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 Bob Paull
EXTRA CREDIT

Composing a Life by Catherine Bateson

" You keep a house, but you make a home. The word "home" has many layers of meaningÖpg. 119"





I chose a chapter called Making and Keeping to glean from. 
The idea of home is composed of many layers. It does involved cleaning and upkeep, but it goes beyond this idea. It is a place where growth is possible. The authorís idea of home allows her to break free from gender roles and traditional roles to be able to draw on metaphor to enrich her perception of her life.  This chapter gives several example of home situation of successful woman and the components that make the idea of home transcend the traditional boundaries. 
The components of homes are relationships for which the idea of home is firmly rooted. Followed by a place, a physical place where relationships and routines can be cultivated. Routines and familiar environments help the continuity of relationships
I found this chapter favorable to my situation considering I am working to fulfill my personal mission statement of putting my hubby and family first. I have realized that over the courser of this program I miss them. I am not in touch with them and what is happening. My hubby and I have been going in separate directions most of the time and we have had to purposely plan activities together so that we can stay knit together. One of our rituals is that every Tuesday night we watch three hours of T.V. cuddled on the couch with each other. Bateson points out that a womanís role used to be defined by keeping house and cooking. Now making meals are time consuming and more spouses share the roles. She also points out that having a man in the house, means putting additional work on the woman even though the man believes himself that he is helping. 
Before I was married I had a hard enough keeping my material items under wraps as well as find time to houseclean. But when I got married,  it got worse.  I donít keep house like traditional wives anymore I donít really have time for it. 
In the beginning of our marriage Dennis came with this euphoric idea that I was going to be this little wifely that "took care of him." I soon realized that that wasnít who I was. I was not content just doing that. I was bad at it too <G>. Eventually we gave up that tension by opting for a housecleaner to come weekly. It has allowed us to enjoy of home a lot more and make it more of a place of relaxationÖwell some of the time spent there. Catherine Bateson mentions that many families of today rarely relax at home but continue to work and clean.
 

ëÖThey shared an apartmentÖgetting their first dog established a partnership as long term and the space where they lived-in as a homeÖthrough out it all, golden retrievers flow across the human currentÖ"

The first year of our marriage we rescued two kittens and later added three dogs by our 7th year of our marriage. In this Dennis and I partner together to love and raise the dogs. We have not been able to have children yet, but in the meantime this has been a source of parenting. A woman bought a puppy from me and this became a bridge to a long-term commitment to each other. Out of the raising of the puppy, came a family and eventually children. 
It is these events, amongst the other traditons  that bind people together. 

One of the most pungent binding experiences my husband I had this year,  was the loss and grief of losing our male mini aussie Scotty to an accident and then having our foster boy rehomed. Losing Scotty and Dustin within a month of each other was a terrible burden to bear. But, it brought us closer together and allowed us to see each other in a way that we never had before. As I grieved for my dog, Dennis was empathetic and compassionate. When Dustin had to be re-homed, the tables were turned and I was able to be compassionate and understanding toward my husband. God worked something for good us. We were able to be close to each other and it bridged a gap that was erupting from lack of time together. Our home up until this was not a place of relaxation, but on of tension.  One of the most helpful quotes of this chapter was the one below and it aligns itself with Coveyís principal of consistency in personal interactions and integrity.
 

"Relationships need the continuity of repeated actions and familiar space almost as much as human being need food and shelter" pg. 126

Bateson, Catherine. Composing a Life. Plume Co., New York, New York. 1992.
 
 

-Heather Pozzi
CADRE 3B

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