They stood there staring at each other for what seemed like forever. Cassidy knew she should slam the door in his face and tell him to go away, but she couldn’t bring hersef to do it. The sight of him standing there, his eyes all red from crying, just made her melt. Still, his words had hurt her and she couldn’t just forget that.
“What do you want Alex?” she asked coldly.
"Can I come in? I want to talk to you.” He looked down at the ground.
“I thought we pretty much said everything we needed to say on the beach, don’t you? I mean, you made it quite clear that you don’t care anything about me. Why are either one of us wasting our time?”
He stepped closer to her and she backed away.
“Cassidy, please, just hear me out.”
She sighed, she wished she could tell him no, but when she looked into his eyes, all the pain, all the emotion, she just couldn’t turn him away.
“You have 5 minutes,” she said as she let him in and closed the door behind him.
He walked around the room with his hands in his pockets. He had so much he wanted to say, but he wasn’t sure where to start. He sat down on the couch while Cassidy stood at the opposite side of the room with her arms folded.
“You have 4 minutes now.”
“Alright,” he sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “I didn’t mean what I said earlier, you know, about not caring about you. The truth is I care so much about you it’s killing me. That’s why I’m so fucked up right now. I don’t know what to do about all of this, it’s all happening so fast..”
“Well, it’s happening fast for me too, Alex. What, do you think I go around doing stuff like this all the time??” She walked closer to him and stopped in front of him.
“Cassidy, listen,” he stood up and took her hand. “People want things from me all the time. Either it’s fans wanting autographs and pictures or reporters wanting interviews or groupies wanting Lord knows what...”
She pulled away from him and turned her back to him.
“I never asked you for anything, Alex. You’re the one who looked me up, remember? I’m not like everyone else in your life, I don’t care about your fame or money or any of that. I just want to be with YOU.”
He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He pulled her closer to him and she leaned her head back on his chest.
“I know, and I’m sorry. It’s just a defense mechanism, I just tend to think everyone wants something from me. It’s hard to weed out the people who don’t. I want to be with you, I want to give you everything, I want to take care of you...I just, I guess I’m just scared”.
She turned to look at him. “What are you scared of?”
He was silent for a minute, he didn’t know how to answer that. He was scared of a lot of things, he just never admitted it, not to anyone, not even himself.
"I’m scared of everything,” he choked out. “I’m scared of the way I feel, I’m scared of hurting you, I’m scared to open up and get taken advantage of. God, I’m such a wuss.”
Just when Cassidy thought she was getting through to him, getting him to open up to her, he turned and ran his hand through his hair as he started to walk away. He stopped in front of the door, staring at it, so close to opening it and walking out.
“Alex, please don’t walk away,” she pleaded. “Here is your test, right here, if you really and truly care about me you’ll come back here and talk to me and work through this. If you walk out that door, that’s it. I'll go home tomorrow and you'll never see me again”.
He stood in front of the door, still staring at the handle. He knew if he opened it walked out, he wouldn’t have to deal with this anymore. Cassidy would go back home and his life could go back to the way it was: comfortable and risk free. “You can’t keep running away. You have to take risks.” Cassidy stated, almost like she could read his mind.
He turned and looked at her. Their eyes locked and before he realized what he was doing, he walked slowly towards her. She breathed a sigh of relief as tears streamed down her face. He wiped her tears away with his hand and pulled her into his arms.
“Baby, I’m so sorry to make you cry. I don’t want to hurt you.”
She looked up at him and smiled. “Just don’t give up on this before it has a chance,” she answered quietly looking him in the eye.
He leaned in to kiss her when there was a knock at the door.
“That must be my food!” Cassidy exclaimed as AJ sighed and chuckled, then fell back on the couch. She brought the food over to the table and put it down.
“Hungry?” she asked. “A little.”
Cassidy looked over her plate of food, then grabbed a french fry off the plate and threw it at him.
“There ya go.”
“Gee thanks,” he laughed as he stuffed the fry in his mouth.
“I’m just kidding, help yourself,” she laughed.
They sat and talked for a long while as they both ate. When they finished eating, they talked some more. As much as they both thought they already knew everything about each other, they were surprised to find that there were a lot of things they still had to learn.
“Do you like fruit?” Cassidy asked.
“Depends on what kind.”
She looked at the bowl of fresh fruit she had ordered.
“Hmmm, grapes, strawberries, cantalope.”
She picked up a strawberry and slowly placed it in his mouth. He bit into it and the juice dripped down her arm. She started to pull her arm away when he stopped her. He grabbed her arm and slowly ran his tongue down her arm, licking up the juice. It took Cassidy by surprise.
AJ took the half eaten strawberry from her as she took a grape out of the bowl. He pulled her closer to him and she sat on his lap, straddling him. She placed the grape in his mouth and he gently sucked on her finger. She watched as he did this, she knew where this was headed and she just didn’t know if AJ was ready for it.
He slowly placed the strawberry in her mouth as she bit into it, letting the juice drip down her face and continue down her neck. Before she could wipe it off, AJ leaned over and gently licked it up. He ran his tongue from her chest all the way up to her lips.
“Oh Alex,” she gasped right before his lips met hers.
He got up, her legs wrapped around his waist and slowly carried her over to the bed. As he laid her down on the bed he stopped and looked into her eyes. They almost pleaded with him. He could tell how badly she wanted him, but it wasn’t half as bad as he wanted her.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, seeing the hesitation in his eyes.
“Nothing at all,” he smiled.
He leaned down and tenderly kissed her again. All his doubt and uncertainty seemed to fade away.


Chapter 15
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