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Bob Paull
EXTRA CREDIT
Composing a Life by Catherine Bateson
" You keep a house, but you make a home.
The word "home" has many layers of meaningÖpg. 119"
I chose a chapter called Making and Keeping
to glean from.
The idea of home is composed of many layers.
It does involved cleaning and upkeep, but it goes beyond this idea. It
is a place where growth is possible. The authorís idea of home allows her
to break free from gender roles and traditional roles to be able to draw
on metaphor to enrich her perception of her life. This chapter gives
several example of home situation of successful woman and the components
that make the idea of home transcend the traditional boundaries.
The components of homes are relationships
for which the idea of home is firmly rooted. Followed by a place, a physical
place where relationships and routines can be cultivated. Routines and
familiar environments help the continuity of relationships
I found this chapter favorable to my situation
considering I am working to fulfill my personal mission statement of putting
my hubby and family first. I have realized that over the courser of this
program I miss them. I am not in touch with them and what is happening.
My hubby and I have been going in separate directions most of the time
and we have had to purposely plan activities together so that we can stay
knit together. One of our rituals is that every Tuesday night we watch
three hours of T.V. cuddled on the couch with each other. Bateson points
out that a womanís role used to be defined by keeping house and cooking.
Now making meals are time consuming and more spouses share the roles. She
also points out that having a man in the house, means putting additional
work on the woman even though the man believes himself that he is helping.
Before I was married I had a hard enough
keeping my material items under wraps as well as find time to houseclean.
But when I got married, it got worse. I donít keep house like
traditional wives anymore I donít really have time for it.
In the beginning of our marriage Dennis
came with this euphoric idea that I was going to be this little wifely
that "took care of him." I soon realized that that wasnít who I was. I
was not content just doing that. I was bad at it too <G>. Eventually
we gave up that tension by opting for a housecleaner to come weekly. It
has allowed us to enjoy of home a lot more and make it more of a place
of relaxationÖwell some of the time spent there. Catherine Bateson mentions
that many families of today rarely relax at home but continue to work and
clean.
ëÖThey shared an apartmentÖgetting their
first dog established a partnership as long term and the space where they
lived-in as a homeÖthrough out it all, golden retrievers flow across the
human currentÖ"
The first year of our marriage we rescued
two kittens and later added three dogs by our 7th year of our marriage.
In this Dennis and I partner together to love and raise the dogs. We have
not been able to have children yet, but in the meantime this has been a
source of parenting. A woman bought a puppy from me and this became a bridge
to a long-term commitment to each other. Out of the raising of the puppy,
came a family and eventually children.
It is these events, amongst the other
traditons that bind people together.
One of the most pungent binding experiences
my husband I had this year, was the loss and grief of losing our
male mini aussie Scotty to an accident and then having our foster boy rehomed.
Losing Scotty and Dustin within a month of each other was a terrible burden
to bear. But, it brought us closer together and allowed us to see each
other in a way that we never had before. As I grieved for my dog, Dennis
was empathetic and compassionate. When Dustin had to be re-homed, the tables
were turned and I was able to be compassionate and understanding toward
my husband. God worked something for good us. We were able to be close
to each other and it bridged a gap that was erupting from lack of time
together. Our home up until this was not a place of relaxation, but on
of tension. One of the most helpful quotes of this chapter was the
one below and it aligns itself with Coveyís principal of consistency in
personal interactions and integrity.
"Relationships need the continuity of repeated
actions and familiar space almost as much as human being need food and
shelter" pg. 126
Bateson, Catherine. Composing a Life. Plume
Co., New York, New York. 1992.
-Heather Pozzi
CADRE 3B
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