Old Dan When he was a young'un folks called him Daniel. When he was middle-aged folks called him Dan. Now, at seventy-six, he was Old Dan, and Old Dan had lived past his prime. Anymore he spent his days rocking on the porch, and if a neighbor came along, he would beckon him in and it wouldn't be long before he would start to reminisce.

"Why howdy Ned, come in an sit a spell, Nancy is gone," the tall weather-beaten old man in the large wooden rocker yelled to a younger man walking up the graveled lane.

"Old Dan, how you be, shucks ain't seen you since Laura Lee lost her baby the tother fall." The heavy set man with a beautifully cared-for cane reached out and slowly unlatched the gate/ He entered, then turned and made sure he latched the gate back, because once he had not made sure the latch was set and Nancy, Old Dan's wife, had given him holy what for.

"You're looking good Ned, what you been doing with your self since they put you out to pasture," Old Dan asked as Ned slowly climbed the eight steps up on the long front porch. "Take a chair Ned, take a chair," Old Dan said.

Now Old Dan and Nancy's house was what used to be a typical country house, two stories, with large brick chimneys on each end. A white frame house, with the sitting room on the East side and the dining room behind it, and a guest bedroom on the West side and bedrooms on the upper story. The kitchen, pantry and bathrooms were behind in a one-story addition, which had been made long before the turn of the century. And there was a large porch from one end of the front of the house to the other, and there was a porch on both the East side and the West side of the back part, large deep porches, so folks could sit in the sun in the winter time and in the shade in the summer time. And as was normal for country houses way back then there were a plethora of lightning rods located on the tin roof.

"How you been Old Dan, how the world been treating you?" Ned sat down in a large wicker rocker. You had a choice on Old Dan's front porch, a swing, a glider, a large wicker rocker, a larger wicker chair, and two small plain rocking chairs. Once Nancy had bought one of those metal gliders and those metal lawn chairs and Old Dan had thrown them off the porch and out of the yard.

"Been tolerable Ned, been tolerable, Nancy has been down with the lumbago, but that new doctor feller over In Bidetime done fixed her up real quick like. Old Dan noticed that Ned was wetting his lips, "Ned care for a sip of cousin Jack, that and a little water will whet your thirst it surely will," and Old Dan rocked forward and stood, "Just a minute," and the went into the house.

Now Ned didn't care to sit and listen to Old Dan but to get a little sipping whiskey he just would, "Yes that would be good for my dry mouth Old Dan." On a few minutes Old Dan comes back out with a tray and on it was one of those insulated ice buckets, two water glasses, a pitcher of ice water and a large blue flowered pitcher. Ned squinted at the blue flowered pitcher.

Old Dan grinned, "Nancy won't let me set a bottle out in the open on the front porch so she got me this," he said as he handed Ned a glass, then poured some nectar from the blue flowered pitcher, then added a little water. Then he did the same for himself, and covered the tray with a white kitchen towel. "You know Ned, when I was a boy they called me Daniel, always Daniel, never Dan or anything else but always Daniel."

Ned took a long slow sip of that cousin Jack and smiled, "Yes I remember they always called you Daniel, then after you and Nancy got married and you had your first child it became Dan and it was Dan till you retired," Ned got thirsty and needed another sip.

" Yep I was Daniel, Daniel, then as you say after Theresa was born I became Dan. Funny how things like that happen." Another sip of his drink and he seemed to relax more. "When I was a child, oh about four or so my dad who was a farmer, told me, "Daniel you are still a mere babe, but if you want to feel, and act like a man, you must assume in part the roll of a man. Daniel I will split the wood and cut it, but your job is to bring it in and make sure your mother always has kindling and that the wood box in the kitchen and the one on the back porch is full. Daniel you think you can handle that job?" He asked me in my dads way of asking which was really telling, but you didn't mind cause he did ask you."

Old Dan paused for he still remembered that fall day at the supper table when his dad told him that.

Ned took a drink and looked at Old Dan, "My pa wasn't that nice and smooth, for one day he looked at me and said, "Son, I expect you to tote the wood and coal in and take the ashes out and put them on the ash pile over there in the garden. If you don't I will tan your hide every time, now get busy boy." And it didn't take over ten or twelve whippings in my life time to make me understand." Ned took another drink, "What about your ma if there was no kindling or wood?"

Old Dan took a sip, and you could tell by the look on his face he was thinking and remembering, "At first mom would go out and get some then ask me, "Daniel were you too busy to get the wood?" And of course I would run and fill the boxes; but one day she was mad and dad was working for Mr. Atwell over in Clodville, and mom got up and there was no kindling or wood. She came into the room, grabbed the covers and pulled them off of me, and with the pancake turner she lit into me and she whipped me down stairs, out to the wood shed, and back and then she never said another word for I never missed again."

"Well Old Dan I got you on that one for my ma or pa when they got up and there was no kindling, wood or coal they would just come in and say, "Ned there is no wood and coal," and I was up like a shot and filling the box and making the fire." Then it was like he had said his piece and it was time for Old Dan to talk a little while, "What you reckon the kids do today? Shucks it seems every house had a furnace and an electric stove so there ain't no wood and coal to bring in? Do kids have chores like we did back when we were young'uns?"

