How is he today?� I asked quietly, hesitating outside the door, one hand on the brass doorknob.

����������� She smiled bravely, but the smile never reached her eyes.

����������� �Oh, about the same as usual,� she said lightly, �he�d be glad to see you. You know that.� Her last words held a trace of bitterness, and I couldn�t blame her for that. I suppose she just couldn�t understand why her dying child rejected the family, and welcomed a stranger instead.

����������� But she wouldn�t keep me away. She loved him too much for that.

����������� I simply nodded, wishing I could say more, but not daring to. Steeling myself, I opened the door, and entered the room to confront the nightmare scene I faced everyday.

����������� A nightmare�and yet a dream I would rather cling on to with every last vestige of my strength than let slip away.

����������� She had been overly optimistic when she�d said �about the same as usual�. He was fading. I could see it in his eyes, the way he took just that bit longer to sit up and smile at me.

����������� �Hey, Oliver.� His voice was barely a whisper. He couldn�t manage much more than that.

����������� I smiled back at him as I came over.

����������� �How do you feel today?�

����������� �Same old, same old.� He blinked discreetly, trying to shake off the sleepiness of a newly-awakened daze�he could shake off the sleepiness, but not the pallor of disease, the �

����������� - sickness that�s eating him up from the inside. It�s taking him away, can�t you see that, it�s taking him away from you �

����������� - cancer that was draining his life.

����������� �Liar.� I chided as I sat on the bed, taking his frail form into my arms.

����������� He laughed weakly, leaning his head against my shoulder.

����������� �Am I that obvious?�

����������� �No.� �I was a liar too.

����������� We sat like that for a while, in companionable silence, as if we were just passing a lazy afternoon like friends sometimes do.

����������� As if he wasn�t slowly dying in my arms.

����������� Then I couldn�t take it anymore, this easy lie.

����������� �Does it hurt?� I buried my face in his hair, not really wanting to know the answer.

����������� There was a slight pause.

����������� �Yes,� he admitted.

����������� �Worse than before?�

����������� �Yes.� He said again, �I�m not going to last much longer.�

����������� �Percy�� I wanted to tell him not to say that, but the words caught in my throat. It was true. We all knew it.

����������� There was a silence, as I tried to blink away the tears in my eyes, tried to work past the sudden constriction in my throat. Then he spoke.

����������� ��Do you want to know a secret?� He sounded almost playful, the way he said the word made it seem as if �secret� had a capital �S�.

����������� �What secret?�

����������� �When I die,� he�d tripped slightly over the word, but we pretended not to notice, �I�m going up to heaven where the angels are��

����������� Angels�

����������� ��And I�m going to eat all the chocolate ice cream I never got to eat because the others wanted it.� He finished promptly.

����������� I blinked.

����������� �That�s your secret?�

����������� �Uh huh.�

����������� �Chocolate ice cream?�

����������� �You have no idea how much ice cream I�ve had to give up just because I was older.�

����������� I laughed. I couldn�t help it. I�d had no idea.

����������� When I finally managed to calm down, I asked, sober, �Do you really believe that?�

����������� �No.� He admitted with a small smile. �But it�s a dream, isn�t it? And a secret to keep before I die.� Again, he tripped over the word.

����������� �You�re the only one who knows my secret,� he continued, looking thoughtful, ��It�s our secret, then.�

����������� I nodded, holding him close.

����������� �Our secret.� I whispered tightly, smiling at the thought of chocolate ice cream.

����������� It was a while before I left.

* * * * * * *

����������� When I came to see him today, I knew he wasn�t going to make it.

����������� �He wanted you.� She�d murmured as I passed. Her eyes were bright with tears. She�d given my hand a squeeze as she passed, and I knew that, hurt as she was at the rejection, I was forgiven.

����������� We wasted no time as I entered and held him, gripping his hand tightly. There was no more room for banter.

����������� �I�m scared.� He said simply, a dim hopelessness in his fast-fading eyes.

����������� �Don�t be.� I tried to keep the tears in, but they spilled over anyway. �Think of the chocolate ice cream.�

����������� He laughed weakly, gasping in pain as he did so.

����������� �Our secret.�

����������� I nodded, not trusting my voice. I know he could feel it.

����������� �I didn�t want them to see me like this.� He gestured vaguely towards the living room.

����������� �I know.� It was a whisper.

����������� Where did we go wrong?�Where did we go wrong?�

����������� �It�s dark, you know, it�ll be dark, and I won�t be able to feel a thing, ever ��

����������� I cut off the rising panic in his voice forcefully.

����������� �No!� I continued, gentler, ��no. It�ll be bright, so bright. It�ll be beautiful. There�ll be angels��

����������� ��Yes.� He smiled.

����������� ��Angels, and chocolate ice cream.� I wept openly, it didn�t matter anymore.

����������� �Percy�oh�Percy�

����������� ��Ice cream�� The fight had gone out of his voice. It was over. I could feel it. It was over.

����������� I stared at him through my tears. Watched him smile a beatific smile, the last time, I knew.

����������� I would see that smile forever.

����������� ��I�ll be waiting for you.�

����������� And then he was gone.

����������� I went out to face them, tears still pouring down my cheeks.

����������� �It�s over.�

����������� �Oh � my boy �� She broke down first. The others followed, more discreetly.

����������� �It�s okay,� I tried to smile, �He�s gone up to heaven with the angels�he�s going to have all the chocolate ice cream he ever wanted.�

����������� I wondered how he would feel, me telling our secret like that.

����������� �But it was our secret�and I guess it was okay.

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