Nick found D outside sitting on a bench in front of the hospital. He sat down next to her and took her hand in his and squeezed it.
"You okay?"
She looked over at him. Her face was streaked with tears and her eyes were glistening with more.
"I’m so scared for Dawn. After everything she’s gone through she doesn’t deserve this."
"I know."
D turned and looked straight ahead. Nick watched her as her face change from sadness to anger in mere seconds.
"I hate AJ for doing this to her…for saying all those horrible things. She’s done nothing but give him chance after chance after chance and look what he does. He accuses her of having Noah’s baby. Just the thought of that makes me sick."
"I’m not happy with him either. He shouldn’t have yelled at her like that. He wasn’t thinking."
"You’re damn right he wasn’t thinking. And how could he say those things about Arianna?" she asked, looking at Nick.
"I have no idea. I was as shocked as you. I’m sure he didn’t mean anything by it, he was just upset. All this time he’s been nothing but a great father to her. He loves her like she’s his own."
"I know. It pisses me off. I don’t understand him sometimes. He tells her how much he loves Dawn and that she’s his soul mate and he goes and sleeps with some whore. Then when he gets her back he accuses her of having another man’s baby. He has to go and ruin everything."
"How do you know it’s ruined?"
"Oh come on. If you and I had the kind of relationship she and J have and you accused me of doing something like that, you would be gone, no matter how much I loved you. How do you get past something like that?"
"They love each other very much. They’ve been through a lot."
"But there’s only so much a relationship can withstand. I know he loves her and I know he’s hurting right now."
She was silent for a moment.
"When I first saw him again I admit that I wanted him back but when I saw him with Dawn and Ari I knew that it was never gonna happen. He loves them more than life itself. That’s what I don’t understand. That’s what makes it so hard to see them go through all of this."
"I understand how you feel," Nick said, squeezing her hand. "We should get back inside. Maybe the doctor came with some news."
"Good idea."
They got up and headed inside, hand in hand.
"Did you really want him back?" Nick asked her softly as they were walking.
"Yeah," she sighed. "I did."
"Do you still?"
D stopped and stared at him.
"How could you ask me something like that?"
Nick shrugged and looked down at the ground. D put her finger under his chin and made him look at her.
"Nicky, I don’t want to be with AJ anymore. I never loved him. We just went out a couple of times. We had some great sex and that was it. I love you. I love you more than I’ve loved anyone in my entire life. I love what we have together. It's better than anything J and I ever had. He and I are just friends. That’s all it’s ever going to be. I love you and Dawn way to much to ever be with him again."
"I’m sorry I said anything. It’s just that sometimes I remember that you and AJ were together once and it’s kind of weird."
"You’re right, it is. But we’re where we are supposed to be…he with Dawn and me with you."
"I still think about it sometimes. I know I shouldn’t but I do. And then you mentioned it outside, it just……I…I don’t know…"
He turned away from her and walked over to the wall and leaned against it.
D looked at him sadly. She had no idea he had ever felt this way. She walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around him. She rested her head on his back and held him tight. Nick put his hands on hers and sighed.
"I hate that you feel this way, Nicky. I’m so sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry about. It’s my issue. I’ll deal with it."
"I don’t know what else to say," she whispered, still holding him.
They were silent for a minute. Finally D pulled away and stood in front of him.
"I love you so much Nick Carter and no one is ever going to change that. Not AJ, not anyone. If it helps, you are much better in bed than AJ is," she smiled.
"Yeah, right," he laughed. "But now I have this mental picture of you and J in bed."
"Ugh, I give up," she groaned, throwing her hands up in the air.
Nick laughed and pulled her close.
"I’m sorry, baby. I’ll get over this. I promise. I love you so much and I don’t want to lose you."
"That’ll never happen."
He smiled and kissed her passionately.
"Do you think we could, ummm..." he wiggled his eyebrows.
"Oh God Nick, no way!!!" She play slapped him.
"Oh come on. I’m sure there’s a vacant bed here somewhere," he said, looking around.
"You are certifiable, you know that!"
He laughed and pulled her back to him.
"I love you," he smiled before kissing her.
"I love you too. We better head back."
Nick put his arm around her and they headed back to the waiting room.
Another hour went by and they still hadn’t even seen the doctor. No one had any idea what was going on or what was wrong with Dawn.
D and Nick sat on one side of the room, while Kevin and AJ sat on the other. Everytime D looked at AJ, she wanted to hit him again.
AJ sighed as he put his face in his hands. He was going crazy, he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t remember ever feeling this bad in his entire life. He couldn’t stop looking at his watch wondering what was taking so long.
"Hey Kev?"
"Yeah?" Kevin answered, looking over at him.
"You know, those things I said about Arianna not really being my daughter…."
"Don’t, AJ..."
He ignored Kevin and continued.
"I didn’t mean any of it. I love her so much. She’s my little girl, my pride and joy. Whether or not I’m her biological father, she’s still my daughter and she always will be".
Kevin looked over at him and smiled.
"You have the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. I know you didn’t mean any of it, but, you still said it, it’s out there. It’s just a good thing that you didn’t say any of it to Dawn."
"I know," AJ said, closing his eyes.
"I just wanted so badly for us to have a baby together. You know, a part of the both of us. We wanted it for so long. It may not have been perfect timing, but I didn’t care."
"You don’t know for sure that it’s not your baby."
"I have a feeling, though," he answered as he looked down at his hands.
Once again, Kevin didn’t know what to say. He seemed to be the only one that had no doubts that it was AJ’s baby, but he didn’t know how to convince AJ of that.
"Well, I’m gonna go call my Mom. I wanna talk to Arianna, too," AJ said as he stood up and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. "If the doctor comes out, come get me, I’ll be outside."