Old Dan stopped and slowly arose and took his and Ned's glass and filled them with ice and poured some cousin Jack fro the blue flowered vase into the glasses and topped them off with water, allowing the mixing action to be accomplished by the water. Old Dan likes these days for he and Ned had not been childhood buddies for Old Dan lived on the farm and Ned lived over on the West side of town in factory row, lines of shanties build for the mill workers.

Old Dan handed Ned the glass and set back down.

"Thank you Old Dan, next time I will bring a jug, for this is shore a pleasurable day." They both raised their glasses to each other and took a drink. Both were slowing down their intakes for neither wanted to get too far gone for they knew they would catch you know what and they would most likely nod off.

"Ned did I ever tell you about my money making scheme one Easter?" Old Dan asked as you could tell the wheels were a spinning and the cogs a turning in his head.

"No Old Dan but I seem to remember the kids talking about it on shanty lane."

"Well early one spring the hens were all laying well and so we sat a bunch of hens and had a whole passel of chicks. Well I decided I would dye the chicks and sell them for a quarter a piece to the folks around and make me some money to buy me a new bicycle, man Sears Roebuck had a J C Higgins with a tank, and a light and horn, durn things cost nearly forty dollars and I really wanted one."

Ned smiled, "All my life I wanted a Schwinn, a Schwinn bicycle for they were the best and that was what I wanted, and you wanted a J C Higgins?"

Old Dan grinned, "Ned, you don't know how much I wanted me a Schwinn bicycle but they were beyond our means so I settled for the J C Higgins one."

"Now tell me about them chicks, Old Dan did you folks raise white chickens?" And Ned really grinned for he could surmise part of what was coming.

"Well first of Sandra McScriggins told me that if I dyed the eggs before we put them under the old hen the chicks would come out the color of the egg shell."

"Naw you didn't now don't tell me . . . . . . . . . . ., shucks you weren't as smart as I thought you were," Ned slapped his leg and howled.

"Yep so my sister and I dyed a dozen pink eggs, a dozen red eggs and a dozen blue eggs and put them under the old hens. And when them chicks were born they were all yellow, cause all new born chicks are yellow," Old Dan had tears running down both cheeks as he recalled the escapade.

"Well me and the sister went to the store and bought a bunch of RIT Dye, Blue and Pink dye and we dyed all the chicks, and they were cute but it was still about two weeks before Easter so it was too early to sell them then the next week of course all those little chicks started looking like Rhode Island Reds and Domineckers and whatever chickens we raised. Well you can imagine those horrible little chicks with their pink and blue colors and then how they looked. Well so much for that and we had all of these customers lined up.

Then Sam Sparkman in town who had rabbits had a doe that had a bunch of young bunnies and we dyed them and sold them all in one day, but I didn't make enough for that J C Higgins bicycle."

"Lord Old Dan you was one enterprising young feller, but what did you do with all those odd colored chicks?" Ned enjoyed that tale.

Old Dan laughed, well we couldn't sell them to the stores when they got a little older for they were too ugly, so we fattened them up and then with mom's help we would kill and dress about a dozen a week and sell them, we did OK but of course chickens were cheap when we did."

Ned finished his drink and laboriously got out of the chair and put his empty glass on the tray, "Old Dan, what you say we continue this another day?" Then he looked sheepish, "Ardene sent me to the store, for some jar rubbers, she is canning,"

"Well Ned you can sleep in my shed tonight cause your wife is going to be mad as a wet hen at you," Then both men laughed and shook hands, "OK, thanks Ned," and Old Dan saw Ned to the front gate, then he took his tray back inside and went upstairs for a little nap.

Now this was on Tuesday. Friday morning about ten, Old Dan was sitting on his porch when he saw Ned walking up the street, "Morning Old Dan, need a little company?" Ned asked as he raised his hand to his friend.

Old Dan who was nodding automatically raised his hand, "Sure Ned come in and sit a spell, and he stood and walked to the edge of the porch, as Ned again carefully opened the gate and then carefully relatched it. As he got near the top of the steps he reached into his jacket and pulled out a brown paper bag.

Old Dan grinned, "Thought I would bring a little refreshment if you are in the mood," Ned said as he handed the bottle to Old Dan.

Old Dan reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a gold pocket watch and opened it, "Ned it is ten fifteen, shucks we have refreshments now and we will miss lunch." Then he slowly wound the gold pocket watch. If you looked closely at the watch you would have seen that the gold plating was worn off the sides and part of the front and back for this was the watch his grandpa Silas had used when he was 'Cap'n" of the railroad section gang for 42 years. His dad never carried it but when Daniel graduated from high school his dad had given him Grandpa Silas's railroad watch. And that old watch had kept good time for the 59 years he had owned it.

"Yeah Old Dan it is a little early but I had to get out of the house for the wife is cleaning and lord you don't want to be in our house when she is cleaning" Then his smiled turned to a big grin, "That Ardene is a cleaning machine when she takes the notion, the only thing is the notion only hits her ever month or so."

