Facts About Real MP's
Real MP's don't wear zip up boots and never shine their civilian shoes.
Real MP's iron their own uniforms.
Real MP's don't lend money, they borrow it.
Real MP's drink beer. They drink a lot of beer. They never drink on duty, which is why they swim in it after duty. Their favorite beer is FREE beer.
Real MP's are hopelessly addicted to tobacco. They either smoke, dip, or chew. The most real of real MP's smoke, dip, and chew at the same time.
Real MP's love to hunt and fish.
Real MP's love to throw things, break things, and shoot things.
Real MP's hate wimpy sports that contain little or no violence, bloodshed, pain, physical contact, or unsportsmanlike conduct.
Real MP's destroy Luminas, Corsicas, and Acclaims. It's unexplainable as how it happens, because they don't put their feet on the dash, don't spin the tires, and always use a spotter.
Real MP's don't get caught sleeping on their post.
Real MP's can discharge a fire extinguisher without touching it, check the tire pressure without a guage, and check the fluids of a running engine without lifting the hood.
Real MP's can turn a floor into a mirror, wash a sedan, change a flat, and find a missing radio, all within 30 minutes of shift change.
Real MP's don't get into trouble, they get over.
Real MP's don't read on post, they just look at the pictures.
Real MP sedans are Luminas, Corsicas, and Acclaims. They have no ash tray, a toggle switch for a heater control, and mid-shift says the fuel guage is off by one-half.
Real MP's lie like a rug, steal like a rat, and are cheatin' mother f***ers, only because its fun.
What are the four most important things to a real MP?
A garrison post, hot chow, a good piece of a**, and a fast driver at shift change.
Author: A Real MP
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