One morning, about two weeks later, Dawn woke up feeling extremely nauseous. She made it to the bathroom just in time.

AJ got out of bed and knocked lightly on the door.

"Baby? Are you okay in there?"

He cringed when he heard her throw up.

"Can I come in?"

"No," Dawn groaned. "I don’t want you to see me like this."

"I’ve seen you sick before, baby," he pointed out.

"Just go check on our daughter. I’ll be out in a minute."

"But..." he started to protest.

"Please Alex," she pleaded, feeling sick again.

"Okay. I’ll be downstairs", he replied, feeling rejected. "I’ll make you some tea. Come down when you’re ready."

He left her alone and went to check on Arianna.

Dawn came downstairs a little while later and found AJ fixing Arianna breakfast. Dawn kissed the top of her head and sat down at the table.

"How are you feeling, Angel?" AJ asked concerned as he handed Dawn her tea.

"Will you pway game wif me Uncie Nick?" Arianna asked.

Everyone looked at Nick, wondering if he could resist the cuteness of this little girl. He couldn’t.

"Of course I’ll play a game with you," he said, taking her out of D’s arms.

"Daddy come too!" she insisted pointing to AJ.

"Alright. So, what will it be today? Candyland? Uncle Wiggly? Monopoly?" Nick asked.

"Monopoly? She’s only two, Nick," AJ laughed.

"I almost free!" Arianna stated matter of factly as she raised three fingers.

"Oh, I’m so sorry, little Miss Thang", AJ chuckled, following them out of the kitchen.

"Arianna has plenty of people around her that love her. I’m sure she knows that she’s not being neglected."

"But I’m her Mother. She needs me. Not other people, damn it!" Dawn slammed her cup down making D jump.

"Whoa," D laughed. "Must be those pregnancy hormones."

"I’m sorry," Dawn ran her hands over her face. "I just have a lot of things going through my head right now. On top of everything else, we need to figure out when to tell Arianna about the baby and what we’re even supposed to tell her. I’m so overwhelmed and frustrated with everything, I’m such a terrible mother…"

"Listen to me, you are not a terrible mother. Everyone understands that they have to do a little more around her and that you aren’t as capable of doing things like you used to be."

"I hate that!" Dawn cut her off. "I’m useless! I hate people doing things for me! I hate having to sit here day in and day out not even being able to plan my own daughter’s birthday party by myself!!"

"I know it’s hard", D pat her hand. "But it won’t be like this forever. Your body has been through a lot and you need to take it easy. Just think about the baby for now. Arianna knows you love her, she knows you’re her mother, that will never change. She’s the luckiest little girl in the world to have so many people that love her and want to be part of her life".

"I know," Dawn sighed as she rested her elbow on the table and her chin in her hand, "Maybe I’m more afraid of her not needing me anymore. I see how she is with Alex, with Denise, even with you and Nick, and it makes me feel like I haven’t been a part of her life for so long, she doesn’t feel like she can count on me."

"Dawn, you are her mother, she will always need you. She’s just learned that she can depend on other people, too. That’s a good thing, that means she’ll grow up to be well adjusted and confident because she’ll know that she has a lot of people she can go to that love her."

"Yeah, you’re right. Thanks," Dawn smiled weakly.

"Hey", D leaned closer.  "Don’t worry so much. Everything will be fine."

"I know", she squeezed D’s hand.  "Like you said, it’s those pregnancy hormones. I just need to relax."

"Relaxing is good", D replied. "So, what do you want me to do for this shindig? Make cookies? Get the cake? Decorate? Call the guys? You name it, I’ll see it’s done."

"I’ll call everyone, I guess you can make some brownies or cookies or something and come over and help me decorate."

"Sounds like a plan."

They sat in silence for a minute.

"So how are things going with you and J?"

"Things are perfect," she gushed. "He is the sweetest with this baby. He sang us to sleep the first night I was home," she smiled, remembering the song and how well it fit.

"Awww, that’s so cute!"

"I know. It’s so great being home again. I also had him out getting food to satisfy my cravings."