"Well sit down Ned," Old Dan put the bottle behind the wicker chair. Then his face said he had an idea. "Ned the Dew Drop Inn has a great big hamburger special on Friday, a big old hamburger with mustard and onion and a mug of ice cold beer for three dollars, what you say we go down and try it out?"

"We a walking or a riding?" Ned asked.

"Heck if we walk, we can get there for lunch then by the time we get back we will have walked the lunch off and we can have a nip as we rest." Old Dan opened the screen door, "I will tell Nancy and ask her to call Ardene, do want them mad at us."

"Good idea, don't forget the bottle there behind the chair," Ned said as he reached over and got the bottle and handed it to Old Dan.

Old Dan went in the house and in a couple minutes came back to the door, "Need to use the facilities afore we start?"

Ned grinned, "Oh you have that problem too?" And went inside. As they got back to the kitchen Nancy was on the phone.

When Ned came out, Nancy spoke, "Ned, Ardene and I are going garage sale looking and she said, for you to be home by supper time for remember she has bridge tonight."

Old Dan and Ned started out, for it was about a mile to the Dew Drop Inn, well actually it was "Abie's Burger Bar" but all the old folk called it by the original name. Ned remember the other day we were talking about names, you never had any other name than Ned did you, no nickname or odd name, I mean?"

"Yeah once I the sixth grade Bill McKook called me skillet for he said I had a skillet face and I broke his jaw and knocked out six of his front teeth, and they say I stood over him and said, "My name is Ned, you understand?" And if you remember Bill McKook was a big boy even then." Then he laughed.

"As I said the other day, I was Daniel till the first child was born then it was so funny for the next day I became Dan and was Dan to everyone till I retired or rather just before I retired when my hair turned white, then I became "Old Dan" cause the son, had been Daniel till then and he too became Dan as I became Old Dan." He laughed and waved to a truck, which tooted at them. "Yes siree bob it is funny, but I think it neat you have been Ned all your life, but what about your boy?"

Ned grinned, "Shucks I lost that battle for I wanted to name him Ned but my wife said no the son would be named after my father and her father, "Abraham, for I was named after Abe Lincoln, Abraham Lee, for her father was named for Robert E Lee, so the son just became A L." Ed grinned for he remembered the arguments he and Ardene had before A L was born, for he wanted the child to be Ned J., the J being for Jack, Jack Dempsey, and he wanted the daughter to be, Shirley Carol, for Shirley Temple and Carol Lombard.

"Shucks if I remember right you lost out, unless you got to name the other two girls," Old Dan said as then stopped and watched the string of cars driving down Front Street.

Ned laughed, "Yeah, lord a mercy, Ardene had it in her head she had to name the kids after relatives, like the last daughter had to be named for my Uncle Hiram cause he gave us the lot for the house, and since she couldn't name a girl Hiram, she named her "Shiram" for Hiram Stookes." Then both got a big laugh out of that. "How bout you, how did you fair with your three when it came to naming?"

About then they heard a loud blast of a horn and as they turned to look it was Nancy and Ardene heading out to those garage sales. Old Dan smiled at his friend, "The oldest boy was named for me, but instead of Junior, we named him Daniel J the second and the oldest girl did get my grandma's name, 'Mary' and the rest I left to Nancy." And by now it was ten after twelve and they had reached the Dew Drop Inn and there was a line waiting to get in, "Let me go get our name on the list," Old Dan said as he edged his way between the people standing in front of the door.

Within a minute he was back, "Come on Ned, come on," he said as he beckoned to his friend. Ned worked his way into the front door where a large man with a full beard and a white chef's hat on was standing waiting.

"Old Dan, Ned come on back, hope you don't mind sitting in the employees booth but you won't have to wait," the man said as he showed them back next to the kitchen door. As the two old men took off their hats and sat down the younger man in the Chef's hat said, "How about a big juicy hamburger and a cold mug of beer?" Both men smiled and shook their heads.

"How did you do it, how did you get us ahead of all those other people waiting?" Ned asked.

Old Dan grinned, "That is Shiram's daughter's husband, and I still do some electrical and plumbing work for him, and he gives me a hamburger every so often." Ned shook his head.

Within a couple minutes a tall attractive ash blonde came back with two large iced mugs of beer. She put paper coasters down, then the mugs and then kissed Old Dan, "Hi grandpa, glad you could come by, your hamburger will be ready by the time you are ready for another mug of beer." Then she put the napkins down, "And Ned you had better watch out hanging around Grandpa for he might lead you astray," and she was gone.

"But Ned you know when they first called me 'Old Ned' it hurt my feelings then I took it as a title of respect and you know I like it for this has been a good life for me," and Old Dan raised his mug and the two drank a toast and went back to talking.

At three thirty the girl and the tall man in the chef's hat came back, "Grandpa, grandma said if you are ready she will give you and Ned a lift home." Ned reached for his wallet, "Let me have the bill and we will go,"

"No bill, it is for services rendered, and Ned next time bring Ardene and you can sit back here if you wish," the man said. Ned left a twenty under mug for a tip and the two left.

"Ned want to walk home, I need the air?" Old Dan asked.

"Yes, for that was an enjoyable lunch." And the two told their wives and started the walk back home.