Everybody talks about how complicated the stock market is. That's ridiculous. Making money in the market is as easy as eating a donut. I know this because I love donuts.

Back in Janurary of the year 2000, I bit into my first Krispy Kreme donut, smacked my lips, rolled my eyes and announced to one and all "Yummmmm! This is the best donut I ever tasted." And it was, by far, the best donut I had ever tasted.

Along about that same time, I was nearing retirement and was looking around for investments which would, hopefully further enrich my 'Golden years' after I retired and sailed off into the sunset. I bought a little gold and I bought a few Dot Coms. I bought a little silver and I bought Cisco 'cause everybody who bought Cisco was gonna be rich. I continued to buy Krispy Kreme donuts on the way to work every day.

A year after I bit into my first KK donut, the price of that company had doubled in value. Six months after that, the stock split two for one and it took off for the stratosphere. There's a moral here folks. Remember when Microsoft came out with Windows 95? I was as excited as I could be because now, even a dummy like me could use a computer to track some stock I had in some company that did something or other in the Amazon rain forest.

Remember when it took forever to get on AOL because we kept getting busy signals? I stayed with AOL though because it had all the features I wanted in an online server back then. I also stayed because all my friends were staying. It was right about then that I bought a bunch of gold stocks. I would sign on AOL, use the Microsoft software and look up the price of gold as it kept dropping like a rock. Sometimes, I would even be munching on a Krispy Kreme donut while I did my browsing among the stock market possibilities my broker was touting that month.

Like I said, folks. There's a moral here. BUY STOCK IN STUFF YOU KNOW AND UNDERSTAND. If you and all your friends suddenly discover the Outback restaurant chain serves the best chicken dinners you ever tasted, don't just say "Yummmmm! This is good chicken." Take your money out of Beautiful Horizons dot com which does something or other with some kinda crystals in laboratories in some country or other. Put that money in Outback stock.

I wish somebody hadda told me this that day I bit into my first Krispy Kreme donut. Anybody wanna buy some Pet Vitamins dot com stock? I've got a buncha stock certificates around here somewhere or other.