Well, here I am again, sitting at the kitchen table enjoying my second cup of coffee. Frank has gone to the fields already and as soon as I change the beds, I'll start the wash. Then I'll vaccum and dust, maybe, and after that, I'll iron. Hum-drum work....a hum-drum day ahead. Another day of what has become a common housewife's boring routine.

Oooops, the phone. "Hello?" I say, picking it up.

"Martha?"

"Uncle Edgar! How are you?" Uncle Edgar is calling me from his home in New York City, and I wonder why.

"I'm doing pretty good, Martha, but your Aunt Lorna fell and broke her hip."

"Oh no. When, Uncle Edgar?" Poor Aunt Lorna, she has the worst luck. A few months ago her credit cards were stolen and she had a heck of a time getting the mess straightened out.

"It happened two days ago, and Martha.....?"

"Yes?"

"I'll come to the point. I was wondering if you could possibly give us hand in the office until she's back on her feet. I know I'm asking a lot, considering how busy you and Frank are with your farm chores, but I really have no one to turn to. It's almost impossible to find someone competent enough to do the work with this short notice. You know so much about office equipment...."

I'm excited over the possibility of staying with Uncle Edgar and Aunt Lorna, and for the chance to work in New York City, that my mouth will hardly shape the words. "Oh, Uncle Edgar!" I say, breaking in. "I'm quite willing to come. Frank and I aren't THAT busy."

"Are you sure, Martha? We're talking about possibly eight weeks...or at least until I can find a replacement."

Is he kidding? I'm so excited I'm about to pee my pants. "Oh that won't be a problem, Uncle Edgar, I promise." But my mind races ahead so I realize that I'll be gone when the garden comes in. But I can pay one of the neighbors to take over, I reason. I did it once when I sprained my ankle and had to be on crutches for six weeks, so I if I did it once, I can do it again. Anything for a chance to spend eight weeks in New York City.

"Well if you're sure......"

"I'm sure", I laugh and say, but my fingers are crossed. Frank will be furious.

"Could you.....I hesitate to ask this, Martha....but could you possibly be here by Monday? The movie Spider-Man comes out and I'll need you."

I did some mental calculation. "Sure I can come. I'll call Amtrak as soon as I get off the phone and make the reservation."

"You don't know how much I appreciate your willingness to help us out, Martha."

And you don't know how much I appreciate your helping me out, Uncle Edgar, I think, but don't say. I welcome the chance to get away from my boring hum-drum routine. "You've been so wonderful to me over the years, Uncle Edgar. It's the least I can do........."

On Monday morning, I'm raring to go. Frank drives me to the Amtrak train station in Baltimore, where I board the Metroliner for Penn station. It's a three hour trip from Baltimore to Penn station, but it seems like less because the train goes fast it must have wings. I'm not accustomed to going by train because Frank usually goes too when we go to Uncle Edgars, and he drives. But as I sit looking out the window at the countryside, I realize that traveling by train is much better than by car. This way I don't need to worry about having to ask Frank to stop for a potty break, which he hates, nor, thank goodness, will I need to ask him to stop so I can stretch my legs.

The train arrives on schedule and as soon as I get off, I find myself surrounded by people, lots of people, people who resemble ants crawling across a piece of honey-bread, and they're all hurrying to get someplace. Although I'm somewhat stupified, I can't help but smile. What's the rush? I wonder. I finally see a sign that points to 42nd street and head that way. When I emerge from the station to the sidewalk, I look for a taxi. Although the theatre where my uncle works is near Penn station so I could walk, his home is situated in upper Manhattan.

I don't wait long before a taxi pulls up. The driver jumps out and helps load my luggage. Although I know it would be a whole lot less expensive to go by subway, I reject the idea because no way will I take that risk of maybe winding up in Brooklyn.

I love New York City. Compared to my town of Frederick, Maryland, New York City is a totally different world. Here there are more people in one square block than we have in all of Frederick, plus it's an international city. In fact, there are so many Moslems and other religious sects, and so many who speak a different language, that I always feel like I need a passport when I visit.

I spend a very enjoyable evening with my aunt and uncle and the next morning my uncle and I take the subway to the theatre, where he works. He shows me the office where I will spend my time and although I've visited his theatre many times, I've only seen his office once. I'd forgotten how small it is, but there's a window, thank goodness, and luckily, it faces the street instead of another building.

