missing from him – all eighty plus of them. But a letter a day was what she did – but she could never get herself to send even one of them… She was afraid that he would respond to her ever so negatively. She shuddered, her feet dragging along as she looked around her. Christmas was everywhere. The streets, the houses, the buildings, the stores – all signs of the merry holiday… She only wish that she was half as merry as the decorations. But how can she when the more beautiful occasion was to be spent alone? 'Iie, you have Rei's party to go to…' Just what she needed, going to a party where everyone she knew was. Yes, she was to smile, hear about them talk about their carefree happy lives and how they are painfully jealous that she had Mamoru and Seiya hooked on her. If only they knew that Mamoru was but a memory to far away to touch. She took in a deep breath and looked into the shop that was in front of her. There was but a ring, lined with smaller diamond gems as a larger gem shaped as a heart was but in the middle of it. She couldn't help but want it. "Look at that, isn't it beautiful?" A voice caught her attention as she looked at the couple that was but to her right. They were in each other's embrace, and she and Mamoru use to be smiling at each other. "You like it Ayo?" He asked the girl within his embrace as she nodded, "but the prince is so expensive…" He smiled, whisking her closer to him. "Iie, it isn't, I was meaning to get you a Christmas present – and an engagement ring…" Her eyes lit up. "Ohh YURI!" she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down for a kiss. Her heart yearned for that to be her, and for 'Yuri' to be Mamoru… She turned around, walking her strange slow pace. 'Look what you have done to me Mamo-chan…' ~~~ Mamoru looked within the glass window, his eyes glancing at the beautiful objects made from prized gems. "Sir, do you want to go in?" A gentle voice asked him, as he looked up at a clerk. He agreed to, as he entered the store, looking at the beautiful jewelry. His eyes caught onto a beautiful ring, a heart shaped diamond was attached to a gold band. Other tiny diamonds surrounded the heart… "There is only two upon this world. One is in Japan, and the other one is here…" He knew Usagi would have loved it. His heart yearned. 'Can I pretend for a moment that you still belong to me?' He had asked, as he nodded at her. "I'll take it…" 'Even if it is just a moment…' ~~~ The Christmas party was loud and filled with laughter… She didn't laugh. Instead she sat in the corner, sipping some punch and writing a letter to Mamoru. She did that whenever she was down, whenever she thought of him. Dear Mamoru, Merry Christmas! That's what they all say to me. I'm not quite merry right now, I'm missing you so. The day goes by so slow, and I cannot help but think that I am so alone. The senshis do not see my idleness – but I guess it's for the best – because then they wouldn't patronize me about you, I don't like to talk about anything of that sort. The day goes by so slowly lately, can I say how much I missed you? I indulged greatly upon my studies, my grades are getting higher now… are you proud of me? My heart goes out to you, and I cannot help but wonder if you found yourself a girlfriend over there? As long as she makes you happy, I'll be content with just this empty game I play on myself… Was it something I did to push you away? Or was it because you stop wanting destiny to lead you into this empty relationship with you? Just for your knowledge, I never thought our relationship was empty – I believed it was fruitful and wonderful… Is it because I'm not like your princess? I am her, I know it, but did you hope that I was someone more… sophisticated? More beautiful and headstrong, not an ugly baka like me? I'm so confused… Mamo-chan… I miss you… Usa-ko She placed the letter into her pocket, her eyes closing as the sounds of laughter rang upon her ears. She couldn't stand it anymore. Everyone so happy – she so miserable. Making sure no one was looking, she slipped away from the shrine, as she began to make way down the dozen of stairs. Christmas was a time to share with the person you cared for the most. But, she thought bitterly, what if the person didn't care for you? She headed home. ~~~ Christmas. Such a bitter holiday. Before he had spent it with Usagi – but now… He sighed, looking around his apartment. Nothing was right anymore. His heart ached. He missed Usagi. He closed his eyes, picturing her in his mind. Always so beautiful. Always so perfect. He wondered if she had found someone new yet. He found jealousy rage within his stomach. "Another holding her in his arms… Another tasting her lips… Another bringing out laughter from her lips…" His heart was launched with pain. If only not… "I miss you…" He picked up the phone, dialing her number. Ring… Ring… Ring… "Moshi moshi?" It was but her sweet voice. He couldn't say anything, his voice was stuck in her throat. "Moshi moshi? Is anyone here?" He couldn't find the courage to say another. "Mamo-chan? Iie… It couldn't be… he doesn't care anymore…" She hung up. He sighed, cradling the phone in his arms. "Mamo-chan? Iie… It couldn't be… he doesn't care anymore…" Her voice rung in his ears. He sobbed. He did care. ~~~ Finally, another chapter done. Finals have caused me to become insane… I mean more so… hehehe… anyway email is great!!