Dawn lay in her bed thinking about what she was going to do. She had so many things going through her head, she didn’t know where to start.
She was mad at AJ for
cheating on her, it was irrelevant that they were separated at the time. At the same time,
she kissed Noah and she had to find out why. Did she have feelings for him? Did anything
else happen between them? Just then, there was a light knock at the door.
"Come in," she turned towards the door to see who it was. She prayed it
wasn’t AJ.
"Hey there, my crippled partner in crime!" D said as she entered the room with
Nick pushing her.
"Hey guys! What’s going on?"
"Oh, not much. We just stopped by to see how you were doing."
"I’m okay, I guess. Just thinking."
"About what we talked about?" D asked as she positioned herself next to Dawn’s bed as Nick sat in a nearby chair.
"Yeah, I’m just trying to get
things straight in my head. It’s all so jumbled up right now."
"Are you gonna talk to AJ?" Nick asked.
Dawn was silent for a minute.
"Yeah, but I don’t want to do it here. I need time to think and figure things out. I don’t know what to do. I can’t go home with him, I need to find a place to live. Maybe I’ll look into getting an apartment or something."
"Nonsense, you can stay with me. You can’t get around by yourself anyway. We can help each other!"
"Yeah, some help," Dawn chuckled.
"D’s right. You can’t stay by yourself. I won’t have it. You need to take care of that baby. I’ll be there a lot and can help you guys out."
"I don’t know, Nick. I hate to be a burden on anyone….."
"You won’t be. What choice do you have anyway?"
"I guess none," she buried her face in her hands. "God, this is all such a mess," she began to cry.
Nick got up and sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her into his arms.
"Sshh, it’s okay. Everything will work out," he stroked her hair.
"I’m just not sure that it will. How did everything get so complicated? What the hell happened?" She sobbed.
"Things happen, you just have to work them out. You and AJ will get through this," he tried to reassure her.
"I wish I could be sure about that."
"Listen to me," he looked her in the eye.
"You and AJ love each other, you’ve been through so much together. You’ll get through this……you will."
"What if I don’t want to?" She asked softly after a long pause.
"What?? What do you mean by that?"
"Well, I kissed Noah….why? Do I
have feelings for him? I don’t know, I’m so confused."
Nick and D just looked
at her in shock. They knew she didn’t have feelings for Noah, it was just something
that happened after she found out about the letter.
"I want Arianna to stay with me, too. If you don’t mind," she looked over at D.
"No, not at all. Who’s gonna tell J?"
"I’ll tell him. I have to tell him where I’ll be staying, too."
"Dawn, just please don’t use Arianna to get back at him. They have a very special bond. She loves her daddy."
"I know, I would never do that. He can come see her anytime he wants. I know he’s going to be upset, but I need to spend time with her, too."
"I’m sure he’ll understand."
"So, when are you getting out of
here?" Dawn asked her, trying to change the subject.
"In a couple days, I think Tuesday. What about you?"
"He said I can leave on Tuesday under one condition: that I promise to keep myself relaxed and stay stress free. Ha, that’s pretty funny."
"Don’t worry, just make sure you keep yourself calm and don’t get worked up about things. Don’t argue with J, or anyone else for that matter."
"I know, I don’t want to argue with him anyway. I’m not really mad anymore, I’m more hurt than anything. Here I was thinking that we had such a good relationship. People would always tell me that they wish they had what we had, I even thought that nothing could ever come between us. He wasn’t just my fiance’, he was my best friend. I can’t believe he would do something like this…"
She started to get teary-eyed again.
"It was just sex, nothing more," Nick piped in, trying to make her understand. "That doesn’t change the way he feels about you."
"That doesn’t make me feel any better, Nick," she wiped her tears away. "I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’m exhausted. I’m sorry, but do you guys mind if I lay down for awhile?"
"Not at all. You just lay down and rest. I’ll talk to you later, okay?"
"Okay, bye guys."
She lay her head on the pillow and closed her eyes, trying to forget about her problems.
Nick wheeled D back to her room. After he got her situated in bed he decided to leave her alone and let her get some sleep. On his way out he ran into AJ.
"Hey man," Nick greeted with a smile.
"Hey, I was just on my way up to see D."
"I just left her. She’s taking a nap."
"Oh…"
AJ looked down at the ground. He wanted to go see Dawn but he wasn’t sure if she would see him.
"Do you know if D talked to Dawn?"
"Yeah she did. She told her to talk to you but she’s really hurting right now."
"I know she’s hurting and I feel terrible. I was wrong and I need her to understand that. I'll do anything..."
"She does understand it, Bone. She just needs some time to think. Give her some space."
