It was one of those hot sultry days in Washington. My wife and I sat sweltering in the oppressive heat.
"Sure would be nice, Pa, if we had someplace cool to spend these hot summer months," she opined in her nasal yet charming voice.
"Sure would, Maude." I pondered this a bit, hoping my bride of 47 years would catch my drift. I paused, perhaps 15 minutes went by. "Yep, it certainly would be nice," I elaborated.
Well a few weeks went by and our conversation continued at its lively pace. We'd even crack a smile now and then at each other's subtle remarks on the vicissitudes of modern living and the meaning of life.
Then one day some friends on the Internet were talking about their vacation in Maine and picking wild blueberries and all sorts of adventuresome things like that. That got me to thinking, it certainly did. The following Sunday I saw in the Travel section of our local newspaper (it fills a whole half page you know) about Nova Scotia, somewhere in Canada I figured. And what do you know, I saw this ad. Here's what it said, word for word.
Looking for Nature's Paradise?
Small charming Canadian fishing village, close to ocean.
Lots for sale. Unbelievably low pre-development prices.
Many cottages in place, a few in move-in condition.
Just $995 buys the vacation cottage of your dreams.
Call now for free brochure!
Henry Hawker
I knew this was for me and Maude. She was napping at the time and I figured what the heck! So I called Mr. Hawker and was he nice! Told me all about the town: fantastic restaurants, real friendly people, and the cottages were selling like hotcakes. He said the cottages were cozy, had an open floor plan, and lots of ventilation. Man, he sure talked smooth and I could tell he was honest as the day is long. He told me so himself and what could be better than that?
Well, that good man faxed me the contract in a blink of an eyelash. He even put an "X" where I was to sign. He said I didn't even have to read the printing (it was kinda small anyway and full of "therefores" and "herebys"). Maude was still sleeping and I didn't want to wake her. I am always considerate of her feelings and besides she needs her beauty rest, as the good Lord knows. So, I returned the contract to Mr. Hooker. But wouldn't you know I plum forgot to include our check but he was real decent and reminded me about that too. Now wasn't that considerate of him?
Well, we did get up there just a short while ago. I am plum tickled with it. Somehow Maude didn't exactly fall it love with it. To tell the truth, she left after five minutes and done filed for a divorce. I haven't seen her since.
But I like my new vacation home. Like the man said it is cozy and well ventilated. Don't you agree I made a wise decision?
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