We're on the fourth floor of a five story building, so during my breaks that first morning, I find myself at the window peering at the pedestrians below. Every time I come to New York I'm intrigued by the way people dress, and today is no different. I see hairdos of every style and color, and the garmets they wear? Oh my.

The next day is opening day for Spider-Man so on the way in this morning I asked my uncle if I might slip in for one of the showings. "Of course you may," he'd said, "and what's more," he'd hastened to add, "You can go to the first one."

Wow! I'm so thrilled I've forgotten to take my lunch break so when I feel hunger pangs and see that it's nearly two o'clock, I get my lunch and start to spread it across my desk. About that time, my uncle comes in.

"Martha, these men are here to hang a Spider-Man replica out the window and they'll need to move your desk back, okay?"

"No problem," I say as I mentally name them Mutt and Jeff. I watch them place the large cardboard box they're carrying on the floor, so I push up from my chair with a stack of papers that need filing.

The next minute, I hear one of the men raise the window. Street noises from below drift up, plus a few other sounds. I hear the carton being ripped, but I pay it no mind.....until I hear "SSSSSSS.....sttttt.....tttt".

I glance back, over my shoulder, while I simultaneously step back, because there before my eyes is an enormous replica of Spider-Man coming to life! I gasp and stand paralyzed as I watch it grow larger and larger. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize this 'Spider-Man' thing is far too large for this room! I think. I start to bolt and run for the door, but at that very instant, a large blue hand juts forth and slams me against the wall!

"WWWHHHHOOOOOOOOAAAAAA!" one of the men yells, and just as he makes a dive for the fast growing Spider-Man, Spider-Man's foot strikes 'Jeff' and causes his leg to shoot out and nearly cold-cock me. 'Mutt', the second man, makes a dive in an attempt to wrestle Spider-Man to the floor, but just as he jumps, there's a loud "BANG" outside and his thumb dislodges the deflation plug instead, which sends Spider-man into orbit.

The file cabinet topples and my egg salad sandwich flies all over the place, splattering Jeff's glasses and spraying my face.

Spider-man orbits wildly, and as he gathers speed, he darts hither and yon. The men wave their arms and leap up and down, attempting to catch him, but Spider-Man continues to jiggle and dance, and the smaller he gets, the faster he spins. The men try to snag anything at that point.....an arm.....a leg......the head...... anything to stop Spider-Man before he flies out the window!

Finally, when the chase is over and Spider man lies in a heap on the floor, I draw a deep breath and access the damage. Sadly, my Uncle Edgar's office is a shambles. Not only have the fax machine and computer been relocated, but my blouse is torn and my glasses are missing. Spider-Man is much smaller, I notice, and doesn't look anything like the whirling dynamo he was only moments ago.

I look at the men who are obviously rattled. Afterward, they will probably laugh and tell their story to everyone they know, which is what I will do, but right now, no one thinks the matter funny.

"We're very sorry ma'am," Jeff says in a low meek voice. Mutt wags his head, walks over to the file cabinet, lifts it, and pushes it against the wall. "They didn't tell us it had a built in inflation system," he says, obviously embarrassed. "It must have caught on something when I lifted it out of the box."

"It wasn't your fault," I mumble. "It was an accident. But it sure has been an unforgettable afternoon for me...."

"And for us, too, ma'am," they say simultaneously.

Later, after the three of us have put my uncle's office pretty much back to order, I leave so the men can finish their job of hanging Spider-man out the window. That evening, as my uncle and I emerge from the building on our way home, I pause and look up. And there he is! Spider-Man in all his glory is hanging from the window outside my office, and, I might add, looking very much like the great crime fighter he is. But I have to laugh when I suddenly realize that Spider-Man attacked me before he will attack crime in New York City.

>***************

My Recipe For Egg Salad

Servings = 4

7 large eggs

1/2 cup diced celery

1/2 cup diced pickle

2 Tbs low fat mayonnaise

1/4 tsp pepper

1/2 tsp salt

Boil about 3 quarts water in a medium sized pot. When the water is at a full boil place the eggs in the pot and cook at a full boil for 3 minutes. Remove from the heat and let stand in the hot water for 12 minutes. Remove from pot and place in cold water. Peel eggs.

Slice eggs in half and reserve 4 of the yolks for another use.

Place the whites from 7 eggs and yolks from 4 eggs in a bowl with the celery, pickle, mayonnaise, pepper and salt.

Blend and chill at least one hour.