When Dawn woke up she noticed AJ sitting next to her on the bed watching her. 

"Did you have a nice nap?" He asked quietly. Stroking her hair.

"Yeah, what time is it?" She jumped up out of bed.

"Calm down, it’s only four o’clock. The party’s not until nine, relax."

She fell back on the bed, relieved.

"There’s just so much going through my head right now, I don’t even know which way
is up anymore."

She covered her face with her hands and winced when she touched the scratch on her face. 
AJ sat down beside her and put his arms around her.

"Baby, I’m so sorry I wasn’t there."

"Alex, you couldn’t be there.  It’s not your fault this happened. There was nothing anyone could
do."

"It’s my job to protect you, though.  I’m doing a pretty shitty job."

"No, it’s not your job to protect me, you have to stop thinking like that.   You can’t be here twenty
four hours a day, seven days a week.  You just can’t be.  You have to stop thinking that you have
to protect me from everything in the world.  I’m a big girl.  You have to let go."

"I can’t.  I’m sorry, but I just can’t," he whispered as he placed a tender kiss on her forehead. 

He didn’t know how to explain it to her, he didn’t think he could.   She was his fiance' and no
matter what it was his responsibility to protect her and make sure she was okay.   Had he been at
the signing, this would have never happened to her, he would have known what to look for, he
would have made sure security was tighter….

"Alex," Dawn’s voice broke his train of thought. 

She sat up and looked him in the eye.

"There was absolutely nothing you could have done to prevent Anthony from coming after me.  I
know that’s what this is all about."

He looked at her shocked, He had never admitted to anyone, not even himself that he felt so guilty
about what happened to her all those years ago.  It was his fault, he should have been there, that’s all he
knew. He didn’t know what to say.

"If I was there, it would have never happened," he whispered.  "Had I been there, he would have
never hurt you." Tears started to well up in his eyes.  "It’s my fault we can’t have babies," he choked
out, tears sliding down his cheeks. 

Dawn put her arms around him and they cried together.

"I’m so sorry," he sobbed.

"It’s not your fault , baby."

"I should have been there, I should have stayed home, it would’ve never happened."

Dawn wiped the tears from her eyes and looked at him. 

"Alex, listen to me.  It is not your fault Anthony did what he did.  He was going to do it no matter
what.  If it wasn’t that night, it would have been another night.  What were you going to do, sit
home every day and night?  You couldn’t, you have a job to do.  I don’t want to hear you talking
like this, do you hear me?  It’s not your fault."

AJ wiped his eyes. 

"I just feel like I let you down.  I promised you that I would protect you and take care of you. 
Look how many times I’ve fucked that up.  It’s my fault we can’t have kids, it’s my fault you have
those bruises and scratches all over you.  It’s all my fault."

He got up and walked to the other side of the room. 

"Goddammit! I should have been there!!" He yelled, picking up a bottle on the dresser, throwing it
against the wall, watching it shatter into a million tiny pieces. He turned and put his hands on the
wall and rested his forehead against it.

Dawn came up behind him and ran her hands down his back, then placed them around his waist. 

"Baby, let it go.  It’s not your fault.  There was nothing you could do."

He turned around and pulled her into his arms and held her tight.  He rested his head on her
shoulder and cried.

"Please forgive me," he sobbed as he slid down the wall onto the floor while Dawn held him.

"It’s not your fault," Dawn whispered in his ear over and over again.  

She didn’t know what else to do, she couldn’t believe that he kept this bottled up for so long. She
couldn’t believe that he actually felt like what Anthony did to her was his fault.

After a few minutes he calmed down and wiped his eyes.

"I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to lose it like that."

She looked at him and caressed his cheek.

"That’s what happens when you keep things like this bottled up, especially for this long. You need
to let go of this, this isn’t healthy.  Everything happens for a reason, if we’re meant to have babies,
we will.  You can’t be glued to my side every waking moment of the day. You have to let go of this
guilt."  

"I don’t know if I can," he whispered.

"Talk to me, lean on me, I want to help you. I’m going to be your wife, you need to trust in me."

He looked deeply into her eyes.

"I do trust in you.  I just don’t know how to let it go."

"We’ll get through it together, it’ll be okay, I promise."

She placed a tender kiss on his lips.  He pulled her closer and kissed her more aggressively.  They
made their way over to the bed in a heated liplock and fell on the bed in each other’s arms.

