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Character Sheet
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Appearance:

Name: Emmy (real name: Matt Massey)
Nationality: USA
Gender: Male
Height: Tall
Build: Overweight
Skin color: White
Hair style: Total mess, shoulder-length
Hair color: Light brown w/red highlights
Headgear: Nil
Glasses: Yes (round)
Facial hair: Moustache and beard
Facial hair color: Brown
Scar: No
Shirt: Normal t-shirt
Jacket: Yes, see distinguishing feature
Pants: Shorts
Socks: Short
Socks color: Gray
Shoe color(s): Tan
Distinguishing feature: Black-sleeved white jacket wrapped around his
waistline by the sleeves.
Backstory: The man behind the Orochinagi nickname "Emmy" is about as
typical a high school dropout as you can find. He's large, fat,
lazy, and unemployed. However, he's also ambitious. With an obsession
over writing these things called "IAQs," this gave him something to do
during the most unproductive period of his life. Needless to say, he's
really, really good at those. Unfortunately, it's wreaked havoc on his
physical health. Emmy's decided to take up track and field to get
himself into shape, joining up with quite a team of oddballs in the
process for the sole purpose of running. Oh, and breaking stuff. Lots
of stuff. 
School: (censored 'till PenPen releases it)
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Stats:

Attack: ****
Defense: ***
Speed: ****
Stamina: *
Jump: *

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Special moves:

Special move #1
Move name: The Cursed Movesheet
What it does: Emmy posts some random large IAQ stuff in the code
format using an odd pixelated blue notepad and causes the entire
screen to lock up as a result. The difference being that this time,
it's intentional.
Effect: *****
Speed: *
Duration: **
Range: Long (***)
Notes/Strategy:
   Arguably the single best special move in the entire game. Arguably.
There's plenty going against that argument, though. Let's start with
the good; we'll get to those counter-arguments in a sec. One, this is
most likely the only full-screen special move in the entire game. Two,
EVERYONE on-screen minus Emmy is affected. This basically gives him
some time to jog along in peace without a care in the world, as even 
projectiles and moving hazards will be frozen in place. Ready for the 
bad? It's a bit slow to come out. A bit faster than what a one-star
speed attack should, but still slow enough so it can't combo. Two, the
stamina expenditure (6%). Emmy's stamina is ONE star. Do the math.
Three, the victims won't be held in place for too long as the game
moderators clear out and delete the afflicted thread. It's certainly
long enough for Emmy to take a pretty good lead if you're willing to
expend just about all your stamina, though. Like, say, the final
stretch.

Special move #2
Move name: Paperwork Buster
What it does: PAPERWORK BUSTAAAAAA!! Emmy calls upon a gigantic sheet
compilation and quickly revises a couple of them in the form of a
straight punch with his right hand while he holds it by the wrist
with his left, forming a mess of paper sheets that fan out in a 
conical shape. If you need a diagram...
           XXXX
         XXXXXX
       XXXXXXXX
Emmy XXXXXXXXXX  (X = where it can hit, of course)
       XXXXXXXX
         XXXXXX
           XXXX
Damage: * (Health damage) / *** (stamina damage)
Speed: **
Range: Medium (**)
Notes/Strategy:
   A very, very important move for Emmy. This goes between 1/3 and 1/2
screen in terms of reach, and while blockable, causes quite a bit of
hitstun. The damage is negligable to your life bar, but those caught
by this will find that it takes a decent chunk off of the stamina bar!
This is comboable as well: just do a single punch, then throw this
thing out. It kills anywhere from 10% to 15% of the enemy's stamina
meter as they have to will themselves to continue past reading complex
make-believe gameplay designs - something very few people are willing
to sit through. The downside? Emmy has to spend 4% of his stamina to
pull this off. If you're racing against a PB-happy Emmy, you're
advised to either try and sprint ahead, or fall back a bit so you'll
be out of the cone's area of effect. Even with that, expect to see
it as a short combo ender - frequently. The recovery delay is average.