"Alright," he sighed.
"I know you love her and I know she loves you. You guys are going to pull through this. You have two children to think about."
"You’re right Nick. We have so much to save. We’ve been through hell and back. This is just another hurdle we have to jump over."
"You guys will make it."
"Are you going to see Dawn again soon?"
"Probably later tonight why?"
"My Mom wants to bring Arianna to see her. She hasn’t gotten a chance to see her yet. We wanted to make sure Dawn was looking a little better. We didn’t want her to be scared when she saw her Mommy like that."
"I’ll tell her when I see her."
"Thanks man. I wonder what we’re gonna do about the baby when we get home. Dawn’s probably not going to come home with me."
"She’s going to be staying with D."
"I thought maybe she would be. My Mom will have to bring Ari to see her everyday. I’d do it but I’m sure she won’t want me there," AJ said sadly.
"Well, ummm…"
Nick wasn’t sure if he should mention Dawn wanting Arianna with her. He supposed he had to now.
"Dawn was planning on having Arianna stay with her."
AJ looked at him with wide-eyes. He hadn’t really prepared himself for the possibility of his daughter being taken away from him. The thought made him sick to his stomach. Being away from her everyday was going to kill him.
"I never even considered that Arianna wouldn't be with me everyday," he choked out.
"Dawn hasn’t really seen her in months. It’s only right that she get to spend some time with her."
"I know, it’s just gonna be really hard not seeing her."
"You will get to see her, AJ."
"You don't think that Dawn would keep her from me, do you? I have to see my little girl," he said, on the verge of tears. "It's bad enough I can't see my fiance'."
"Dawn already told me that she’d let you see her She's your daughter, too. She's not trying to come in the middle of that. She’s going to call you about it soon. You two can talk it over then."
"I’m going to go back to the hotel and call her now, I can't wait."
Before Nick could say anything he was out the door.
AJ ran into his hotel room and picked up the phone. He dialed the hospital number and asked for Dawn’s room. She picked up after a couple rings.
"Hi, it’s me. Did I wake you?"
"Yeah, but that’s okay. I wanted to talk to you anyway."
She sat up in her bed trying to prepare herself for what she needed to tell him.
"Umm, Nick mentioned that you were gonna be staying with D when you were released from the hospital."
"Well, gee, I’m glad he knows how to keep his mouth shut."
"It’s not his fault. I ran into him a little while ago in the hospital and I brought up what we were gonna do when you were released, where you were gonna stay."
"I see. Yeah, I’m going to stay with D for a little while. I was going to look for my own place, but I can’t very well be by myself…."
"You could come home, you have me….." AJ offered.
"You know I can’t do that, Alex."
He sighed.
"Yeah, I was just hoping….."
"I just need some time to think. I have to get everything straight in my head."
"I understand, just please don’t shut me out."
There was an uncomfortable silence. AJ couldn’t take it anymore.
"I guess we need to talk about Arianna."
Dawn cleared her throat.
"Yeah, we do. I was thinking, since I haven’t seen her or spent any time with her in such a long time, that she could come stay with me."
It was AJ’s turn to be silent. He was losing everything, his whole family. Everything that meant the world to him.
"I can see her though, right?" He asked sadly.
"Of course you can, Alex. I’m not trying to take her away from you. I just want to spend some time with her, too. I feel like I’ve been a terrible mother these last few months."
"Don’t be ridiculous. You’re a wonderful mother. Just because you didn’t get to spend a lot of time with her doesn’t mean that she thinks you don’t love her."
"Well, I feel that way."
A few teardrops slid down her cheek. She took a deep breath.
"I just need to regain control of my life, Alex."
"I know, I just wish I could be there, too. I want to help you."
"You can’t. I need to do this on my own. A lot of it has to do with you, too."
He felt tears starting to burn his cheeks.
"I understand," he said softly. "I just miss you….."
Dawn started to cry harder. She missed him terribly, she wanted things to go back to the way they were before this whole tour, but that just wasn’t possible, they both knew that.
"I have to get going," she tried to sound sure of herself.
"Okay. When will I get to talk to you?"
"I don’t know, Alex. I’ll call you."
"Okay," he said softly, "I love you, Angel."
She wanted to tell him she loved him, too. She knew if she did that, though, she would be giving him false hope.
"I know. I gotta go. Bye."
She hung up the phone, buried her face in the pillow and sobbed.
On the other end of the phone AJ held the phone in his hand, unable to hang it up. He wondered if she was crying right now, he wondered if she missed him half as much as he missed her. He looked down at the promise ring she gave him before she left to go on tour.
"I’m not giving up on us, even if you are," he whispered as tears streamed down his face.