A little while later, as Dawn and AJ lay in bed in each other’s arms, she looked over at the clock.

"Baby, it’s almost six o’clock. We better get ready for the party soon."

He nuzzled his face in her neck and it made her giggle. She turned and kissed him on the lips.

"I love you so much."

He smiled down at her, he loved hearing her say that.

"Oh, in light of recent situations, I talked to Marcus and we hired you a bodyguard."

Dawn looked at him, surprised.  She almost started to protest, but decided that he was probably right, especially after what happened at the signing.  She also knew there was no point in her even trying to argue with him.

"Who is it?"

"His name is Steve.  Marcus recommended him."

"I want Marcus," she joked.

He laughed. 

"He’d probably like that, I’m sure he’s sick of me.  So, you’re not mad?"

"No, you’re probably right.  I didn’t realize these fans would be so crazy."

"Yeah, well, they are a little more overzealous here in Europe," he laughed.

Dawn up got out of bed and he saw the bracelet on her wrist.  

"Is that what Noah had to give you this morning?"

"Oh, yeah, it’s beautiful, isn’t it?" She looked at it uncomfortably.

He stepped closer, took her wrist and looked closer at it. 

"What’s it for?" He asked, wanting to rip it off her wrist and throw it in the garbage can.

"He said he just wanted to give me a little something to show how proud he is of me."

"A little something?  That’s not little, little is a flower, little is a drink at the bar, hell, little is a
‘'Thank you for letting me get paid for this great job I have’.  THAT…." he pointed at her wrist, "THAT’S big, that’s expensive, that’s not right," he said and walked away fuming.  He didn’t
want to say anything more that he would regret.

"Alex, please come here, talk to me, don’t walk away.  Don’t be mad, this is ridiculous.   I tried to give it back, but he insisted I take it and he put it on my wrist.  Then we had to get to the signing and I didn’t have time to deal with it then."

"Why are you still wearing it?" He questioned, walking back into the room with his arms folded across his chest, obviously very angry.   

"I don’t know, with everything that happened today, this is the last thing I was thinking about!" She yelled.  "Damnit Alex, why are you making my life so difficult??  What the hell is your problem??!" 

"What’s my problem??   My problem is Noah, he’s constantly around, constantly giving you things, constantly playing touchy feely with you!!  I don’t like it, and you don’t help matters by letting him
be the way he is and taking his gifts!!"  He said it without thinking.   He regretted saying it the second it was out of his mouth.

Dawn just stood there with a look of shock on her face.       

"I cannot believe you just said that.  Did it ever strike you to think that I didn’t want to take this bracelet??  I told you what happened, I told you I tried to give it back," her voice trailed off as she
sat down on the bed and looked down at her hands. 

She was still shocked at AJ.  She knew he was right about Noah being too touchy feely, she just couldn’t believe that AJ actually thought she encouraged it.

AJ ran his hands through his hair.  He felt terrible for yelling at Dawn and giving her such an attitude about this, especially since she had no idea how he felt about Noah.  Well, she knew now, a
little bit anyway. 

He desperately wanted to tell her everything, he hated lying to her about what Noah was up to.  During the eight years they had known each other he had never once lied to her, not once, and he prided himself on that. 

He sat down on the bed next to her and took her hands in his.  She looked up at him and he could see the hurt in her eyes.  Seeing how this was affecting her, he came so close to spilling his guts about everything, but he held back, he couldn’t do that to her, not now, not today. 

"Listen, I’m sorry.  I don’t mean to be such an asshole about this.   I just hate him giving you things.  Especially expensive things like this, it’s just not appropriate.  It bothers me, I’m sorry if that sounds childish, I just don’t like it and I want you to give it back."  

She thought for a minute. 

"I just can’t believe that you felt this way about Noah and never said anything to me."

He sighed, "I didn’t want you to think that I was overreacting or being jealous."

"So you just kept is bottled up until you just blow up at me one day??"

"Baby, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.  I should’ve talked to you about it sooner, I just didn’twant to give you any more stress, you were already under enough."

"Alex, let me tell you something.  My career means a lot to me, but there are two things that mean a hell of a lot more to me, that is Arianna and you.   I would never let my career come between us, I don’t care if this is the opportunity of a lifetime, hell, I don’t care if I never get a chance like this again, my priorities lie with my family.  If I ever felt like this was affecting our relationship, I would drop everything, tell Noah to go to hell and I would be on the first plane home."

"I know you would, Angel," he caressed her cheek and pulled her to him.