Special move #3
Move name: The World's Greatest Running Gag
What it does: Some disturbed old guy riding an ice resurfacer appears
out of nowhere, driving slowly against the direction of the traffic
of the racers. In other words, INCOMING!!
Damage: ****
Speed: *
Range Long (***)
Notes/Strategy:
   Want to automatically call forth a stage hazard? This is your move,
buddy. Through no special gesture Emmy does, the infamous Peevish
Zamboni Pilot from Twelve's ^@^#% Apartment will appear from the other
side of the screen and start slowly rolling along towards the crowd;
it starts out on an even line with Emmy, but he steers side to side
erratically. Despite his slow movement speed, he has a wide hitbox and
getting hit will not only hurt, you'll be knocked down too. It's
unblockable as well. You can jump over this guy, but it requires a
jump of three stars or greater. Despite the one-star rating, you can
combo into this if you're near the end of the segment and start 
comboing someone at the end of the screen; however, this will 
guarantee that Emmy will be hit too (as he can't jump over it, and no,
he's not immune to the ice resurfacer). Only one of these can be on 
the screen at once, but believe it or not the stamina cost is only 2%
instead of the usual 3%.

Special move #4
Move name: ich habe 2% milch
What it does: Emmy likes milk. A lot. He drinks too much in a day,
but that doesn't change the fact that he likes it. Milk to him is what
alcohol is to alcoholics.
Effect: *****
Speed: N/A
Duration: ***** (always active)
Range: Short (*)
Notes/Strategy:
   Emmy gets a full life AND stamina refill if he gets and uses the
milk item. If the milk item is poisoned, he isn't adversely affected;
he only just gets the normal bonus. It takes a little longer for him
to chug down the milk than the rest, but the difference is small. It's
your priority to grab any milk you see, as Emmy will benefit 
regardless if it's poisoned or not. Just, obviously, you'd rather it
not be poisoned since the effect becomes so much greater when it's the
real thing. Yum!

--
Character strategy: The biggest hurdle you have when playing Emmy is
that he only has one measely star of stamina. Sure, he can't really
jump either, but he tires out lightning quick. On the other hand, his
above-average speed makes up for it to a very small extent. What
really makes him stand out is his special moves. Namely, the screen
freeze one. As one of the game's very, very few (if not only) 
full-screen attacks, it's good. It would be great were it not for the
additional stamina drain, but the fact it gives you more than a clear
shot to sprint for a sizable lead makes it simply good. The World's 
Greatest Running Gag is also helpful in making a hazardous track even
worse, but also potentially riskier for him since his jump is so-so.
Finally, your main goal when playing Emmy is to make a beeline for the
milk. It becomes the game's best recovery item in his hands, so don't
waste that. This is especially important due to his low stamina 
rating! Despite how you'll have to constantly manage his low stamina,
he can do some nasty things if you play it right; the Paperwork Buster
is ESPECIALLY good at keeping others' stamina as low as his own and is
his perfect combo ender.

Creator: Emmy
---
Introduction dialogue:
*Emmy is seen sitting on a bench, catching his breath. He's waving to
you.*
Emmy: Hey! Heeeey! You're the one people are talking about, huh?
Emmy: I'm a runner too. Right now, I need to deliver something for a friend.
*Emmy lowers his hand and leans forward from the bench*
Emmy: I'm going in that direction too in a sec, want to race? 
*A dialog box pops up asking you if you accept his challenge or not*

Yes, I accept your challenge:
Emmy: Okay. Usual rules, right?
*Emmy gets up and walks from the bench to the starting position.*
Emmy: I'll take that as a "yes." I don't have time to wait for an answer.
*start race*

No, I don't accept your challenge:
Emmy: Eh, no problem. Maybe next time.
*Emmy gets up and runs off the bench.*
Emmy: Gotta go before the place closes. Comin' through, people!
*goes back to opponent selection screen*

You win the race:
*Emmy runs up to you, catching his breath.*
Emmy: Okay, yeah, you're fast... well, that was fun. Here's where I need to deliver.
*Emmy walks away, exhausted. He waves half-heartedly.*
Emmy: Have a nice day, or something.
*goes to point calculation screen*
*screen shows you beat that stage*

You lose the race:
*Emmy's looking around, wondering where the player character is.*
Emmy: (Hey, where did... well, I don't have time to figure out if I won or lost.)
*Emmy runs off the screen.*
Emmy: (I can't wait around. It's gonna close in five!)
*goes to point calculation screen*