"Will do," Kevin answered as he watched AJ slowly walked away.
AJ walked outside and dialed his mother’s number as he lit a cigarette. He slowly puffed away on it, waiting for her to answer.
"Hello?" She answered, after the second ring.
"Hi Mom"
"Alex! How is everything? How’s Dawn? How’s the ba.."
He cut her off.
"I don’t know yet, Mom. I don’t know anything. We haven’t heard a damn word yet."
He started to get upset as he choked back tears. He knew he could be honest with Kevin about his feelings, but he still held back somewhat. His mother was the one person, besides Dawn, that could see right through him. They both knew him better than he knew himself sometimes. He never hid anything from either of them, he couldn’t. At least, not until recently.
"Baby, I’m sure everything will be fine. Just think positive…"
"How can I think positive, Mom??! This is all my fault! I'm the one who put Dawn in the hospital! If it weren’t for my big mouth, she’d be okay, the baby would be okay…" his voice trailed off.
"Alex, don’t think that way. It’s not your fault, things happen for a reason…"
"Will you stop telling me that, Mom??! What could be the reason for this??! Everything was going fine with the baby. The doctor said no stress, and look what I did!"
He couldn’t hold back any longer, as he felt tears stinging his cheeks.
"Honey, I wish I could do something for you. I wish I could be there with you. I’m so sorry that this is happening. Some things in life are out of our hands, though. You have to remember that no one even thought Dawn could get pregnant, and she is."
"So why would God take that away from us, Mom? Why??"
He was sobbing uncontrollably by this time.
"He hasn’t taken anything away from you, honey. He has given you so much. You have a beautiful daughter, you have your love for each other…"
"Mom, after this, I think it’ll be over between us, baby or not."
"Don’t think that way. You two have been through so much and you’ve always pulled through it…together."
He wiped his face and finished his cigarette.
"Can I talk to Arianna, please?" He asked softly.
"Sure, sweetie. She’s been asking about you, you know."
"She has? I thought she’d be worried more about Dawn. I can’t believe she had to see Dawn in so much pain. How is she?"
"She’s okay, she keeps asking about her and I tell her that the doctors are going to make Mommy all better."
"Thanks Mom, I don’t know what I would do without you."
"Alex, I’m your mother, I’m always here for you. I love you."
"I love you, too, Mom," he smiled.
"Here she is. You keep me posted and think positive."
She handed the phone to Arianna.
"Jellybean?"
"Daddy!!"
He smiled at the sound of her little voice.
"How are you?" He tried to sound cheerful.
"I sad, Daddy".
"I know, peanut. Mommy’s gonna be okay, though".
"When you come home, Daddy?"
"I’ll be home soon. Are you being a good girl for Grandma?"
"Yeah. We watchin’ movies."
"What are you watching?"
"Umm, Barney movie..and Gwamma make me cookies!"
AJ chuckled.
"Okay, well, you go and watch your movie and be a good girl for Grandma. Daddy will be home soon."
"And Mommy, too?"
AJ was silent for a moment. He didn’t know what to say. She was too young to understand, and the truth was, he didn’t know when Dawn would be home.
"Mommy will be home when she’s all better."
"Okay, Daddy. I go now."
"I love you, honey."
"I wuv you, too, Daddy. Bye!"
He listened to her hang up the phone then sat down on a nearby bench. He closed his eyes and silently prayed as hard as he could that Dawn and the baby would be okay. Tears, once again, started to endlessly slide down his face.
Ten minutes after AJ went to call his Mom, the doctor came into the waiting room. They told him that they had to go get her fianc� before anything was said.
"I’ll go get him," Kevin told them.
D caught his arm as he started to walk away.
"Kevin, wait. I want to go." He looked at her skeptically. "I promise I’ll be nice," she laughed.
"You better be. He doesn’t need any more yelling right now," he warned.
She nodded and went to go get AJ. She found him outside sitting on a bench. As she got closer to him she noticed he was crying. She instantly felt a pang of sympathy and regret.
"AJ," she whispered.
He looked up at her, his eyes red and puffy from crying.
"The doctor is ready to tell us what’s going on. We wanted to come get you before he told us anything."
"Okay," he said, getting up and wiping his face.
He started walking inside when she stopped him.
"J, I wanted to say that I’m sorry for losing it with you earlier."
"Don’t be sorry. I deserved it."
"Maybe, but I shouldn’t have said all those things, especially not now. Blaming each other isn’t going to change anything."
"But I’m the reason that she’s here," he sniffed, looking down at his hands.
The tears were starting to come again and he didn’t want to cry anymore. D didn’t know what to say because she didn’t disagree with him. He was the reason Dawn was here. She hated the way she felt but she couldn’t help it.
"I don’t really know what to say to you because I’m still so damned angry with you. I’m sorry that I feel the way that I do. Can you blame me?"
"No, I can’t. But can you blame me for how I feel?"
She shook her head and closed her eyes.
"I don’t want to fight with you anymore about this, J."
"Neither do I. Truce?"
He held out his hand for her to shake but she hugged him tightly instead. He closed his eyes and held onto her.
"I just want them to be okay," he whispered, his body shaking.
"Me too, J."
"I don’t want you to hate me, D."
"I don’t hate you, J. I could never hate you. I’m just not real happy with you right now," she said, pulling away. "Now let’s go find out how Dawn and the baby are."
He nodded as he tightly held onto her hand. She could feel how terrified he was. Right now, she was, too. She kept a hold of his hand as they headed inside.
"You wanna know something?"
She looked over at him as they slowly walked.
"I’ve prayed before, but for the first time in my life, I pleaded with God, actually, begged is more like it. I begged him to not take Dawn and the baby away from me."
She smiled weakly at him.
"Let’s hope he was listening, J," she said softly as they entered the hospital.