‘That’s why I have to keep the truth from you,’ he thought to himself.   

"I love you so much, Alex.  I don’t ever want anything to come between us, and I don’t ever want you to keep things from me.  If something is bothering you, you have to talk to me, I need to know.  Keeping things bottled up will only make things worse.  We can get through anything together, but we have to communicate."

"I know, I’m sorry," he sighed. 

He was being ripped apart over what Dawn was saying.  On one hand she was telling him that she would drop everything if their relationship ever became strained over her career.  On the other hand she was also begging him not to keep things from her.  No matter what he did, he couldn’t win.  He didn’t know how much longer he could keep the truth from her, but he knew he had to, he had to look out for her career and protect her.   

"I will give the bracelet back to Noah as soon as I see him, I promise."

He smiled.

"Thank you," he whispered as he ran his fingers through her hair and looked deeply into her eyes.

"I love you baby," he said as he gently lay Dawn back on the bed and passionately kissed her.

After spending some time in bed making up, AJ went to take a shower  and Dawn got dressed.  She looked over sat the bracelet Noah gave her sitting on the nightstand.   She picked it up and looked at it.  She glanced over at the clock.

"It’s either now or never," she sighed as she got up, wrote AJ a quick note telling him where she went and left.

She got to Noah’s room and knocked on the door.  He had apparently just gotten out of the shower because he answered the door with a towel wrapped around his waist.  

"Oops, sorry.  I’ll come back later," she blushed.

"No, no, come in," he said with a smile. "I was just getting ready for the party.  The
numbers will be in soon," he said excitedly, referring to her album sales.

"Yeah, I have to go get ready soon, too, this’ll be quick, though". 

She took the bracelet out of her pocket and handed it to him.

"Thank you for the gift, it’s really beautiful, but I can’t take this." 

A look of disappointment and confusion spread across his face. Then it turned to anger.

"Why not?"

"It’s just not right, Noah".

"What’s not right about it?  AJ said something, didn’t he?"

Dawn sighed. "I knew I couldn’t accept it way before Alex even found out about it".

"So he did say something about it?"

Dawn didn’t like the tone of his voice, she had never seen him act like this before.

"Noah, he is my fiance', he has every right to say something about it," she said as she
walked towards the door to leave.

He grabbed her arm and spun her around.  She had never seen him so mad.  She had never seen the rage in his eyes that he had now.  She had seen that rage before, though, she had seen it in the eyes of the man who beat her for five years when he claimed to love her, the man that put her in the hospital and took away her ability to have children…..She didn’t know what he was going to do, she didn’t care, she just knew that she was scared & she needed to get out of there. 

"Let go of me, Noah.  You’re hurting me, " Dawn said, looking him dead in the eye.  She began to tremble.  He let go of her arm.

"I’m so sorry," he said with a shocked look on his face.

He sat down on the couch and buried his face in his hands.

"I can’t believe I did that, I don’t know what came over me. Please forgive me."

Dawn instantly felt bad for him, she knew he wasn’t normally like that.  She knew how much stress he was under.  Most of the stress, she herself put upon him.   She walked over and put her arm around him.

"I forgive you, Noah, I know this tour is rough on you, but I’m gonna tell you right now, don’t ever yell at me or touch me like that again."

"I’m so sorry," he looked up at her with tears in his eyes. 

"I know, now let’s just forget it.  I have to go get ready for the party.   I’m sure Alex is wondering where I’m at anyway."

He hated when she mentioned AJ, it made him crazy.

"Okay, I’ll see you later, please don’t be mad at me."

"Just don’t let it happen again."

He got up and walked her to the door. 

"You’re not gonna tell AJ, are you?" He asked, afraid of what her answer might be.

"No". 

She didn’t even have to think twice about that answer.  She knew, especially after their argument earlier that day, that if she told AJ, he wouldn’t hesitate for a second to put Noah through a wall.  

"No sense in getting him upset."

Noah was relieved.  He had to be more careful with his emotions and feelings for Dawn.  He was starting to screw everything up.   It was bad enough he had to deal with Nick, he certainly didn’t need AJ giving him a hard time.  

He pulled Dawn into a quick embrace.  She felt a little uncomfortable, but went along with it anyway.  It wasn’t worth making an issue out of it, they were friends, what harm could it possibly bring?

"I’ll see you later", she said, pulling away from him quickly and walking out the door.

Chapter 26
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