"Oh no! They’re starting already?" D chuckled.

"Yes! Big time! He’s going to be running all over Orlando for the next five months getting me shit to eat!"

They both laughed at the thought.

"I’m glad things are going so well. You really had him scared in the hospital. You had us all scared," D told her, tears forming in her eyes at the memory of her friend lying in the hospital. "He wouldn’t leave your side and when he did I was there. He didn’t want you to be alone. I tried to get you to respond to me but you didn’t. Not even when I told you Nick yelled at me," she laughed.

"Nick yelled at you??" Dawn asked, surprised.

"Yeah…he got mad when I kept yelling at AJ for putting you in the hospital. He said I need to get over it."

"Way to go, Nick!"

"I knew you would have been proud of him," D chuckled.

Dawn thought back to when she was in the hospital. She vaguely remembered hearing D tell her about Nick.....and something else.

"You said something else," Dawn said, trying to think of what it was.

"About what?" D tried to remember what she had said to her.

"You said something about me forgiving you? All of you?"

D froze and stared at Dawn.

‘Oh God, no,’ D thought to herself. ‘She can’t remember.’

"I think you’re talking about AJ," D tried to convince her.

"No, I don’t think it was him. You said something about understanding something." Dawn shook her head to clear it.

"I don’t know. It’s all so cloudy. I suppose it could have been Alex."

D let out the breath she didn’t know she had been holding. That was close…too close. Dawn was remembering and that was very bad. She had to talk to AJ.

As if reading her mind AJ walked into the kitchen to get sodas for he, Nick, and Arianna. D got up and went to refill her coffee.

"I need to talk to you," D whispered to him. "It’s important."

"Okay, come help me then."

D nodded and grabbed one of the glasses.

"I’m going to help him with the drinks and see who’s winning the game," she covered.

She stopped to give AJ a kiss before heading upstairs.

"What is it?" AJ asked D once they were alone. She looked scared to death.

"Dawn and I were talking about when she was in the hospital. I told her we sat and talked to her. She remembered me saying something," D rubbed her hands together nervously.

"What did you say?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowing together.

"I said that I hoped she forgave us for keeping all the stuff that happened over the last few months while we were on tour."

"And she remembered that?" AJ swallowed hard. This wasn’t good.

"No, she said that she remembered that I said something about her forgiving me, all of us. That’s it."

AJ ran a hand through his hair.

"What did you say?"

"I said that she was probably talking about you. It makes sense since you thought that the baby wasn’t yours and everything. I’m sorry, J. I was just scared and I didn’t really think she’d hear me or remember or…"

"Calm down," AJ said, hugging her.

D nodded and took a deep breath. She was so scared that Dawn was going to find out about everything and hate her, hate them all.

"She can’t find out J, she just can’t."

"I know. Just keep saying that it was me if she brings it up again. That was good."

"Okay," she nodded. "I just hate lying to her".

"I know, I do, too, but, at the time, it was for her own good. We can’t change it now. It will be okay, we just have to stick together, " he told her.

"Daddy! Your turn!!" Arianna yelled impatiently at him.

"Yes ma’am!" AJ saluted as he went back to playing the game.

Nick looked at D questioningly. He heard her and AJ whispering and was wondering what was going on. She smiled at him, knowing what he was thinking.

"You okay?" He mouthed.

D nodded and sat down next to him. He kissed her cheek and put his arm around her.

‘Things are going to be okay,’ D thought as she watched them play their game. ‘At least I hope so.’

A little while later, AJ went upstairs to check on Dawn. He had noticed that she had been gone for a long time. He wanted to make sure everything was okay.

He opened the door to their bedroom and saw her sitting on the bed in her robe, dripping wet and
crying. 

"Angel, what’s wrong?" He ran over to her and knelt down in front of her.

"I was getting out of the bathtub," she cried into her hands.  "And I noticed that there were no towels, so I went over to the linen closet to get one and realized that they were on the top shelf and I couldn’t reach them…..I was gonna get a chair to try to reach them, but I didn’t want to take the chance of falling……I can’t do anything, Alex! I’m useless!!" She sobbed.

"Oh, baby", he pulled her into his arms. "You’re not useless".

"Yes I am!" She cried out of frustration, "I’m a lousy mother, I’m a lousy fiance’, I can’t even get a
fucking towel!"

"Angel, don’t say that…you’re a wonderful mother, and I don’t ever wanna hear you say that you’re a lousy fiance’."

"But I am, Alex. I can’t do anything for you. I don’t know why you’re even with me…"

"You don’t know why I’m with you?" He said, shocked. "Angel, listen to me", he pulled away from her and made her look at him. "I’m with you because I want to be with you. I love you with all my heart. I don’t need you to do anything for me other than love me.  That’s all I want".

"Alex, I just want to make you happy, and I don’t feel like I’m doing that…" she sniffed.

"Baby, us just being together makes me happier than you’ll ever know," he wiped her tears away with his finger and looked her in the eye.

"As soon as the baby is born, everything will go back to normal and you’ll be able to do everything you could before. Right now you just need to take it easy and concentrate on our happy, healthy little baby", he smiled as he stroked her hair.

Water was still dripping down her face and she was shivering.

"Let me go get you a towel to dry you off, then I’ll move the towels to a lower rack so you can
reach them, okay?"

She gave him a weak smile and shook her head. He got up and walked into the bathroom, returning a second later with a towel. He sat down on the bed next to her.

"Here, let me", he said as he unfolded the towel and motioned for her to turn around.

She turned her back to him as he gently towel dried her hair.

"Alex?" She said quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Why are you with me?"

He stopped what he was doing, trying to figure out where this was all coming from. She turned to look at him.

"I mean, why me? Why do you wanna marry me? Why do you love me so much?"

He looked at her face, so serious, so troubled, then down at his hands. He wanted to find just the right words. Finally, he laid the towel down on the bed and took her hand in his, looking her in the eye.

"Dawn, ever since the day that I stood at my front door, watching you through the peephole, walk up my driveway, right back into my life, I have loved you.  It’s not something I can explain. It’s just a
feeling, deep down inside….a feeling that guides my every thought, my every action. I love you because of the person you are and the person you make me want to be. You amaze me….inspire me. I love you more than I could ever find the words to explain. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by it that I do or say stupid things that I regret, but you have to understand that it’s because I’m so afraid of losing you. I’ve never been this happy…with anyone, I’ve never loved anyone this much, and it scares me. It just makes me do crazy things sometimes. I’m overprotective and overbearing
sometimes, I know, but I can’t help it."

"No, you’re not", she caressed his cheek as a teardrop slowly slid down her own cheek. "Well, not too much, anyway", they both chuckled.

He took her other hand and covered them both with his. He brought them up to his lips and closed his eyes as Dawn watched him.

"You’re so amazing", he whispered. "I’ve never met anyone like you", he opened his eyes and they locked with hers. "What we have….it’s feel so right".

"I know", Dawn smiled.

"I want to marry you more than anything in the world….more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my
entire life".

"Then let’s do it", she said suddenly.

AJ looked at her stunned. "What?"

"Let’s do it, let’s go get married".

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, I’m dead serious. Let’s not waste anymore time.  Let’s do it tomorrow, this weekend, I don’t care when, let’s just do it."

"Holy shit, you’re not kidding," he stared at her, still in shock.

"Let’s go down to the Justice of the Peace tomorrow. We’ll get D and Nick to go with us, as witnesses. We can ask your mother to come, too and we’ll bring Arianna. We won’t tell anyone else. It’ll be our little secret."

"Oh my God, you are serious".

"We can have a big ceremony with a Priest and all our friends and family after the baby is born. Let’s just do it, baby. There’s no reason not to".

"No, I guess there’s not", AJ said softly, trying to make sure he was hearing her right.

"What’s wrong? You don’t want to?" Dawn asked, puzzled at his lack of enthusiasm.

"No, it’s not that", he ran his hand through his hair. "Of course I want to, I’m just surprised that you
want to just go and do this all of a sudden. You were the one that kept putting it off".

"I know, but I’m not anymore", she cupped his chin in her hand. "I want to marry you, Alex. I want to be your wife, I don’t want to waste anymore time. You said yourself, it feels so right".

"I know", he looked down at his hands then back up at her. "Are you sure? I mean, absolutely positive?"

She gently ran her fingers through his hair.

"I’ve never been so sure of anything in my entire life", she smiled.

He studied her face carefully, searching for any signs of doubt or uncertainty. He had to make sure that she was positive about this. They were finally going to get married, he still wasn’t sure if he should let himself believe it, though.

After all the months of being apart, all the months of fighting, of letting so many things come between them, they were finally going to do it. They were going to vow to each other to be together forever, for better and worse, no matter what. They would be husband and wife. Their lives would change, their relationship would change. Were they ready for it?

He looked deeply into Dawn’s eyes, smiled back at her then paused.

"Let’s get married".

Dawn gave him a big smile then wrapped her arms around his neck as they looked into each other’s eyes, both trying to let the seriousness of it all sink in. He pulled her closer and placed a tender kiss on her lips.

"I’ll, umm, call and make an appointment for tomorrow. Hopefully they’ll have a spot open for us".

"They will", Dawn smiled as she nuzzled her nose against his cheek.

He placed his hand on her neck as he caressed her cheek with his thumb.

"You’re sure now?" He asked as he looked down at her and raised an eyebrow. "Because after we do this, there is no turning back, you’re stuck with me forever".

"Just the way I want it", she whispered then leaned in and kissed him again. "Omigod!" Dawn pulled away from him suddenly."

"What?" AJ asked, worried.

"I have to go shopping! I have to buy a dress! We have to look at rings!"

She jumped off the bed and ran to the closet, looking for something to wear.

"Angel", AJ walked up behind her laughing as he placed his arms around her waist. "Calm down. Get dressed, then we’ll go tell Nick and D the good news, then we can go shopping. We’ll pick out our rings and get you something to wear for the ceremony".

"You can’t see the dress, Alex, it’s bad luck!" She replied, still searching for clothing.

"Okay then, Nick and I will go off somewhere while you and D look at dresses."

Dawn turned to face him.

"That sounds good", she smiled and kissed him. "Wait! We want to keep this a secret…how are we gonna do that if we all go out in public? And how are we gonna wear our rings? People will know! And what about my name?? If we’re gonna keep this a secret, how do I sign my name on things??"

"Ssshhh", he chuckled as he placed his finger against her lips to quiet her.

"Don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of everything. I know where we can go to pick out our rings, there’s a few dress shops in the area, too, that you can look at. As far as what we say if anyone finds out, well, we won’t make a formal announcement to the public, but if anyone asks, we can’t lie, we’ll tell them the truth. We’re gonna have a big ceremony and everything after the baby’s born anyway, so it’s not like we’ll be keeping this a secret for very long. And your name….I don’t know,
but Mrs. Dawn McLean sure has a certain ring to it," he smiled. "Professionally, you don’t have to use it, that’s up to you, but I really would like for you to use my name for everything else. Oh, excuse me,your name".

"My name…." Dawn reiterated as she thought for a moment.

"What’s wrong?" AJ asked when he saw that she seemed to be deep in thought.

"Nothing’s wrong", she smiled, looking up at him. "I like it!" She kissed him again. "I love you".

"I love you, too", he replied. "Hey, guess what?"

"What?"

"We’re gettin’ married", he smiled as he kissed her again.

"Yes we are", Dawn smiled back as she pulled him into her arms and gave him a tight hug. "Now go
downstairs, let me get dressed, then we’ll spring our news on everyone."

"Okay, I’m off like a prom dress", he wiggled his eyebrows as he kissed her again.  "Or, should I say, a wedding dress."

He laughed and headed out the door whistling ‘Here Comes the Bride’.

Dawn laughed as she shook her head and turned her attention back to finding something to wear.

Chapter 61
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